Saturday, May 31, 2014

Little voice inside my head

This voice in my head keeps on asking,
Where you are...
I said I haven't seen you around lately,
And you'll probably with her,
But she can have you,
It's not like I care...
Yet this voice whispered,
"Do you now?"
And I just laughed at this voice within,
Yet this morning a little voice inside my mind,
Asked me again where you where,
And I replied that I couldn't care less,
Over you're whereabouts,
I don't care where you rest you're bones,
As long as it is far far far away from my own,
And almost as a distant echo the voice replied,
"If you think so honey..."
And then as days passed by,
I started to wonder why,
This little voice didn't speak to me anymore,
I went looking and wondering around to find,
This little thing speaking for me,
But I found you...

I found you

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Friday, May 30, 2014

Worth it

You asked my why,
Even after all this time,
I thought you were still worth,
My time and effort,
Even in this whole mess,
And the only thing I could say was,
Because if I only had one minute,
Each and every day,
It would still be enough,
To find in that one single minute,
A thousand things that I love in you,
Not a thousand things I love,
For I was never in love with you...
Clothes, hair, words or flair,
I fell in love with the cracks in you're heart,
And how you have seven ways of smiling,
And those little tiny things you show,
Without any know,
That speak off whats inside,
What you try hide...
So I can only tell you,
That even if forever is just a minute,
I could love you forever...
And it will always be worth it,
No matter what the odds are.

I'll always love you...

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After I fought about it countless hours,
I never expected to find an answer any day soon,
Yet it just drifted to me suddenly,
This rainy sunday afternoon...
You just keep thinking in my expectations,
While I don't expect anything of you other then...
To make me feel loved and make me smile,
But that doesn't mean that I don't have faith not believe in you,
I believe in you and you're potential,
I believe in you more then anyone in this whole wide world,
So how come you cant tell the difference?
What part of me make you feel so worthless or whatever,
That you'll just have to win from me,
That you need to put me down to get back up,
Why do you have to walk so tall over me,
When all you want to be...
Is a little more me?
Havent you ever thought that maybe,
That also counts exactly alike for me?
I want to be like you,
And you like me...
So what the use in this war and silent treatment?
When apart we cant?
Be anything alike "us"?

the true mark of maturity...

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Tuesday, May 27, 2014

stop and stare

He said to me once,
"Stop and stare..."
I never understood what he ment,
He said... "Do you see what I see?"
As we looked at a river bank,
I couldn't really see much at all,
Only water flowing,
And now that I lay alone is this huge empty bed,
I finally understood,
You ment that I needed to take a break,
Rest sometimes, stop and look around,
To see whats there,
To see who and what is surrounding me,
For I'm so buzy moving ahead,
I just forget that my live is also here,
At this moment even if I do nothing,
I still move,
Just as water we people always moving,
For time keeps ticking,
Even if I sleep I move ahead,
My cells grow and heal me,
My heart beats, and my blood flows,
So I tell you now,
"Stop and stare, for every single moment had something rare.."
And it's true,
It's really true,
For every moment that passes by will never return...
So all is rare,
I ask you do you dare,
To stop and stare?

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crazy stupid love

We once laid on the middle of the street,
Rein-acting the notebook scene,
For you love the notebook,
And then on that drunkin' walking home night,
The police stopped there and asked me if I was okay,
They fought you were harassing me,
I couldn't say yes without having this huge laugh burst out,
We were always crazy like that...
Or that one time we came in so late,
We told everyone that we were already up,
When we hadn't even slept a single minute yet,
Oh these stupid memories,
And once when you picked my up,
In this full crowd and just started to,
Well actually I really don't know what you did,
I think you tried some dirty dancing lift up,
But you failed hard,
You let me faal on the ground,
And as everyone surrounding made Ohhhh sounds,
We just look at each other and laughed till we cried,
Oh how many times you've made me smile,
All the crazy shit we did...
It has to make me admit,
That the greatest love are the crazy ones,
The ones where everything is possible,
And you share every thought, laugh, memorie,
Where two souls collide not only as lovers,
But also as best friends, as siblings,
We had that kind of love where you fight and make up,
Where you slam the door and then open it to kiss,
When you act like children, but love as you're grandma and grandpa do,
The one that comes once in a lifetime....
We had a crazy, stupid love,
But in the end we both would do it all over again...

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I lived it all

In this world full of people,
One has a spell over me,
One is killing me,
In this world of people,
There is only one I need,
So if I only live once,
I'd gamble my life away on you,
For the only way I know,
Is to give it all I ever had,
And I hope that you'll stay,
I'll give it all,
I'd do it al,
So I can say,
I lived in this one live,
That I was given,
And even if all my bones are broken,
Even If my heart is torn,
My soul has been shattered,
I still wish that you'll be happy,
I'll just wait for my moment,
I silently pray for a lighter weight,
But if god gives me what he gives,
I'll carry it and I'll live,
So when the end comes,
I can honestly say,
I lived,
Even is something is killing me,
I can swear I lived...
I did it all...
I didn't just excited,
I lived, I swear every second,
Every moment, I did it all,
I lived...

let go make an edventure

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come home

Dear please wont you come home?
I've been waiting for you for so long,
I get lost in the beauty of all I see,
This live is not as bad as they make it sound,
If you paint you're own canvas you'll soon see,
all that matters is the little big things,
Those like you an me,
Now we've been fighting for so long,
Waiting for the calm after the storm,
So babe wont you come home,
Cause everything I ain't you are,
And all I need is all you have,
Everything I shared is what you want,
So baby come home...
Forgive me if we met too young,
I know sure we were ment to meet.
Just somewhere along the road,
And the first bump we hit was so hard,
Set like stone and we havent gotten any experience mining,
But I could keep mining for years to find,
You're heart of gold,
Now babe wont you come home...
I've been waiting for you to come home,
Everything I know is that you're the only mistake I made,
Letting you go was letting an angel get away,
I've been waiting for you for so long,
I want to make this wall tumble so I wrote you're heart a song...
Dear please just come home...

