Monday, December 29, 2014

Alone together.

"Why would you even like me?"
I whispered in his ear,
As I could not help myself,
But pulling back,
From this one thing worth fighting for...
"Wait" he yelled,
Grapped my hand,
Looked me strait in the eye,
And said...
"Because you are annoyingly outraguous,
Unable to do anything without coffee,
The one that has to be right always,
Never giving in, nor giving up,
You are a stubborn, chocolate eating, scared girl,
You're the one that drives me insane,
But makes me smile as if I never laughed,
You make humming sound in you're sleep,
And you love me more then you'll ever,
Could love yourself,
But most of all because my biggest wish is,
To make you see,
What I see when I look at you."
"I don't..."
"Yes, yes my dear. I know you don't know,
But you're not knowingly you,
Unable to make sure to yourself,
That you love me and we're in this together,
Loves me harder then any right minded,
Unafraid of relationships girl ever could,
I only love and need you."
"You're an idiot" I laughed as he kissed me.
But he knew what I ment.

She was so scared of being together and falling apart ending up alone,
That we decided to be alone together, forever. 






















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Saturday, December 27, 2014

Something, Maybe?

I know I m not ready,
For anything like this,
But if there is a hurry,
I would not pass the kiss,
I'd take it all,
Go for the jump,
Rather then the fall,
I'd go in the deep,
Without any safe word,
Or ropes or nets,
I'd give it all up,
On someone I had never known,
Who I might not ever know,
Someone that could have been,
On the background,
For my whole life,
You and I,
Could've passed each other,
Without ever noticing,
And now there is just,
This might be ever could have become,
A something...
Maybe.

You make me wanne be with you,
Instead of alone,
When all I love is being all by myself,
Prove my heart right,
Maybe make this something,
Our little thing.

























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Clean

I wanted to state,
That my addiction was over,
No more lost lover,
No traces left of anything,
That could tie us back together,
That could link one another,
But I am not.

I wished I where,
Kicked off in a rehab,
But I never where,
I am still hanging on,
The the littlest bit of hope,
It is not yet done.

If I where clean,
I made sure to never see,
You ever again,
For I don't want any flashbacks,
To when,
I where an addict.

If I where only clean.

If I where only clean...
But there is no escaping this world.























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Friday, December 26, 2014

Echo

There I lay,
Screaming,
On top of my longs,
But there is only,
Silence around,
Nothing notices,
These voices inside,
Of my head,
I am only,
Left with,
This echo,
Echo,
Echo,
The only voice I hear,
The only one,
Who knows,
My true self,
The only friend,
Not gossiping,
As I pretent to,
Be fine,
Act kind,
Do good,
I wonder,
If there is,
Anyone here,
To hear,
My echo...
Echo...

It echoed trough my mind,
This voice so similair to mine,
That I was giving up on someone,
That the mirror showed when I stood in front,
Someone so close but unknown. 

























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Tuesday, December 23, 2014

It makes me

She walked trough my door,
Instantly I had this thought,
I could not sleep trough,
Nor rinse of when bathing,
It stained to me like wine on a dress,
Unable to wash of just by hand,
It stayed with me,
When it should've cleared up,
From now on,
My life will be like this,
It will stay this,
Head over heels,
Fast and furious,
Hundred miles an hour,
Strange faces and places,
And everything...
From now on my life would be,
So interesting that others,
Might be more interested in me,
And in my life then I am myself. 
So I guess that make me,
The girl people read books about,
People dream about,
Or change the channel for on tv,
But most of all it makes me,
Free from who I used to be,
It makes me for te first me.

You're the kind of girl people read books about.
-- We heart it. 

















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Saturday, December 20, 2014

Need a little more 2014

I am not ready for 2015,
I need this all to be turned back,
We have to go and rewind,
Until you and I are back at,
New years eve 2013 turning to 2014,
When all our options where still open,
Where you and I had,
Conversations in which we laughed,
When we still spoke frequently,
One look at you and my day would be made,
You'd buy me drinks and joke,
And I'd listen to your secrets,
Play out or favorite movie scenes,
We would make sure the other would get home,
Dance on top of your drunkin' feet,
Eat together and reminisce,
Falling asleep in the arms that cared me,
Trough that October night holding me tight,
I am not ready for 2015,
Please, please...
I am begging you give me a little bit more,
Of when it was 2014,
Before...

