The death of you

Sunlight iluminates my skin,
Toes wiggle in the sand,
His eyes meet mine,
As the game begins,
I will use all means to an end,
So that he will be temted,
To come closer,
Sunscreen does not block,
The heat my lips are spreading,
The salt in our sweating,
No sound will be heard,
When you ask me for my heart,
You ain't getting nothing for free,
But darling, that's why,
I am where you want to be,
My smile awakes the summer,
As the breeze makes you feel cold,
How could you ever known,
It was not the air, but my heart,
That was frozen,
I asked you to fall with me,
But as you fell,
I kept my feet,
Where I could smash your heart,
Broken into pieces,
It will be burried,
Under the sand of the strand,
I want to be,
The death of you,
Even when we can't,
I will be the death of you.

Sunlight illuminates my skin...
original www.carmenverduyn.com photo

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Writing update..

So... We've been working on a manuscript for quite some time now... 
Since it's new to be writing a whole story... 
Why not let you guys decide what you think of our first chapter... 
Worth a pitch or lose it as fast as a bitch?! 

On the 8th of July we'll be sharing the document with all that leave their e-mail to allthethingsiveneversaid@gmail.com 
... I know should've gotten an easier name.. Sorry! 

By the 12th of July we'll be expecting the wranking game to close and all the feedback will be processed! 

On July 14th we'll be sending one of y'all a special message to who ever had the most honest, creative and best constructive opinion that makes us able to improve before our publishing deadline! :) 

Hints as to what you can win and what the manuscript is about will be dropping on our blog and google plus page in the next days! 

May the wranks be ever in your favour...
XOXO Love, 

www.carmenverduyn.com

More more more

Just one more letter,

One more syllabe,

One more word,

A line longer,

A verse to complete,

The story we never,

Written.

We need,

Just one more,

A little more,

What ever bit,

More,

Cause we were,

To less,

To become,

A story to be told, 

Yet too much,

To be making,

A mess of words,

Storytelling thats lost,

A tale that's cost,

Our hearts...

I'm haunted...

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What if I was wrong?

What if I was wrong?
What if I was wrong?
There is no fault,
To be found,
Not a spot,
On your heart,
That was stained,
What if I was wrong?
There was no reason,
What is I was wrong?
There was no one else,
To sing this song...
If only I had known,
That I was wrong...
What if I'm right?

Whar I'm wrong?
Will I be right?

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Another

Crying I hit replay,
"Wasted all on another love"
I keep on trying to,
Sing with the line,
Without a shaking voice,
But Tom Odell,
Keeps on reminding me,
That I was not your love,
You wasted all you had,
On another love,
You tried to fight,
To give me something,
Of the love you once had,
Inside of your heart,
But you had given it,
Away for free,
All for another love,
Now... Now you have,
Another love,
As do I,
But still all my tears,
Are falling for you,
The one love,
That is from all I loved,
Quite like,
Another love...

Wasted all on another love...

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Any.

It was any other day,
Dominated by,
Normalcy,
Routine,
What was,
What is,
And...
What will be,
It was just a day,
As any other,
Yet as I was,
Walking my way,
Back home,
Relieved,
I made it trough,
My ears,
Got on to a sound,
So familiar,
You.
They heard your voice,
Ringing out,
For me,
It was any other day,
Yet still,
The best day,
I ever had.

The bridges between us where not burned. 

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Nothing

He took my hand,

I wondered,

What it means,

But I guess,

It meant nothing,

Cause what is there,

For this nothing,

To be a something,

We kept on proving,

With every single try,

That there was,

Nothing left,

To try, to wonder,

Or even think,

About.

Nothing.

There is nothing,

There was nothing.

Yet he took my hand,

Maybe that means,

One day there,

Could be a,

Anything,

Between you and I.

I still believe in magic.

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Pictures

1.

When you and I where at the party of one of my girlfriends, she was about to travel the world for half a year. You showed up but acted goofy. You where late and brought a friend. I figured that you and your mate had played a drinking game, turned out, you had been drinking alone. You couldn't say it to my face. If only you had.

2.

There is was, staring at my face. I think it was about 2 a.m. You where baking eggs  for me, and joked around with my friends. I looked in your pupil and kissed your forehead. You where so beautiful. I laughed with you until dawn when we finally fell asleep.  Now I understand why you hesitated when I asked you to stay the night.