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Not the kind of

I am not the kind of girl,
To break a couple up,
To cheat on somebody,
Or to act like a home wrecker,
But you are not the kind of boy,
To date the wrong girl,
To admit you made a mistake,
To turn back around,
And a our worlds collide,
I lose myself in this repeating dream,
Where I meet you and her,
She causes a scène,
Tell you to follow her and stop it,
But I yell "NO",
She look horrified at you and me,
As I say,
We are not the kind of people to go and forget about each other,
Don't follow her around,
When were still standing on holy ground,
And you look from her to me,
And said,
"I'm glad were not that kind, for you where hard to find, you never left my mind..."
Next thing I knew we just took of,
Left her there and started our new life...

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For ever

I was wondering who long does for ever mean?
Is it really for ever,
Is it a life time or pass one?
Does it mean until its over,
Or does it mean that it always stays some where in space?
Is it more like a certain amount of time...
Because I think that sometimes,
For ever is just a second...

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Monday, May 26, 2014

Told me he loved me

He told me he loved me out of he bleu,
I just made a joke out of it,
But then he said to me just Saturday night that we needed to talk, 
So I sat down just a talk,
As he started to explain why he said it so suddenly,
I just got blanc not even realizing what was happenings right in front of me is like the perfect ending of every single romantic movie,
So then if it was so perfect why arent I happy?
I feel so terrifying and choked and scared,
I wasn't prepaired for anything like this at all,
And it happening too fast I don't have an answer... I don't even have time to think,
Do after he said,
"I've always been in love with you, for years, even since that one moment of August 2010 I loved you, and its not going anywhere, I love you just as you are for who you are, even if you're not very likable or lovable at that moment, I love you..."
And even though I always wanted to hear someone say that to me,
Not even one single word got in,
I was paralyzed, frozen, stunned...
And I just said nothing,
My only reply was Thank you for saying that,
God what kind of bitch would reply like that?!
What do I do.... Next time I see you?
How do I make up,
For screwing up?!

so scared they fall in love with you too...

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Finished cleaning my room

After I finished cleaning my room,
My mom asked me,
How come there is still that ugly black stain on you're light switch,
Honey please wipe it off,
But I cant... Not that I expect her to understand,
Its just like that green mark that once was on my all stars,
It was from a shot we took, 
We were drunk and laughing while toasting so I...
Spilled half of yours and half of mine on our shoes,
And I just couldn't get rid of it,
Its like when I while away those stains,
I also wipe away memories,
And I also clean my heart from the stains you made there,
But I don't want to clean or wipe you out,
For you're all that I think about,
And everything I keep inside my head,
Is just me wishing for you...
I kinda like those little reminders of you around my life,
For you're still one of my favourite distractions,
You the daydream I wish to hold,
You're my one,
You're my person...
And I'd like to be you're person too,
But you havent gotten a clue,
Maybe this thursday I will put on my all stars,
And the clothes I had on that night of my birthday you'll understand,
That there is still room for you're fingers tangled up in my hand...
Maybe I'll act like a bad ass and give you a flirt,
Maybe I be the fire started I used to be and melt you're heart...
After I finished cleaning my room,
I finally understood,
Why it was that I couldn't forget you,
Its because you havent forgotten me neither...
So know I know what to do,
When I find you...

That little stain on my all stars, was like the universe in which,
You and I could still exist, I was holding on to the bead of a spit,
A dream I did not wanted to slit...
And now I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

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Come to the conclusion

I keep traveling back,
Down the road we walked,
Reminding myself of every move we've made,
All the choices we choose,
All that we've been trough,
And the memories we've made,
I've come to the conclusion that it is really true, 
People do change and memories don't...

I keep re-reading,
My writing of you,
The poems you so perfectly fit,
Or angy ballads with an emotional twist,
All the feelings I had,
And maybe still have,
They are hidden in there,
So now I've come to the conclusion...
That you'll always have a special place in my heart...

As I look at the pictures,
I flash back to all these moments we've spend together and put into forever once the photo was taken,
And I've come to the conclusion,
That maybe baby,
You'll have it too...

This thinking about me and you,
When you come home tired from a long hard week,
When you lay in you're bed,
Or when you sit in the train going home,
Sooner or later,
You'll come to the conclusion,
That I'm still somewhere there deep beneath the surface,
In you're heart I still own a little part...

strawberry heart shaped, was in my ice cream!!

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Find out what I found

As you walked in by,
You looked me in the eye,
But you could even say 'hi',
Don't you think she wonders why?

I know and I knew a long time,
Don't act so anonymous it is not a crime,
It was like that all along and she took something that was still mine,
So why should I bother to think if she would be fine?

To be honest I rarely think of her at all,
Its for I always knew I am the one who stands tall,
You and I never got up again after our fall,
So I don't worry I can feel someday soon you'll call,

You were Talking with other ex's before,
But not with me no more...

But don't you worry you're pretty small mind,
It won't be long before she'll find,
What I've found at the start,
It won't be long till the two of you part,
For I'm still taking up to much space in you're heart...

It doesn't bothers her yet,
But some dat soon she'll regret,
Taking something that was mine,
Even if it takes all of my time,
Even if I have to cross a line,
No one is gonne take something I had,
Something I was supposed to gonna get,
Oh she's so gonna get one hell of a load of regret...