I need a little more of 2014, I am not ready for 2015.























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Untouchable

Untouchable,
But still I'd reach,
Without any reasons,
Nor any ropes,
I'll let myself fall,
Unknowing if your,
Arms are willing,
To break my crashing,
Down for you.

Untouchable,
Yet to close to handle,
All I need,
And never enough,
I'll let it all go,
But if you'd only known,
How I dream about,
You at night,
Every single time.

Untouchable,
But I'd still reach,
I don't know why,
I have this urge to try,
And find myself,
Close in some kind of way,
To you,
I'm just so,
Caught up on you.

When you realize how much you're worth,
You'll stop giving people discounts.


























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My cure

As I sat there,
Next to the toilet,
In the mids of the night,
Feeling as horrible as anyone could,
I thought of you,
You would be the one,
Who'd hold my hair back,
Who'd wipe my mouth,
Hand me a towel or water,
You'd be the one,
Caring me trough the night,
Making me soup,
Putting me in the shower,
And lay me under a blanked,
Darling you know,
If you're the cure,
I'd be sick for ever,
Won't you be my cure?

You're the only thing I need...



















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Friday, December 19, 2014

It takes

It takes a lot to change a man,
But even more,
When one is scarred.

It takes a lot to change a trait,
So much more,
Then to change faith.

It takes a lot to change a person,
But even more,
When one is unwilling.

It takes a lot to change a life,
But even more,
To change lifeless fresh flesh.

it takes a lot to change a man























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Hope is a drug...

I hope you tell them one by one,
That you've messed it up,
Somehow you lost me,
I hope you still think of me,
Every single day when you wake up,
When you go to bed and in between,
I hope you blurt my name out,
Like you used to when you where drunk,
Every single night to every single girl,
In the hopes to find me,
I hope you wonder how I am,
I hope they all feel you break as they say my name,
I hope pictures of me laughing,
Make you wish you could turn back time,
I hope you still miss me,
I hope you still hope just as much as me.


Both afraid to say,
But somehow,
Always in the way...
























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Thursday, December 18, 2014

Future self.

I can feel myself,
Going back to,
A girl I knew,
In my New York,
Dancing mirror,
Smiling dreams,
Singing party,
And Laughter at noon days.

I can feel myself,
Going back to,
Some place I've been before,
Where the skies,
Are bight blue,
No clouds,
No rain,
Only clear kind of place.

I can feel myself,
Going back to,
Someone I once saw,
she inspired,
enchanted,
and brighted me up,
That one time.

I can feel myself,
Going back to the memorie,
Where I was thinking of,
Who I'd want to be in the future,
In those dreams as I looked,
In to the windows passing,
Suddenly I saw that future dream me,
In the mirror today,
Saying good morning to myself,
It was me, I could feel it.

You are, Who you are, When no one, Is looking.























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I miss you...

A year's gone away,
Time flew,
But not like then,
Time flew without memories,
No flawless love,
No enchating night,
No sparkling dates...

A year's gone away,
365 days counted,
But not as they used to,
365 days counted without...
Being accounted for,
No midnight dances in kitchen light,
No chocolate kisses,
No more pantys torn...

A year's gone away,
As if there never where,
Any other way,
A year could go by by,
A year's gone to waste,
Cause now there is,
No frizzy hair to tame,
No cold air to heat,
No soup to eat,
No fights to be fought,
No lessons to be taught,
No celebrations,
And no more collaborations,
No more diners in candle light,
No more...

A year's passed by...
And I still miss you...

 a years passed by and I still miss you,
Like a child misses their mommy,
A boy misses their toy,
I miss you...

























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Envelope

I did it,
I just did it,
Without thinking,
When she asked,
I handed it over,
My whole life's story,
And the story,
Behind the story,
My thoughts,
Memories,
Believes,
They all are,
On those 52 pages,
In that one envelope,
It's all in there,
Handed my past,
Present en future into,
Someone else's hands,
For faith to decide over it...
I'll just go home,
Thinking,
That I just did it,
I did it.

It's all in that one envelope, my past,
present and future...


















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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

How far

You where so close,
Last friday and saturday night,
I wished our eyes met,
Like they did before,
I wished we talked,
We laughed, we where us,
But there is no more of that,
The shine worn off,
Not all that's left,
Is rusted old and broken,
But someday,
Maybe tomorrow,
Maybe in a few years,
When you open up,
My debute book,
You'll read the authors note,
Saying "Look how far we've come..."
For you,
You where so close,
I was so close,
We both where so close,
To be us,
So close,
Don't you see...
How far we've come?