3.

He was layed on your couch I remember, te photo was ugly and not even sharp. But you texted me after that they asked if I came as well. I had just met them all for the first time. I wondered why you had not asked me in advance of that moment, but little did I knew.

4.

Your brother and I where having the most funny conversation ever. You didnt liked it. I went on and talked with some of your friends outside, I had a smoke with them. You didnt liked that either. You came standing besides me, guarding me. An old classmate started to talk to me, and she asked, "if we were a couple". You and I both heard it. Once I said it was complicated you turned your head. Yet you did not mentioned it when we later that night, stood in the moonlight, giving the other one a good nights kiss. 

5.

He was playing guitar, the others were singing and you were keeping me warm. We dat close to the fire, I loved how your hand kept caressing me. Later that night in your car you asked me "if there was anything missing, if I ever missed things in my life?" I said there was nothing I missed, I started with nothing. I had more then I ever had... 

Now I know, I was missing you. You where slowly fading away. 

If you'd ask me know, I would say, even after all, that I am missing you. I keep holding on to these pictures... Yet they won't ever wrap their arms around me, the same way you used to.

If only our photobook was not yet filled,
If only I could spend another moment,
With you.

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Had I not

Had I not been a writer,
Then I wondered,
Was there ever,
Between you and me,
Been a story to,
Be written about?

Had I not been a poet,
Now I wonder,
Was there ever a time,
Where you and I,
Had shared so poetic,
Thoughts turning to poems?

If I am not an artist,
I ask my future,
Is there any vision,
Of you and I,
Colliding anywhere else,
Then on paper or canvas,
Turning out to be,
More then just my imaginary?

"We are all blank canvases waited to be coloured,
Why not pain, for you have brushes as hands..."

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Rare

Rare,
He said to me,
You are,
So carelessly,
Carefully,
You are mindful,
Mindless,
You are to be,
Nothing,
That you do,
Or don't see,
I am more,
Then meets,
The eye,
Yet my eyes,
Give away,
All I am,
In a heartbeat,
I was a rare,
Girl,
In a world,
Where nothing,
Is a rare good,
Anymore,
He said to me,
You are,
Rare,
Yet for me,
This was a,
Rare moment...

Collect moments, not things. 

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You might also like to read this post:

Chef Special Indeed       

Sanity

Didn't dare to close my eyes,

So scared to fall sleep,

Terrified to dream,

Cause lately everything,

Seems to be in a,

Dreamery scene,

So here I lay at 2 a.m,

Crying to sleep,

Whilst crying out,

For any voice,

To wake me up,

The blurred lines,

Make me too confused,

I can no longer tell,

When I wake or dream,

If it is reality I've seen,

Terrified to go to sleep,

As I feel myself drifting,

Away from the life in me,

From the Island called,

Sanity.

Dreaming in sanity or sanity as dream?

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More posts like this?

        Fling From Reality                                   

Don't take a word

Just now,
As I was working on school,
I suddenly,
Saw it all fall down,
I knew,
All of it for once,
I saw the bigger picture,
I shouldn't have,
Taken your word for it,
I had to look at you,
And I should've known,
What I doubted,
I should've known,
In your eyes,
That you loved me,
Not taken your word,
For it...
Yet the devastatingly part,
Is that my love for words,
Is far beyond,
Any  love a human,
Ever made me feel...
I'll just wait,
For the day,
That I look at you,
And see that you do.

We thought too much,
And felt to little,
But I'd choose for a lot,
Of your little's.

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I'll be the one

As she has shut the door,
When she no longer,
Waits for your call,
As you sit alone,
Between the ashes,
Of crumbled walls,
I'll pick you up....
I'll pick you up...

When she no longer,
Calls you her own,
As she had flown,
To something more shiny,
I'll be the tiny,
Voice telling you,
It's not okay, but you'll be okay again,
It's not okay, but you'll be okay again...

You broken heart,
Laying shattered,
Unable to be mended,
By her hands that,
So relentlessly,
Torn the pieces,
I'll spend a thousand years fixing you,
I'll spend a thousand years fixing you...