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Sunday, May 25, 2014


Yesterday night at 1:30 pm,
Was the exact date and time that we kissed for the first time,
I can still remember how you took my hand and swepped me away,
And without any say,
I just went with it,
It felt good just like somehow I knew it would,
So we both took a sip of this sour drink, 
Laughed at each other and did silly stuff that night,
Like who pees the fastest, 
And who has the most awkward dance moves,
Then as we almost went our separate ways you squeezed my hand,
And I never quite give that so much thought,
But that one squeeze sums up out entire relationship,
Even until now,
Because every time I try to let go,
You squeeze and pull me back,
You remind me you're still there,
And that you hold my hand,
But didn't anyone told you its not polite to hold a hand between you're back?

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Friday, May 23, 2014

put it on the pile

He send me this file,
And I thought I just put it on the pile,
And then it hit me,
Who else would have a pile filled yet to see,
Of things where in people show you how they feel?
Doesn't it sound unreal?
A pile because I need to keep it,
A pile I would love to set to fire and let lit,
But I could never,
Because these thoughts should stay with me forever,
for otherwise I wont believe,
I would aways take care of my own deceive,
So please I beg you now,
Tell me how beautiful I am until I know,
That it's real until I believe,
When I look inside the mirror instead of grief,
For the girl I once was...
Make me believe the words you say,
And I'll follow you whatever way...

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ruined the surprise

It was perfect had I saw you comming,
But that might have ruined the surprise...
So I guess I never saw you comming,
And in a way I'm kinda thankful for that,
For now I'll never be the same,
And it wasn't even all that hard,
To change a careful girl in a rebel,
To realign my mind for you,
To break my heart on every word they threw,
But it stronger,
It made me yours,
So all was worth,
And looking back,
It wasn't even all that hard,
For you and all of that for the first time,
Made my living start,
No longer I just existed,
I was finally free from all the things I used to be,
I've rewritten my history,
It was perfect if I'd saw it comming,
But that would have ruined the surprise...

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Thank you

"Stay in love,"
She said to me once,
Out of the bleu,
And I never knew,
How she had gotten the clue,
I not yet had admitted it to myself,
Yet she knew,
She saw in the way I smiled,
The way I walked and talked,
And she whispered "you have this glow,"
So I guess on my glow it's why she known,
She was the kind of woman that could make you feel,
As if you are interesting,
Like she really cared for all I feel,
And for all those little moments I thank her,
She never asked for one,
So this one's for you,
Thank you...
And I'll promise you to stay in love,
And if I ain't got a lover in my life,
I'll love myself...

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dance a little slower, singe a little louder, way of life...

Thursday, May 22, 2014

I just dont care

As the train rolled down the tracks,
I could almost feel my mind do the same, 
I was going ahead,
Moving in a speed so fast,
That I no longer could controle the thoughts I own...
I thought about war and the end of the world,
About bees dying and funerals,
About one million things,
Worth nothing or even less,
But one thing I thought about might interrest you,
I thought about you too,
About that I no longer care,
If youre smell lingers in my hair,
That my mind no longer bothers,
If the two of you remain loving brothers,
I just dont care,
I just dont care,
I just dont care,
For the first time it hit me,
Im perfectly free...

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Creative work

He said I thought of you always more as the creative work or education girl for all those deep and thoughtful creative words you post on Facebook,
And yet he doesn't even has a clue, 
Those words aren't creative at all, mostly they are quotes of people that inspire or have inspired me throughout my life,
Words with meaning that I share in the hope that someone else will find in it...
The same things as I have did, 
Or the things that I've failed to see and remain on others to be found...
And I could tell him about our little secret share place here,
When you can read every thought that I bare, 
But I don't for I don't really matter I don't care,
Why would I try to impress someone who already seems impressed by myself in distress?
I'm gonna save it up, not for him but neither for you,
I'm gonna spend it all on another love,
I will find someone like you,
And when I do I spend it all on another you...

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Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Would you have stick around?

Can you inmagine,
Just for a moment,
How you would have reacted,
If I did exactly the same things,
To you as you did to me?
Would you stil say 'hi' when you passed me by?
Could you even smile when you look me in the eye? 
Or would you be ever a worse loser then me?
I know were both not good at prossesing loss...
But I'm pretty sure you would have been done by now,
So forgive me if I am too...

Remember when

Remember when... You wisperd to me,
And you named all these memories we share,
You mentioned the time we drove around for four whole hours,
And that night that we just danced until five thirty,
When I gave you chocolate kisses,
When you held my hand for the first time,
Or when you drove me all the way to Germany across the border,
Just to eat the pizza I love,
And I replied as I walked away,
Oh that really nice for you to say,
But remember back then when I still had a heart? 
And I left you there,
Just like you left me...

I don't wanne be friends, I never wanted friends. 

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Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The universe revolving

Loving you was so all in one,
It was like I fell in love with the sun,
And had a romance upon stars,
While the moon cherished me,
And this treacherous uncompareble love was where it lead to,
And know that you have me enchanted and wonderstruc on this magic there is no more turning back,
Trying to love someone else would be like Pretending I dont know that could could this real and passionat and full of all the things I've never felt before,
I finally understand why people would cross the world to be with the one they love,
Because in a heartbeat I would trav trough universe and time,
Just to call you one more second in that tiny infinity mine,
Loving you is so all in one,
My heart is too full of you,
And thats the main reason why I cant fall in love with someone else,
Youre my world, sun and moon and the whole universe revolving around it,
If that is all you then where the hell should I look to find something thats slightly close to you?!

what I feel for you is infinite I swear it is.

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Forgot about our

I didnt got mad when you forgot about,
Our love,
Our laughs,
Our memories,
Our plans,
Our dreams,
Our trips,
Our friends,
Our promisses,
Our photo's,
Out stories,
But I did when you forgot about out friendship,
I yelled at you and you and I walked away,
We no longer speak,
And I am sorry,
For I miss little chats,
And secrets laughs,
And so many shots that we both crawl home,
I miss my best friend,
And thats all...
So I havent slept very well since the last time we talked,
I am sorry...
But I wish you felt the same...