Someday when our lives differ, when I live somewhere
old vintage and colourfull, And you'll be what you've always been.
Excellent in whatever, Maybe you'll wonder,
Think of me, Read these words,
And realize...
How far we've come...





















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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Lucky one's

Please, Just speak out,
The words you're eyes are telling me,
For I can see what they are trying to say,
But I don't know if that's okay?
Okay with me, With my heart,
I'm just fine, But I'm scared that you'll make my heart drown,
Cause every time I look at you,
I can feel I'm falling further down,
And there is no stopping me now,
So come closer, Sweep me off my feet,
Knock me down, Pick me up,
Love me, Like you used to do,
This time please don't break my heart,
I only ask you to hold me,
A love that comes back around,
So many times is a love that has,
Never left heart nor mind,
We're the lucky one's,
Oh yes we are the lucky one's.

We're the lucky ones...





















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Mistook for me

They mistook me for her,
And her for me,
They said to me,
"How great that now finally,
You got together after all..."
But we where not,
You are with her,
Now it has been over a year,
And they mistook me for her,
Or more like her for me,
For I was there first,
For at least twelve times,
Which makes you wonder,
If that drunk night you fell in love,
Did you only fell in love with her...
... Because she looks like me?
Because you mistook her for me,
As well..?

Did you only fall in love with her,
Because you mistook her for me?






















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Sunday, December 14, 2014

People we can't have...

Somehow,
I always find myself,
In these strange situations,
Where I fall in love,
With someone I can't have,
Either they have a girlfriend,
Are ten thousand miles away,
Or untouchable for a great number,
Or other reasons,
But hey, I'm a dreamer,
So I'll be statisfied by the daydreams,
That seem so real and full of life,
That reality begins to fade,
She asked me,
"How come always you, like this,
Like never someone in reach?!
You silly.."
So sweet she thinks it's something that,
Happens to me,
Cause it's not,
It's more by choice,
I am so scared to be ready to,
Give away every secret that I own,
Give someone a look inside my heart and soul,
That I'd rather fall in love with those I can not have,
Then to try to make something out of what,
Has been there all along,
I am just to scared,
But in the end,
Don't we all fall in love with those we can't have?

But in the end,
Don't we all fall in love,
With those we can't have?























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Made by you

A new life was born,
Trough or love,
Not a birth of a child,
Nor the live in which,
You and I would stay,
Together forever,
But the rebirth,
Of the same old me,
That I had once been,
But lost somewhere,
Along this road,
Called "life",
Some bumps where heavy,
Others got smoothed,
I don't really know how,
I guess I was resting,
Stopping somewhere to,
Catch my breath or so,
That must have been,
When I lost myself,
In these 100 miles,
All of these buzzy life's,
And somehow,
Without doing anything,
You made a girl,
That didn't knew who she was,
Herself again,
I should've known all along,
But never felt like I belong,
Yet you,
Made me whole again,
Made me, myself,
So I'll just be the best version of me,
Whatever that may be.

Made in the 90's, made by you, with a dust of life,
And the finishing touch of me...





















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Only to be caught

There's this friend I have,
To call my own,
One so well known,
That I can not recall,
Her not being in my memories,
And all of my favorite stories,
Wheter it was about clubbing,
Or about going to a movie,
Late summer night talks,
Nor dining or bus rides,
She always knows how to make a night,
Filled with so much light,
I have been thinking about this,
For quite some time,
Thinking if I could make this trait,
Also one of mine,
But I think I really think,
It's not to be taught,
It's only to be caught,
And it most surely has caught my eye,
So without any reason why,
And without doubt I must say,
That in whatever kind of way,
She could make everyone's day,
It's something special just from her,
So this one's for you, thank you,
For being nothing else,
Then that what I'm fond of about you,
For being you.
















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Definitely

It was so strange,
To see without sound,
You moving around,
In this new life,
That does not include me,
Strange... Definitely.

It was so wrong,
To think without thought,
You might have bought,
Her role as truth,
Not my speaking as prove,
Wrong... Definitely.

It was so vage,
To start all over,
Like you never had a lover,
In a new place,
Where there is limited space,
Vage... Definitely.