As she has shut the door,
When she no longer,
Waits for your call,
As you sit alone,
Thinking you died,
For all of the fire,
Has turned to ashes and dust,
I'll light you up,
I'll light you up...

If only you'd,
See me the way,
I see you,
I'd be the one..
I'de be the one...

I'll be the one, If you'd consider me...

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Drumroll

It's like a drumroll,
That keeps on passing,
Against the lobes,
Of my so sharp ears,
I wonder if you heard,
The silence as loud,
As did I,
If you where counting,
The seconds,
As I was wishing,
For the moment,
To pass by,
Cause I don't know,
Why I would even,
Try to ask,
When I made up,
My mind so quickly,
Back then,
Would anything be,
Differently?
Between you and I,
Now.. If I try,
To ask you,
The question,
That keeps on hitting me,
It's like a drumroll...

Did you heard, what I did not say?

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Consider...

When there is no one home,
All the doors have closed,
There is no one to call anymore,
You have crawled up in tears,
When there is no one,
To fight away your fears,
When the last straw,
Has been taken long ago,
When there is no one,
How you know,
As the rain comes pouring down,
And your so tired you'll drown,
As you drift from shore,
Consider me,
Consider me,
Consider me,
To be the open door to a new home,
To be your 4 am call,
The one who wipes away your tears,
As she forgives every mistake you made,
And helps to set the sails strait,
Consider me.

Yet I'll be there, if you'd consider me...

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Beat slow

"You move too fast,
You run too far,
You move too fast,
How could we ever be?
Belong together?
Your cars spinning,
There in no beginning,
In chasing you,
When you move,
Too fast for me..."

The last words you said,
Before you broke my heart,
As I watched you,
Fading from view,
I screamed hoping,
I'll ring trough,

"But my heart,
Beats slow...
But my heart,
Beats slow...
Daling don't you know,
That my heart,
Beats slow..."

Now here we are,
Relentlessly staring,
Into another pair,
Of unfamiliar eyes,
I wonder if you think,
About that last,
Sentence,
As much as do I,
Cause... You said

"I move too fast,
How could we ever be?
You don't belong with me..."

"But my heart beats slow..."

But my heart beats slow... I only wished you know... That my heart,
Beats slow...

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Never even begon

And just like that,
We didn't meet,
There was no,
Flashing back to,
Nothing we both,
Shared,
Not a single moment,
We lost it,
I felt in every,
Shiver running,
Down my spine,
That we've lost it,
The fight is over,
The battle can't,
Be won,
Now that it's,
Never even,
Begon.

This daydream is dangerous

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Senseless?

Stood there,
Watching you,
Watching me,
As I see,
This ain't half as bad,
As I thought,
This could be,
I feel you breath,
Coming closer,
To my neck,
You lips,
Almost touching mine,
Eyes,
Following,
My every move,
How Am I,
Supposed to,
Move on,
When I can't even,
Turn around,
Without you,
Blinding my view,
As you call,
Out to me,
In a world so,
Black and white,
You are too grey,
Yet who am I,
To say how,
You should live,
When I am not sure,
That I am living,
How I am aught to be,
Either,
Now that you,
Have stolen my sanity,
Is there any sense at all,
In being senseless,
Until you come to save,
This denzel in distress?
I just wait,
Until I can watch you,
Watching me again.

I'd wish you let me find some new angel wings.
But I guess that's just what a bad boy brings.

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Mistakes

This feeling from him I got,

First I thought maybe it's just me,

Alone I see,

This strange vibe,

For he made no recollection,

Of anything odd,

When I asked him,

About that night, 

He only said,

"Oh you always worry, 

That little mind of yours,

Dont break it you silly"

Then I knew again,

He mistakes me to be weak,

When I am honest, humble, kind,

He mistakes me to worry,

When I am wondering, dreaming, 

He mistakes me to be,

His girl when I am not even sure,

If he could ever be my man...

Purpose of life.

Maybe we all forgot,
What it is to,
Follow a dream,
As we follow celeberties,
On their instagram account.

Maybe we all forgot,
How it works,
Here in the world,
Where busy with nothing,
Then take a nothing,
When things are to busy.

Maybe we all forgot,
That there is no harm,
In being fearful sometimes,
Is it that big of a sin,
To be scared of being harmed?