Please dont tell a girl

I ask you one thing,
Only one thing,
Please dont tell a sad girl that she's pretty,
Or kiss her trembeling lips,
Dont brush youre fingertips across the skin when tears roll down,
And dont ever ask her if she's okay,
She might do something crazy like believe that you care,
And she might do something silly like
open up to you,
And if she's anything like me,
She might believe you when you wisper in her ears that you love her,
And maybe she's a lot like me and she and she falls for you so deep,
That will never can go back to who she used to be,
Just like I'm still trying to scearch for the old me but I cant seem to find it,
After all those nights you worked in on me,
After all the fights I was the blame to be,
I tought maybe I ask for too much it maybe I'm just not enough,
So I like to be my old self again...
Wont someone help me find it?
For the hope of love out there,
Please now I als you only one thing,
Dont let a girl fall,
I you dont intent to let her fly...
Dont tell her you love her,
If its just a lie...

Think then talk, words are the most powerful weapons we have

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The moment I knew

You didn't remember,
And I said when you found out,
Oh don't worry,
It wasn't like I waited for you,
Or like I expected you to show,
But I did, 
I'm the kind of girl that always keeps her promise,
And when I say I will wait for you I wait,
So I sat there all night,
I'm sure there would have been girls that left the minute you where late,
But I didn't,
I waited all night until I fell asleep on the sofa...
You never showed,
While you should've been here,
Bursting trough the door,
And I would have been the happiest I've ever was,
But you didn't,
And that was the moment,
My head gave up on someone who my heart should've given up a long time ago,
That was the moment I knew...

fuck you, i'm done with this...

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No more complicated theories

I've run out of complicated theories,
No more angles to look at,
Or corners in my mind I havent crossed,
No more thoughts undiscoverd,
So please I'n Talking back my words,
I'm swallowing my pride,
Prepairing for the breakdown the only thing I've ever known,
No more analysing patterns or speechless looks,
No more finding out hope theories somewhere in study books,
And I begged you take back youre words just as I took back mine,
But the only thing you take is my precious time,
I've lost it all my heart, love and soul,
And now that youre no longer speaking to me,
It feels like youre pouring salt in my cuts,
Giving me a after kick,
A burn from our last night sigarette,
You say you dont but oh how I regret,
All the things that ik have said,
All the things I've did for you,
And all the time wasted on listening to you,
Now look me in the eye and tell me why...
Why would you wanne break my perfect sweet n good n kind heart?
I've run out of complicated theories,
So now I'm giving you new words,
You're just an ass...
You're a dick,
And that will be all you ever can,
For you need me to stand youre man,
Good luck finding someone elders crazy as me,
It won't be long until they see,
Why I've found out,
Then I will e the one thing you can only dream about...
No more complicated theories,
This is all...

If you can't stop thinking about it, don't stop
working for it.

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Told me he loved me

He told me he loved me out of the bleu,
Just when I was laughing,
He looked me in they eye and told me without any reasons why,
Eventhough I always inmagined my mister perfect to say it something like that,
I had no reply,
I couldnt say it back,
The only thing I did was looking away and saying how many people say it something like that without meaning,
How I could never take words like that out my mouth,
And then I laughed at one of my friends and just walked away, 
I didnt know what else to say...
I cant give a reaction,
Or at least one with the expectations or the statisfaction that you hope for,
Im so sorry,
It doesnt mean that I dont feel the same,
Its just that I don't want to put it on my name,
So I'll say I'm sorry,
I'm so sorry,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
I am sorry...

they all like me, I'm sorry, I've got a big heart, but I don't want to lose it...

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You dont love me

I want to hear you say that you don't love me,
Instead of this bullshit you're telling,
I want to hear you say it,
And I'll let you go,
I won't call you,
I won't pass by you're house,
I'll leave you're life,
And you can forget me like you alway forget one of the grocery things,
I want to hear you say you don't love me,
If you can..?

oscar wilde quotes are to live by.

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Monday, May 19, 2014

Stop the flood of tears

In crying,
Laying in this childisch position,
All alone in my too big bed,
So I've wrapped my wheeping self,
Up in the blankets and picked a pillow,
Put it right there between my arms,
Where you would lay when you used to comford me,
I sprayed some of youre perfume on it,
So that while I cry closed eyes,
And when the tears stream down my face as waterfalls,
It will almost be like youre here for me,
Like you holding me close and youre whispering it will all be okay love,
And my ugly and stupid crying sound you would shus,
Just like you would whipe away my tears and gently hum the sound of my favourit sleep song,
Slowly cradling me to sleep in youre save and warm body,
So I'll would never cry again...
But youre not here tonight,
And nothing is allright,
Its not close to okay let along fine,
I need you here babe I need you to be mine,
Hurry up babe for were running out of time,
And I need you tonight,
I beg you stop my tears,
Fight away my monster fears,
And make it all alright...
Stop the flood of tears,
Stop my crying...
I beg you I'm dying...

feet pointing at each other

Standing there acting like we don't care,
But our feet are pointing at each other,
And I learned at school,
That you only do that when for the other you still bother,
You still have feelings,
But we always where like that,
Just conceal and make sure no one sees what you feel,
But isn't that so wrong?
When we still break every time they play our song?
We act like the other half is invisible,
But we just make rounds and rounds,
To keep coming back together,
To keep bumping into the other one,
Stumbling trough a awkward hello,
And off we go...
Darling darling don't you know,
That all I ask for is one word,
I don't need a love serenade,
Or some kind of cheesy or hopeless gesture,
I only want you to say my name,
Say it like you mean it,
Like you miss me,
Like you love me,
Cause I know that you do...
And you know it too,
So darling darling,
Let make this situation alarming,
Let go away together,
I know it's not charming,
But it's a solution for us heart warming,
Lets go,
Get back together...

our feet always pointing at each other...