It was so strange,
To see you go black and blue,
When I always knew,
One day you'll be losing all,
Quite a fall,
 Definitely.Strange, so strange...

Not to be part,
Of you're life,
I know by heart,
Now that you're...
Definitely.
Someone I used to know.

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Thursday, December 11, 2014

Always, My Forever.

That leaning back against the wall,
Hands in you're pockets,
Laughing in the mids of the conversation,
Every word spoken as a party,
A devious look in you eyes,
And oh darling is it even a surprise,
That you are the one that I want,
Every time...

The way you're freckels fall,
How you run your hands trough you're hair,
Long legs and skinny jeans,
A little mysterious so it seems,
Oh darling don't you hear my heart screams,
For you're the one that I want,
Always...

The red shining in you're beard,
Joking about things you take serious,
That though love act you put on,
And the dances we dance to every single song,
How I fit perfectly in you're arm,
Oh darling didn't you feel heat there's the fire alarm,
For you make me melt, the one that I want,
Forever...

Every time, I'll promise you,
Always, My Forever.

Every time, I'll promise you,
Always, My Forever.






















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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

faking

There is only one reason,
Why I am not crying on my bathroom floor,
Why my heart is not breaking,
My mind is not acing,
Well he was kind of crazy,
Got me so frustrated,
About this love so complicated,
But oh, I was madly in love...
And now with you,
I can only give you one reason,
Why I am not shattered to pieces,
Why my heart is not breaking,
The ground underneath my feet isn't shaking,
Cause you can't see this faking,
That I'm not feeling anything at all...
Not feeling anything at all...

And I'm not feeling anything at all...














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The star upon my writings...

As I was looking for something,
To write about,
To make me think again,
In a pattern of my own,
Where all my thoughts will flow,
I wondered if you ever,
Think of me,
Like I think of you,
In case you'd ever did,
I'm doing well,
If you didn't tell,
I have a smile again,
I look a lot like I did when,
I had to write,
For you where something,
To write about.

You are the star upon my writings...




















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Monday, December 8, 2014

Not rest

So tired,
Yet wide awake,
I stare,
At the screen,
Unable to dream,
You keep crossing,
My mind,
And I keep on,
Going back,
Trough time,
To think of,
What once was,
When I come back,
To here and now,
I feel so homeless,
Without you,
Not nowhere near,
To comfort me,
Tell me all will be fine,
And so it seems,
I can not catch my sleep,
I will not dream,
Nor will I rest,
Until you're mine.

You're the one, So I'll search the world for you.











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Somebody's like you...

I said to you,
"Nevermind",
Not because I do not,
Love or want you,
Because I do,
In my own way,
But because I am,
Falling in love,
With the idea of love,
I am loving,
To be loved,
I need someone to,
Need me,
Like I want you,
To want me so bad,
It's kind of sad,
That I am not falling,
For you as a person,
I am falling for,
Someone like you,
So what am I supposed to do,
When there are so many,
Somebody's like you...

I know I've misbehaved,
I know I should've saved,
Our friendship instead of my ego,
But I really am sorry,
For what it's worth...

















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Friday, December 5, 2014

Enough for both of us

Can you tell,
I can not say,
What yo need to hear,
When they come near,
I'm so sorry,
Don't worry,
I was wrong,
I must admit,
We belong,
I regret,
I was not,
Strong enough,
For both of us,
But I've got enough,
Love for both,
So baby,
Won't you please stay...?

Let's go back in time and make you once again mine.





















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Individual self.

Just now as I was reading the most doll thing,
Something so unrelevant,
I don't know how and why,
But I suddenly got unreaveld,
And sewed back together,
I don't even know whether,
It was wrecked and restyled,
But in the vintage kind of way,
I was so self-assured again,
That someday soon I'll be fine again,
I will recognize myself in the mirror,
I'll be able to smile and laugh like I used to,
I could do anything I want,
Because nobody's telling me I can't...
I suddenly saw,
That now that we've broken up,
I no longer have to work and try and fight,
To be one half of a relationship,
I can be my orginally and individual self,
My one and only me,
Is the only thing I am ought to be,
For the first time in 362 days,
I am finally free.

I think I am finally free.





















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Decembers when you where mine.