Maybe we all forgot,
That time and money,
Is just as much a,
Fabricated measurement,
As a good effort is,
Cause who is to say,
That a fool ain't smart,
Or a poor man ain't rich?

Maybe we all forgot,
That to live,
Is more then merely survive.

Maybe we all forgot,
How to love,
Somewhere along the line,
So I have the feeling,
That you have forgotten,
All of these things as well...

But I would be honoured,
If I may make it my life's purpose,
To make you remember,
All of the little things,
That make us fall in love,
With our lives again.

Picture I took in Belgium near the border of Germany and Luxemburg.
"No matter how long the road, one step at a time,
Will take you where my bones call  the ground I rest on mine."

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Sunshine

She stood on the other side of the room,
I could see in her eyes,
That she was so busy dancing,
She had not seen me yet,
I loved those moments,
Where she was so intensely living,
That she had no idea,
What was happing with those,
Who are surrounding her,
Somedays she'd made me feel,
As if I where always running behind her,
Trying to catch her in my hand,
But that's just the thing,
About the light in your life,
It is not in your hands to decide,
For how long it stays until,
The rain takes your sunshine away,
Cause there is not a place,
Where sunshine will stay,
She was so warm and loving,
Yet scared to love at the same time,
Cause everyone coming close,
Got burned by her light,
So I watched her,
From the other side of the room,
For days and days,
Cause I knew, this way,
Is the only one to let my,
Sunshine stay...

You can't ever hold on to light... But if you try,
You might, light up your own life..

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Everything you said you'd never

1.

When you told me you would never lie to me, but that was a lie. It where all lies I just didn't knew at the time you could do so when you looked me strait in the eye. Who would've known?

2.

As you told me how proud you where that you never cheated on her, but before the moment passed you tried to kiss me, yet forgot to told me you had a new girlfriend replacing me...

3.

When we had a conversation about what we wanted in life, our hopes, our dreams, not to mention our fears. You were so afraid to become stuck in one place doing a job you hated, becoming average... Just cause then your momma and daddy would be pleased. Now look at you, you Pleased everyone but yourself. 

I was so in love with you... Yet when I witnessed these three moments I knew, you were no longer the person I once used to know. You turned into everything you always said you wouldn't.

I was so in love with you... But you just don't exist anymore.

The pieces no longer fit together....

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Extremely silently loud.

We where extremely close,
Ignoring each other,
When we where,
Standing two feet away,
All I could think,
In this immense,
Noise you where making,
Whilst you shut silent,
Was that two people,
Not talking,
Can make so much sound,
How loud and,
Over resonating,
All the other sounds,
It sounded to me,
When you and I,
Where ignoring each other,
Maybe we sond,
The loudest message ever,
When we no longer,
Chit chatted,
Maybe us saying nothing,
Says more about us,
The we ever will,
I think she heard the silence,
She heard us screaming,
Trough the mute,
I guess she heard,
For we where deaf to,
The devastating crying,
To give this another try,
Maybe she left,
Cause in a conversation not made,
It was clear,
That the conversation was over,
Cause it's not when you stop talking,
Nor when you still do,
That means anything at all,
It is in the words being shared,
Even if a love is no longer,
Bared...
So she must of heard,
That our hearts,
Beat in sink...
She must of heard,
Something we forget,
We kept on repeating...

Because you're eyes said you where feeling it too.

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Half a heart

Here I stand,
With half my heart,
in my hand,
The other half,
Is somewhere,
Beneath your calf,
Laying there,
Crushed under,
You feet,
Walking over,
The last shreds,
Not of dignity,
But feeling,
I had for you,
Oh, how I used,
To wish the world,
For you,
And save my love,
For you alone,
Yet no longer,
I will now roam,
The streets to find,
Someone with a,
Half heart,
That is two times,
As kind,
Then your whole heart,
That never even took part,
In what I thought was,
A love.

Nothing was going right, I tuned left. And you stayed on the fence,
Where you always stood. 

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Clarity

She was talking about,

Getting clarity,
When I don't even know,
If I will ever get,
Clarity,
It seems so static,
To me to be,
In the clear,
Maybe I even fear,
To have things,
In the clear,
Cause we have never been,
Clearly...

Which one is it?

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