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when time passes us by

It was a year ago last night,
It is a year ago that you kissed my cheek,
A year ago I took a sneak peak,
Of what we could have been,
It was a year ago,
Time flies so fast,
As fast as the speed of sound,
And a carousel that goes round and round...
And I'm getting dizzy,
Don't know what hit me,
But what if time passes us by,
You and I,
If time passes by...
Would you stay with me and just hold me,
Until the morning light?
It's already a year ago,
Funny how it doesn't feel like that at all,
Did you remember our little secret bet?
Where you there for me?
Or just to see,
For she wasn't by you're side,
And I saw the look on you're face,
When he admitted his love for me,
You got scared, as well as I,
But I'm supposed to be,
And you shouldn't for we cant,
We just cant,
I just only wanne ask,
That if years from know,
When time has almost passed us by,
And we have kids running round,
And houses with gardens and work,
And the whole thing,
When they ask about that summer,
And when they point to the pictures,
Will you please smile while saying my name,
Tell them al the crazy things we've done,
Like that time you took a midnight run,
Or when we re-played the notebook,
Or how we used to pretend to drive away to another world,
How we could dance till the morning light,
When time passes us by,
Please whisper to me a little goodbye...

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Wondering if...

As I stood there,
In the crowded room,
Smells like cheap parfume,
The smoke lingers on me now,
You'll probally on youre flight,
Back to youre home,
Youre bed,
We had a fairytale,
But fairytales dont always have happy endings no no,
We stared in there,
Gasping warm voughed up air,
Stepping on toes and dirt,
It might have been more then a flirt,
But flirts dont always lead us somewhere special do they? 
More like a black and white kind of grey,
Of grey...
Fairytales dont always have a happy ending do they,
And movies dont always turn out how you expect them too,
Life never works out just the way you planned,
Dont it?
Dont they? 

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Can't go tonight

I can't go tonight,
You probably won't be there,
But if you will,
I can't go,
It would be do wrong in numerous of ways,
For you have her,
And I'm me,
And what would we think of each other if we did show up? 
It's best we both don't,
For only want me to show to have reassurance that I will always catch you if you fall,
And I would go for the slightest bit of hope,
And I'll believe you so,
You lied to me over and over,
I'll still love you,
And I'll catch you time and again,
Cause I'd loved you then...

I'll catch you time and again, cause I'd loved you then.

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Friday, May 16, 2014

You warm me

Cold and frozen is how I feel tonight,
If had had just something to keep my warm,
But this cold this bitterness seems to come from inside of me,
My heart is frozen,
Full of snow,
Will I ever know,
Just how it feels to be save and warm?
Or does nothing ever happens,
Could it be so hard?
For a spark to fly someday,
To make a little way to me...?
My mind was always dreaming to one day have a beating heart,
To feel the blood being pumped and me getting warm,
I never could imagine that it might happen once,
That I would melt someday,
Until I met you're face,
And you're sweet laugh warmed me in a way that no scarf, hat or jacket ever had,
The ice started to turn to water,
Snow almost became rain before it fell,
And I melted to the ground,
I was searching for myself and I found,

I melted to the ground when I found you...

How cool, I just don't know how, But the snow is moving yeaahhhh! :))
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Eyelash wishes

Found an eyelash on my cheeks today,
Put it on my finger and made I wish,
And I know I shouldn't speak it out,
But this is nothing like saying it out loud,
I wished that I could read you're mind,
Yet the more I thought about it,
The more I doubted my wish,
What if I cant handle with what I find,
What if I cant handle the truth?
So I'll hope by speaking about my wish,
Maybe it will never come out,
For the tiniest littlest but of hope,
Is good enough for me..

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Thursday, May 15, 2014

I still do

If I would ever get handed the chance to say one more thing to you,
I would want to make you understand how you made me feel,
All the moments you made me laugh and feeling save and sound,
How I felt precious when you made sure i never went home alone for you stated I was worth too much to travel alone at that time of night, 
How you kept me awake not by making me curse youre name af 2 am but by making me reply all the beautiful things weve seen that summer holiday,
The way I feel butterflies and so much more when you take my hand,
And how the red on my cheeks feels when you raise youre open hands and roll me in make me dance on youre feet and make me spinning round for thats all the dancing I can do,
I'm not much for dancing but for you I do,
And I love you freckels, the rinkels when you laugh, the way youre drunkin feet tab, and you egg eating laugh, the fanta twist off cap spiller, and how you are my saver and sinner, my football winner, I love how you eyes light when you talk about youre grandpa, and the way you do youre chores, how you smell, how you drive,
I loved all of you,
And I still do,
If I had one chance I would say to you,
That after all I still love you,
I still do...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Dont you reminiss

You said to me,
Dont you remember that day,
We drove hours down the Highway,
Singing in the car,
Talking about stupid things,
And laughing about the navigation skills you have,
I still smile when I think of you saying,
"Oh I think we shouldve got a right there..."
Those are memories arent they,
Dont you remember?
And it was not really an honest answer J gave you,
But I really dont want to remember,
Because then I also think of all the promisses,
You know what the difference is between promisses and memories?
Memories stay exactly the same,
When promisses are easily broken,
Just as easy as a plastic knife,
So I'd rather not reminiss,
For then it will turn out its not you that I Miss,
It are the memories witch I stayed in love with,
Not you, and not youre promisses,
But the memories...

guitare here

Dreaming above the concrete,
When my eye was caught by this beauty,
I walked into a window,
I was just staring at this guitar,
The way it was curved,
The way it smelled,
The old strings,
I needed someone to teach me,
what there was yet the I couldn't see,
You must have been someone best friend,
Someone forgot about you,
And brought you away with the trash,
But I found you,
My guitar here,
I found you when you were lost,
And now you'll be by my side,
We'll be singing and playing together,
I'll take care of you,
Like you catch my teardrops while I play,
And we'll love each other,
Me and this guitar here...
You're my babe dear,
Oh guitar here...