Please take down the ribbons now,
I don't want to feel like celebrating though,
Cause everything i'd wish is miles away,
In a little dark cold town,
My momma's in the kitchen, talking to me,
Season songs, Playing well,
I was doing just fine,
If you ever wonder,
But last night I couldn't tell,

I know this shouldn't be a missing time,
But there where Decembers when you were mine,

I've been doing great without you, honestly,
Up until the days got dark,
Now everybody'g gathered, without you babe,
Seems like everyone's got someone to love,

But for me it's just a missing time,
Cause there where Decembers when you were mine,

Happy days everybody,
That must be something that you'll say this time,
I bet you got you're brother another jacket,
And was you're mommy laughing out loud?
When you where buying gift this year, 
Did you notice when less to ask advice?

I know this shouldn't be a wheeping time,
But there where Decembers when I didn't,
Wonder if you wonder about me,
Cause there where Decembers when you where mine...

Cause there where Decembers when you where mine....
















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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Not a choice

There I stood again last night,
Almost as if I where drown to it,
Right there on the corner where we met,
I was looking around,
Hoping for a glance on you're face,
But it was odd, out of place,
You're presence was no where near,
After I called out my dear,
I wish you would have come,
Oh how I hoped to see,
That maybe or eventually,
We could still be anything like,
Who we used to be,
You and I had something,
Magical, orignial, lyrical, hysterical,
And I hate how we let it there,
We should've fought,
We should've stormed,
So won't you come,
Next time I call out,
When we are supposed to be drown?
Or did you forget...

Sometimes love just happend, we didn't intend to,
but oh we did, and I fell in way too deep. 






















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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Muse or abuse

As I was screarching for something to write about,
You popped up in my mind,
I could write about you,
But then wouldn't you become some sort of,
Muse that I tend to abuse,
The doll I only pick up to play with,
When nothing else is there to entertain me,
Some sort of last resort to turn for inspiration,
It sounds so low, But when it's like this,
To you I'll go...
Somehow you are so much more,
Then I remember every time I sneak out you're door,
In someway I just never dare to stay...
As I was scearching where I should write about,
You came to my mind,
I could write about you,
But then what does that say about me now?
If you'd only known,
That you're the reason for many,
Many of my best works,
For those thoughts about life and meaning,
Instead of the girly in love dreaming,
You've gotten so much more to hold,
That in these words I get told,
But it never sticks to my mind,
As it does to the paper or screens,
And so it seems,
That you can no longer be my muse anymore,
For I don't want to be the abuser...
I am sorry, for turning you into a story.

I am so sorry but I must confess my muse, I don't love you,
Like you do love me, I am sorry for making my muse abused,
I am sorry for making you a story.
Beautiful pic by +Farida L 























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Sunday, November 30, 2014

Missed you.

I've missed you today,
It was sure I would not pass you're way,
And so I missed you today,
No soccer to watch,
No wine to drink,
No walking shoes,
And no shopping spring,
Not even a come near,
Nothing of it all my dear,
And so I've missed you today,
It was sure we did not crossed our way,
Did you miss me today?

If I got a smoke for every single time I miss you....




















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we'll meet again

I walked trough the door,
Cold winter air floated in,
It smelled like a warm christmas inside,
I remember you holding my hand tight,
Not this time though,
You where on the other side of the bar,
You're green brown eyes flashed across,
Looking for mine, as you lost you're mind,
And as you walked towards me,
I knew you could see,
What I've saw coming for so long,
And in that moment,
You felt what you fought you had forgotten,
You forgotten how to love,
But you fell than and there that second,
I smiled because I saw,
And you're eyes,
Had never smiled so bright,
Right into mine,
We walked trough the door,
Warm christmas air floated out,
You where holding on tight.

I honestly believe we will, and it will be just like I imagined. 
















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Last christmas

Last christmas,
I've spend thinking of you,
But not this year,
I am working on it now,
I will not drown in the punch,
Like last time,
I don't only want to be,
A shoulder to cry one,
I deserve to be someone special,
Not a give away,
So save me or give my heart back,
Last christmas,
I've spend it all on you,
But not this year,
I won't be anything like,
I've changed,
Since,
Last christmas,
This year,
Won't be anything like,
Last christmas.

I'll make sure to finish perfect without you.




















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Break my heart slow.

As I looked trough the photo's,
Listened to the old songs,
Watched the vid's we made,
Recollected my memories of you,
I broke my heart on the one,
That one thing we never shared,
We never had a goodbye,
And in the bye we said,
I can surely say was no good,
If you had one been mean,
If you had only spoken you're mind,
If you had not lied to me,
My heart would have been broken,
So many days ago already,
But I was spending those nights,
Laying in bed alone,
Thinking we're still together,
I'd rather had you letting me know,
That we did not survived this last storm,
It blew us away,
But babe don't ever dare again,
To break my heart,
Slow.

Don't break my heart slow...





















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trying to find my way

As I was trying,
To find my way,
To understand,
Why I could not,
Set myself to do,
The things that needed,
To be done,
I realized that the thought,
Of having much to do,
Weighted more the,
The doing itself,
So I have forbidden myself,
From now on,
To do more then three things,
For school or work at a day,
And ironically,
I do more now then ever,
I get better grades,
And I only give,
Half the effort and time...
So I would advice anyone,
Spare you're time,
On what makes you,
Truly happy and beloved,
And then you'll have,
All then energy you need,
It will come floating all by itself.

I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world... +Taylor Swift
















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Friday, November 28, 2014

Without safety net

Was think
ing about you today,
About this date last year,
About our fighting and kissing,
The screaming and dreaming,
Oh what a night it was,
Both not sure what to say,
Wheter we should stay or walk away,
I said it is you're last chance,
But you needed time,
I said you couldn't get anymore,
That I was going crazy like this,
That it was either yes or no,
And nothing in between,
But she had gotten to you already,
Yet in the months passing,
You and I still kept growing closer,
And that one last night we shared,
We just jumped in no safety net,
For you the jump was only something,
Like a once upon a time when I was young,
Yet you just let me fall,
Dying to hold you,
So won't you dare to make me go trough,
Something so wrong to,
Again...
Don't you look in my eyes,
Don't come close,
Walk besides,
Cause I know I'll fall in love again...
And I just keep on begging the skies,
to bring you back to me,
So don't look at me now,
When I'm still waiting for you...

Don't look at me when I still hope you're waiting for me...
















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Wonderland

Like a stone to the head,
I took it hard,
Fell to the ground,
In the worst kind of way,
Hit rock bottom,
No one was there,
All those who I used to call friends,
They all vanished,
No one had time,
But when I was in wonderland,
They never let go of my hand,
Only when I had,
The acces to wonderland,
Life was worse but so much better,
When my words where only a scarlet letter,
Now all depends on,
What they think of me,
What they want me to be,
How I should behave,
They reward of punish me with their attention,
But I won't play this game no more,
I'll build here on my own,
On the rock foundation,
A own wonderland,
For only me and those surrounding me on,
This hard hard ground,
A pass to go and get a free dance around,
In my beloved and hated wonderland,
Wonderland, land, land....

All the pages of us, stories we shared,
I'll burn it all,
I'l make my own wonderland,
Where you can't,
Touch me now.
























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Thursday, November 27, 2014

Like a piece of art

She looked stunning,
As always enchanting,
Like a piece of art,
So devine,
So pure and rare,
She was always perfectly perfect,
Her make up was spotless,
Het hair always done,
Nothing was ever wrong...
She looked truly happy,
She was blessed so well,
Had all the men under her spell,
Unfortunetly,
She herself could not see,
What I wish she would,
As she stares clearly trough me,
Always looking for me,
But darling all he ever does is break you're heart,
Wait until all falls apart,
Then you are left picking up the pieces,
He left behind,
You'll cut you're fingers on cleaning his mess,
But I guess what they say is true,
The only one who can heal you is the one,
That broke you off as well,
I watched her confidence got scattered when he left,
And her walls raised so high the lower the one,
The higher the other,
He was killing her softly in love,
He was killing her softly out of love,
Whatever it was,
It's over now...
She looked stunning,
As always enchanting,
Like a piece of art,
But not one of those colourful,
One of a mystery,
One in black and white,
One to make you think,
Cause after all that's what art does,
It make you think of it, think of cherising it.
But he never does,
So I'll wait until the day comes,
When she realises that I was always by her side...

she was the kind of girl that was always enchanting. perfect, like art.





















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Paperback writer part 5?

I did It today,
Packed the pages,
Send It away.

It is kind of strange,
That someone will take,
My place in reading,
Everything my soul speaks,
My my toughts fill the page,
When my heet leaks ink,
When hand and heart are in sink.