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Long live...

Long live,
I wisper it soft and slow in youre left ear,
The one pointing to me,
Really as tiniest sound as possible slips out,
I'm so scared I might wake youre pretty sleeping face up,
Youre beauty and yes if,
I could just let it slip,
Would you roll on to my side,
Hold me in youre save and warm arms,
An just lay with me here all day,
From morning light to dark night,
Just you and me,
Forgetting about the world,
For I said long live,
And you asked me with you're sleepy eyes,
And a little bit of a curious smile,
What long live ment,
As I smiled as well during my reply,
Long live means that I wish you to grow old with me,
I wish you to get ugly as we will be sitting there me 80 and you 82,
And I will still e happy next to you,
While you call me all the time,
And I keep on bothering you with what did you just say,
We brush each other teeth,
And help each other shoes on,
And we'll forget our aniversery day,
We'll be smelt and old,
But we will have a life time of memories and moment we've spend together,
Thats whats real and so worth all of it,
So long live,
To all we've lived together,
And all yet to come,
Long long live,
To a love like ours this strong...
Long live will be our song...

Long live...

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Get away

Took a look at my hair today,
And realised it wasnt okay,
Look at this power you have over me,
I make myself completely free for you Naturally,
And then after all we been trough,
All I got from you,
Was this feeling so bleu,
But at least I had the privilege to say I once knew you...

Took a look around my room,
Suddenly it hit me boom,
You still have me under youre spell,
By the unthidyness I can tell,
There are things laying around everywhere like I just dont care,
But I do,
Its just I dont have time, I spend it all on missing you...

Looked inside the mirror and reflected on life as today,
Came to the conclusion that I need to get  away, 
Maybe to an asian island,
Or the australian beach sand,
Somewhere away from here,
Just a litle slip me dissapear,
Here in this town where nothing ever happens,
Could it be so hard?
To leave the memorie of you,
For a new start...

Oh I'm looking in the review mirror,
You cant get much littler,
Going back to my roots,
Just me in my cowboy boots,
No more "but's" and no more "if's",
Im doing as I wish...
In going as I wish,
As I wish...

New York, empire state view. 

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Tuesday, May 13, 2014


You could have had her,
And you could have had practically any girl,
You could have had the one with that blonde hair,
The one who talking to didn't see to matter or care,
Or even the one everyone down thought was good,
But the one you wanted was one you never could,
One that rejected you when she was becoming a lady instead of a girl at her 16th,
And now again she did when she was 18 years old,
You wanted to know if you could heat even the cold,
So you worked you're ass off,
As she gave a kiss away and lent you a date, 
And just after a few when she melted for you in faith,
You knew she was in now on you're long sad list of yes-i-could-s...
You failed her with you're neglecting the pinky promises made and they became yes-i-would-s,
And know you an have every one,
Her, the blonde, the long, and the one famous for the mattress,
But you will never have me around,
Just remember that when my grieving is trough, 
I will find another you,
When you will never have me around...

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Now you see me the movie

Ive watched it today,
For some reason I thought I might one day did watch it with you,
So I saved the movie,
But now that you seemed to be vanished,
From movie night you will be banished,
So to sound really kind of pathetic,
I watched it with my mom and my brother,
You know the one you were close to,
The one's you really liked,
He still asks about you,
Just as well as me he misses you,
You were like his hero,
An example set,
Yet for me you are only regret,
All though I have to admit,
You know me well,
When then you could tell,
That this is the kind of movie I like,
If we had watched it that night,
In the movie theater you would've earned a stipe,
Though I'm not sure you're alternative for that night wasn't quite perfect either,
The floating in the water pool,
And the warm shower we took together,
Laughing and fooling around,
Then later at that fire when you played with my hair,
And the music got closer and louder,
I promised to be you're little dog if you kept me this happy by playing with my hair and tickling my neck,
Our friends they laughed about it,
But they never had something like this,
They never knew a love so deep,
Since I couldn't get it out of my head,
Ive watched the movie today,
I didn't wait for you like I always do,
I watched it anyway...

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Monday, May 12, 2014

Crash and burn

There are black water proof mascara stains on my walls and on my light post,
I just stared at them all week,
And everytime I do I feel sick,
Sick and tired of this battle within,
Dying inside for its a battle I'll never win,
Its my heart vs my head,
A combination toxic with risks up to winding dead,
I know what I know,
And I feel what I feel,
I really do,
But I dont feel what I know and I dont know what I feel,
I'm twisted and tangled up inside,
Youre grip is too tight,
And oh youre emotional fists,
They hit me so hard leaving me black and  bleu,
Waiting there on the ground, 
To see if its killing you like it killing me,
We have a drive or die kind of love,
And no one dares to take the stearing wheel so we'll just,
Crash and burn,
And crash and burn,
And crash and burn,
Untill we learn...
Oh what I would give for you to take the wheel,
To make me feel what I feel is real,
For I'm about to lose control,
And youre the one I want in,
So won't you say you'd rather love then fight?! 
Won't you give up youre pride,
Like I'm almost about to give you up,
No more crash and burn,
This time its lesson learn,
Now or never,
Never or forever,
Drive or die,
Love it or lie,
Just know that anything other then yes,
Means no it means that you'll have to go...
Tell me then darling,
Is this one alarming?
Turn up the speed,
Drive me crazy,
Turn on the heat,
On get on with it already,
Just take the lead,
How much more clear do I need to be?
I want you for me...

Hurt me

You say all those things to me that you dont mean,
And now I cant unsee what I've seen,
You stated to have and to hold my heart,
But you just broke it apart,
While I just kept growing youre confidence,
You screwed up our future plans,
Why would you wanne break?
A perfectly loving heart?
Why would you wanne take all of me?
And trear me all apart?
Why would you want to unravel,
A girl hanging on to a treath?
Why would you wanne make me sad?
When me was all you ever had...
I stood beside the football field cheeribg for you,
I held you hand when no one else wanted to,
I fighted away youre fears and dried all youre tears, 
And I couldve done it for years,
But you broke me, crushed me, make me burn, torn me apart, shot me trought the heart, tricked me into falling in a whole you dug...
So the only question left is,
Why are you do surprised that I was dissapointed in you?
You said you would understood if I was mad or angry,
But me being hurt by you sound so weird?
You hurt me because I cared,
I cared so much that I gave you the ability to control my emotions and my feelings as well as my heart, 
I gave you the chance to hurt me,
Let my naked soul out for you to critize,
I just never ever thought that you would do it,
Hurt me...

a mirror does not know you.

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Smile again

Oh babe,
One day soon,
Its gonna hurt you,
Its gonna hurt really bad,
For it matterd,
More then you thought,
And the onces that do anything,
To stay in youre life,
Are mostly the onces you really need,
But you never saw it before,
Youre days got hard,
And from what Ive seen,
There the hardest youve ever had,
So I'll be here,
Waiting with my arms wide open,
For you to run to me,
And fall breathless to my feet,
Its allright, dont give up,
If you fall down I'll pick up,
And if you dont see,
Open up youre eyes,
And I will carry you home...
So now hold on its alright,
And If you dont see,
I'll open up youre eyes,
And make you smile again...

Long live all the magic we made...

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Between the lines

She has her eyes wide shut unopened,
You and I are always written between the lines,
And all who read you're story of the wrinkels from you're face,
Can see that the writing on the wall is all for me,
All you ever say and in all you do,
There is this almost invisible layer coming through,
The layer you try to hide and hold on to so thight,
I understand you know, its okay, its allright,
I really do get it just as well as you,
Its her that doesn't get clue,
You and I have history and yes everyone remembers,
She's a stranger a clean slate, 
She started a relationship with you without either having faith,
So now we just all wait,
Wait till you two part, and it won't be long till the ending stage will start,
She has her eyes wide shut unopened,
You and I always between the lines,
How long till we break out off the lines...
And start with words by heart...

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Stand with me in the pouring rain

The kind of fall wheather,
With rain and storm,
And changing leaves,
I love it,
It gives me the idea that the world is getting cleaned,
You know that smell in the air,
After it has been raining for hours,
Falling down as Cats' and Dogs,
It washed away the pain of yesterday,
It teaches us to dance in the rain,
For there is a lack of sunshine,
So you'll better learn how to dance,
Take my open hand,
Trough away you're coat,
Come stand with me in te pouring rain,
Let you're mouth taste the drips,
And dance along to Mother natures rain song...

When I was drowning that's when I could finally breath
+Taylor Swift quotes are the best.

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Stranger to me

It all flashes before my eyes,
The last four weeks,
How we turned from lovers,
Into friends, 
And now that we are over,
As the loving kind,
This sepperation should be easy,
But its not,
I cant help but bump my head,
Onto litlle things youve said,
Like that I'm the one you'll always think of,
And that I was a one time oppertunity,
And how you said you understand but when I got mad you didnt even understood the litllest that could?! 
And I just break my heart on the last part,
The part we went trough last night,
How can someone I used to know and love so well... Now suddenly be...
A stranger to me?
Darling, I dont recognise youre doubt,
Youre fears and youre tears,
I dont understand how you can be so strong yet always think youre wrong,
Please say something, a wisper a shout,
But you closed youre mouth looked the other way and shut me out...
And now someone I used I know so well,
Is something or something strange that I cant speak or see or tell,
How could a love so deep now be,
A stranger to me...

Never give up on you

I only went there for I hoped deep down inside,
That I would meet you there,
So I could say to you, 
That I hate that we had that fight,
And I wanted to say sorry for not saying sorry,
But then again I really thought you would speak first,
For you were the one who said that I was a lost friendship and that we should talk,
And you were the one who wanted to still keep in touch and make eyecontact,
But doesnt that seem strange,
When someone else took my place...?
No that we are over as the loving kind,
And you only look at me from you armpits behind,
Pretending that you are sniffing them but when you do I look you right in the eye,
So stop this crazy lie,
Everyone knows if you had to you would choose me,
For you said it yourself numerous of times,
So stop saying I love you to the girl you dont,
Stop saying I hate how you act to the girl you want,
For cant you see it was always me,
Ot why else cant we have a normal conversation?
Why won't one of us break the silence?
You can talk to all the other girl that you once loved like everythings okay,
Except to me,
And thats the reason she doenst like you hanging around anywhere I be,
The fact that she's so scared and the fact that you cant say with confidence that were over,
Doesnt that mean that there was never closure?
So stop bringing it up every single time we speak,
For I cant keep on giving all I have for someone who has doubts,
And I cant keep giving all I have for someone who won't give in,
Let along someone who would give up on me when I never would,
Not even when I had every reason to,
And when I easily could...
I would never give up on you...

I choose you...