It is somewhat off,
Like believing in above,
Honing so much,
That all I wish for,
Wont get crushed,
That I will not get rejected,
That they will be infected,
By my words like XTC,
Every part of me.

I did It today,
Packed the pages,
Send It away...

Packed the pages, send It away...



















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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

That's when I miss you

He asked me,
"Do you miss me?
Cause I miss you,
And I was wondering,
If maybe we could get coffee,
I don't know if you want,
Or if you don't, 
Just tell me when you miss me,
If you do,
Then I'll come,
Cause I'll be waiting for you..."
And I said,
"Every time the doorbell rings, I hope it is you,
Every time my mom yells Carmen there's someone for you,
I hope you are waiting for me downstairs,
Every time I go out shopping, I hope to get a glance of you're face,
Every time my phone buzzes I hope it you, sending me a message,
Saying you'll miss me,
Every single time I breath,
That's when I miss you,
Thats when you can come,
Thats when in,
Every single moment,
Thats when I want you..."
His crooked smile pulled me in,
Kissed my forehead,
And held on tight,
We're not about to lose this thing,
So rare and pure again,
Never.

You're always there in my mind, you never left.





















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By my side

Had a though night,
Wished you by my side,
No one appeared,
No sky cleared,
Only me troubled,
In this doubled,
Life we live,
Not show what to give,
Not see what to love,
Acting above,
You walk over me,
Like it's not to be,
But you come running back,
When your nights black,
So where does it leave me?
Had a thought night,
Wished you by my side,
You never showed,
I should've known,
That you bad news,
But I like the fews,
Thought no way he's coming,
Until I heard running,
Knocking on my door,
You screaming for more,
I had a troubled night,
But it was nothing with you by my side.

Just in time always on my side...

















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Anything anymore

All was silent,
All was still,
Not a sound to be heard,
Not the wisthle of a bird,
Time kept ticking,
And thoughts kept thinking,
Not a footprint to leave behind,
Not an mark to be find...

All was dark,
All was night,
Not a light to be seen,
Not a lanternpost to lean,
Time keeps drifting,
Thoughts keeps stinging,
Not a heart to beat,
Not a car on the street...

All was silent,
All was still,
Not a sound to be heard,
As the world came to an end,
Nothing was as we knew it before,
Nothing was anything anymore...

My bones are not dirt,
They are a soulless house,
Where once was lived,
My bones are not dirt...























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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Face the fact

After 365 days and nights,
I've spend lonely,
Waiting by the phone,
For you to call,
Sitting near the door,
For you to knock,
Waiting by you're side,
For you to put aside you're pride,
I came to the conclusion,
That trough all these things,
I've gave up for you,
All the love and time invested in you,
There had never been a day,
Nor will there come a day,
365 nights aways,
Where you would do,
The same things as I did for you,
You would never give me a chance,
Cause I was never in you're future plans,
It's time to face the fact,
My waiting for you my love pact,
And my heart will no longer be intact,
I let it all fall apart,
For someone new to puzzle me,
Back to who I used to be...

After 365 days and nights I am still waiting for you...

















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Sunday, November 23, 2014

Change the world

Sometimes,
Late at night,
I wonder to myself,
Just like anyone else,
I assume,
What I would be like,
When certain events,
That took place in my life,
Or did not happen,
Would have been differently...
But I think that's just the way,
Life goes,
Some things are ment to be,
What they are to be,
Others are to be changed,
And just few are to be chosen,
Perhaps personaly,
Or maybe by faith,
Sometimes,
Late at night,
I wonder to myself,
Would I have been,
Such a thinker as I am now,
If they had not made me one?
So last but not least,
Some things are in life to be made,
And I am to be, changed, made and chosen,
To be foolish enough to think,
That words can change the world,
That we can save the world,
And therefor I will.

I think I can change the world with my hands,
Not by fighting but in writing.
















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Saturday, November 22, 2014

Winter wonderland

Christmas time is coming,
Thinking about you and me,
Everything we could've been,
All the nights side by side,
We we're lights all by ourself,
Did not need any power to enlight,
By the look of you I ignite,
If I could hold you just one more time,
I would put you and me,
Together in a little snow globe,
And until christmas is coming,
We would be packed in a box,
Standing on the addict,
Far away from the cold cold world,
Just you and me,
In our winter wonder land,
We'll spend countless nights,
Spooning side by side,
Watching the snowflakes fall by day,
If you'd only stayed...
All there was to do, 
All I needed from you,
Was for you to,
Stay. 