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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Lucky me

I read this article on psycology today,
And it said that people who are considerd 'lucky' often only just create their own luck,
Youre never gonna find a euro on the floor if you dont look for it,
Or you will never be lucky in love if you dont want to put everything aside to be lucky, 
The fist time I read it I got happy for all my friends always say to me that I'm one lucky bastard,
But the second time I read it I got actually really sad,
Its in those words 'want to be lucky in love' its not like I dont want to be lucky in love,
Its just that I'm so afraid to get hurt that I never can let go of my insecurities en just give away the person I am deep down inside...
So eventhough I am a lucky bastard I still tend to feel unlucky,
But I'm gonna find my sliver lining in this wisdom,
Good comes to those who wait...
So I will wait for time to be right to go and find myself lucky in love and then the good will come... 

Friday, May 9, 2014

Know you like the back of my hand

Let me be clear,
I unserstand very little,
Of every person on this world,
Maybe least of myself,
You are that one person,
I know better then anyone else,
I can read you like an open book,
Know you better then I know myself,
And it's the other way around as well,
I memorized the seven ways you laugh,
The words you mumble in youre sleep,
And the wrinkels that appear when youre hiding youre tears,
And youve learned about my past,
And all the words to my favourit songs,
Youve puzzeled my heart and put back the pieces better then before,
Each day I know you more and more,
And each day you'll learn about me more and more,
I'll tell you once,
There is little I know in with world,
Even less about the people living in,
And least about myself,
But I know you like the back of my hand,
And together there is nothing we can't...

Come here and hold my hand,
Together there's nothing we can't...

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Gave away more then I had

I gave away more then I had...
In the cold dark rainy shadow light,
I even gave away the last shred of pride...
I gave away more then I had,
All the love I had, I put it all on you,
Like a gable our Russian roulette turning bleu...
I gave away more then I had,
Gave it away like it was change,
Like it's okay like this,
But it wasn't...
For you left me there,
Alone and cold and worthless,
Like a penny turned up wrong in the rain...
I gave away more then I had...
To the wrong one,
For asking love from you,
Is like asking for rain in the dessert,
Like saying you want snow in July,
Or asking what a blind man sees,
Trying to let a heartless man love...
I gave away more then I had...
And I was just praying,
Praying that you and me might end up together,
But how do you hold something that doesn't what to be held?
How do you make something happen that cant?
But it was asking for a heartless man to love...
So now I beg you,
Not to seek anything you don't want,
From me... I beg you,
As I sit down on my knees right in frond of you,
Don't seek me or anything I would offer you,
Without a price, I'd give it all away again,
Every last bit...
But please don't ask me to,
If you let me go,
I'll let you walk away,
For I gave everything to be you're anything,
Yet you look at me like I'm nothing,
I've got nothing on you...
So let me go....
Make it all too real....
I gave away more then I had...
And when he went away,
He never did return...

I would give you all my hearts...

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we almost do...

He asked me out of the bleu,
If I had brought you home,
For you were so drunk,
The you that didn't even drink that much,
That fed me wine till I begged you to stop,
We laughed en we joked,
But then you got provoked,
By this one burning question I had,
And you'll made sure I would regret,
That word I never said...

They all looked at me,
And my stumbling answer to be...
"Me? Bring him home? I think his brother did?"
Now that was a face blown hit,
It sounded so silly on their faces I could read,
That the doubt I hadn't beat...
I just mumbled on some stupid answer,
Kind of so pulled together tight like a panzer...

He laughed and said "you more drunk then him?"
No way, no way, not you, not even close to beginning,
So tell me babe, in this mess we made,
Could we both have taken too much on our plate?
Is it still possible to clean te slate?
Or we just too late..?
Oh we've made quite a mess baby,
But I cant help but wish for maybe,
Cuz in my dreams you're the one I hold,
And in my fantasy it you I see...

And I know,
I honestly know,
That every time we don't,
We almost do....

Maybe it not about the happy ending, maybe it's about the story.

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in another time...

At another time,
In another place,
Trough another life,
In another world,
In a different universe,
I could be you're girl,
I could be by you're side,
I could've hold on,
And you could've kept me,
Oh oh in another time,
I could be you're girl,
I'd keep all my promises,
Held you and my little twirl,
In another place,
We could still have space,
Keep all our love tied,
No more hiding behind,
Trough another life,
We could start all over,
Love again,
With no old flaws involved,
In a different universe,
I could be you're girl,
You could be mine,
Instead of the two that got behind,
I could be you're girl...
I could be you're girl...
In another time...

In another time we could've been together.

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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Was youre girl once...

"The girl I'm with now..."
Those were the words he choose,
"The girl... "
Like seriously I know her name,
He just cant speak it out when he's with me...
"I'm with now..."
What a joke!
Saying that while standing next to me...
If the two of you were serious then you wouldn't be saying that to me,
Then you would be sitting next to her,
Instead of spending all you're time talking to me...
Dont ya think? 
But I wish you all the luck,
At least now I know,
That I'm the girl you used to be with,
So somehow I was you're girl once...

She lost him, but she found herself and somehow,
that was everything.
Don't you just love +Taylor Swift quotes.

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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Just how broken

I felt so lonely,
So out of place,
I tried to explain,
Bit its just the case,
That they cant understand,
Cant even inmagine,
Or begin to see an image,
Let along feel,
The pain that was so real,
I bled out anger gushing,
I pushed and yelled,
And screamed and thought,
And cried some more,
They will just never see,
Hoe broken I really am,
How many scars,
Where torn,
Not only in my heart,
But all over my skin,
The smell of my sweat,
Working to live,
Still lingers on me now,
And the burning eyes,
From hours crying,
I still feel,
Just as the bittersweet taste,
Of my victory,
After countless years,
Suddenly I won,
And then my life begon...
Now all I can do is be me,
Whatever that might be...

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