Let's make a winter wonderland together,
Watch the snowflakes fall.






















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Friday, November 21, 2014

London on new years eve...

On new years eve,
I'll be in London,
The lights and the fire work,
The cold air and the buzz,
Crumbling city,
Me in the middle,
I can not wait...

On new years eve,
For once it will be,
All and only about me,
I will be having a laugh,
So grand and big,
It will not fit on our party pic...

On new years eve,
So it shall be this night,
As the twelve passes,
As we raise or glasses,
I will be the biggest light,
To light up the skies...

On new year eve,
I will shine so bright,
It will still shimmer on our,
Home flight...

New years eve in london... fireworks :)















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I'm wide awake

Wide awake,
I'm wide awake,
Laying in my bed,
Thinking about this insomnia,
I realised that I finally,
Have found the answer,
To a long lost question of mine,
For years I wondered if I was,
A high sensitive child,
I took numerous of tests,
And they all where inbetweeners,
So that's pretty undecided decided...
Yet tonight I made it a yes.
There had been three excited things today,
One has happend already,
One is about to happen,
And one is plannend,
So here I lay now at 00:39,
Wide awake in my bed,
Thinking about all these thing,
I am unable to sleep,
Because reality is so much more exciting,
Then my dreams tonight ever could be,
At 00:40 and on and on,
I will remain awake,
Wide awake...

I'm wide awake, +Katy Perry quote.

















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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Real life John Green book

Never does my mind stop dreaming about places I've never been to,
I am always drifting off inside my head wondering what...
My one and only favourite place in this wide world would look like,
How it would smell as I gasp for air,
When I've found the place that until now remained a no where,
After years of searching when I see it there,
This place so special, breathtaking, rare,
Would I know right away? Like love at first sight,
Or will it be more of a something my mind won't let go off thing?
Like a out of sight but never ever out of mind kind?
I really have no clue all I do know it that on new years eve,
One of the city's I would love to see will be on my list,
Maybe it will be my one and only belonging,
The place where my heart skips a beat as a "finally home sight",
The one you get after a long time away when you walk in the door...
I guess I'm just a John Green book in person,
Cause "I'm love with places I've never been to and people I've never met..."

In love with places I've never been to,
Like a real life breathing John Green book...






















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Thank you

I always wondered what it would be like,
To be someone who would write,
Things that others like to read,
Or even love to,
Can't stop reading,
Or re-read all the time,
Every single word on the paper,
The poems on the screen,
The pictures that I post,
It came to my attention,
That this dream I once had,
This longing to hold,
A story to be told,
Is now to be called,
Mine.
I am the paper bag writer.
And,
I'll write my own story now,
Fill the pages,
With my minds own creations,
All I wanted you to know,
What I wish you would now,
"Thank you..."
For making me believe,
That dreams come true...
I .... you.

Thank you for making me do, and teaching me,
what I thought you needed to be thought,
I my believing in you I forgot te believe in me,
And somehow you turned it all around...

















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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Give me some answers

Just this afternoon as I was at work,
Suddenly my mind floated off,
I found if around the corner,
Of my bedroom when I got home,
As I tried to put my finger on why?
It was there to be found,
After all those hours lost,
It catched my eye,
Something orange brownish was laying there,
It was one of my old dairies,
The one you once had read,
When you told me,
That I should not hide this pure part of me,
It was my obbligation to myself to see,
What I could be,
As a writer or a poet,
You knew for sure,
That my name would be written in the stars,
But what if only I,
Can write it up there in the sky...?
I don't know if the climb is to high,
If the rush might be worth the fall,
And if I lose balance,
Will you catch me?
Or will I fly?
I was happy to have my mind back,
But if it had only given me some answers....

I am gonna take on this adventure if you'll stay around to help me...





















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The best thing on my mind

This life I live,
It has this blur,
All around it's surface,
I guess I have an...
Three hundred mile a hour life,
I get snow under,
Caught up,
Overwhelmed by,
Relationships,
Friends,
Work,
Meetings,
School,
That I forget the best thing,
On my mind,
You.

If this love only exist in my dreams,
When my mind is silent and pure,
Then I beg you don't wake me up...






















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