Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Automatic

I was trying so hard,
To move on,
Just as fast,
As the train was,
Rolling down the tracks,
But I was more,
Like caught up,
By this passing by,
Weighing out the try,
I was boiling faster,
With my cooked up head,
Then the steam was calling,
From the oven...
I stumbled on to everyone,
Even my own feet,
As I was stumbling,
On corners in my mind,
I had never seen before,
I honestly tried to lock it all out,
But just as the doors,
To the bus open and close,
Automatic,
My heart makes a jump,
Whenever it sees you,
There is always,
A first class seat for you,
Left open,
Reserved,
Yet we didn't speak,
The words between us,
Where silent whilst screaming,
My ears are bleeding,
From the white noise,
But I'm happy,
I made the choice,
For once the decision,
Was mine to make, to take,
Or to let my heart break,
It was up to me.

It seemed like the hardest thing to do, but I'm shining without you.















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Monday, April 27, 2015

Present.

No confetti,
No music,
Nothing left,
Sound is silent,
Wind lays low,
As we go,
Leaving,
Nothing,
Behind us,
I tend to,
Look back,
Turn around,
Glance at...
My review mirror,
Yet as you,
Squeeze my hand,
I realise,
There is no amount,
Of care, regret, doubt,
That can ever,
Change my past,
The only thing,
That I have,
Now that I,
Broke free,
Is the chance,
To make by my own actions,
The presence I,
Love to be in,
And my present,
Is you.

Confetti falls, when the wall crumbles...




















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Secretly dreaming

Secretly dreaming,
About you,
Or so I thought,
But said just now,
All these people,
'Look at his girlfriend',
With a crooked laugh,
And I just,
I didn't know,
What you where,
Trying to say...
Am I too honest,
Or deep, or sharing,
Or maybe just too myself,
To be just a friend,
You talk to every,
Once in a while?
Cause now I feel,
Like I should be secretly,
Dreaming about,
Talking to you,
For I honestly,
Love these topics,
We can talk about...
But if you don't,
My pall,
You're statement was,
Cristal clear...
I won't bother you,
No longer my dear...

you made me so sure all your dreams can come true...
















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Sunday, April 26, 2015

Just begun

A shy cry came out tonight,
She just walked off table,
But it got to the light,
I wonder if she sees how relatable,
We all think it is,
We all have someone we miss,
God knows we all have to make,
Choices that break,
Someone else's heart...

A shy cry came out during diner,
She closed right away,
Re-did her eye liner,
She went on and took a stray,
Without a word,
Without a sound,
God knows sometimes it's just a flirt,
Yet he fell to the ground,
In tears she drowned...

A shy cry came out as she spoke,
About the choice she made,
The feelings she provoked,
When she went on another date,
I wonder if she sees how good,
We all think it is,
She finally found the right kiss,
God knows we all should,
Try to find the one,
That makes us feel as if life has just begun...

She found herself as she stumbled over him. 





















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Saturday, April 25, 2015

Call on me

Am I to call myself a poet?
Now that others call on me,
As a poet,
Am I to see myself as a writer?
Now that others see me, 
As a writer,
Am I to adress myself as artist,
Now that thy adress to my work,
As art? 
Am I worth more then before,
Now that others value me,
Better? 
Am I to see things in perspective?
Now that I am in yours? 
Cause deep down,
I've always known what you,
Have come to find out just now,
Yet the difference between you and me,
I don't need your glasses,
Or opinion to see,
That I am what I am to be,
So I don't your voice,
To tell me I am a poet,
Darling, it's not a choice...
You either are or aren't,
I am to call myself a poet,
Cause I feel inside my soul,
I am a poet as whole.

your a work of art.






















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Forgot

Last evening,
I couldn't start believing,
That just for a moment,
In the blink of an eye,
Maybe less,
I forgot about you,
I had truly, honestly,
Forgotten about you,
No worries on my mind,
No stuggles within to find,
The demons where fought of,
My heart was fine,
Even now your not mine.
Last evening,
I couldn't start believing,
That just for a moment,
My heart,
Was no longer broken.

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The notebook.








Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Goodbye, or goodnight.

Midnight at sunday,
Not so sunny,
As we meet,
The rain inside me,
Feels pouring down,
You meet my eyes,
I feel your burning,
As I have the desire,
To talk to you,
But we can't,
Somehow we seem to,
Always rearange,
Just so much untill,
We do bump into the other,
You start a polite conversation,
I ask 'bout work and family,
There you've got it,
The first thing I see,
It's passed one thirty,
We're the last to leave,
Just two old lovers,
Stroweling down in lantern light,
When I turn around,
Cause I know I should,
Say goodnight,
So does the conversation,
You keep on bringing up,
Talking topics,
Until you find one,
I'll have to respond to,
Silently screaming,
We're set up next to,
Your or mine place,
In between the sleeping houses,
Of our little town,
You keep on going on,
Bout things no longer,
In our hands to change,
You forget the name belonging,
To this face,
But the memories,
You always get right,
The memories don't fade,
I feel myself getting sad,
I really thought I had,
The strengt this evening,
Before I left,
To say goodnight,
But I honestly,
Can't ever find a reason,
To say goodbye,
I have to know the reason why,
In order to say to you,
Goodnight...
Why can't I ever,
Say goodnight..
If you're reading this now my dear,
I hope you sleep tight,
Tomorrow when you wake,
I wish you had a,
Good night.
Cause it's about time,
Either one of us,
Once before watching,
The rise of sunlight,
Got a goodnight.

I'm still here waiting for you... Watching you as I hear you say,
Goodnight, when seeing you leave is a nightmare.






















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World earth day.

World earth day making my way,
Down town today not in a car,
But by bike I see others walking,
Smiling and talking,
The sun is shining,
What a little name does to our crazy minds,
Every single day it is world earth day,
For years she has been,
The only lover,
Saving our souls,
Holding our hands,
Feeding us, providing us,
Time and again,
All we give in return is one day?
With a crazy name...
World earth day.
I dare you to,
Make tomorrow,
And next week,
The whole month,
World earth day,
Over and over again,
I dare you to,
Pee under the shower,
So you save 6 liters or clean water,
I dare you to not get a plastic bag,
When your shopping,
I dare you to turn off all lights tonight,
And keep the tv remote far away,
So finally you listen,
To what you partners been waiting to say,
I dare you to turn the heater lower,
And pull on a sweater instead,
I dare you to think before you act,
I dare you to shake my hand on this pact,
So we can make world earth day,
Worthwhile to our stay.

World earth day 2015.
You've got the whole world in your hands.






















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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Let the world spin equally.

Wasting the world,
We are,
Wasting the world,
On cheap perfume,
And drunkin' laughter,
We are wasting the world,
On Facebook likes,
And posters saying,
"Save the earth",
Most of our efforts,
To try and make things right,
Are damned to never seize,
The sunlight,
We keep it hidden under covers,
Scared to admit of tell,
We have plan bigger then,
We shared with our...
High school lovers,
Tell me now,
Is it such a sin,
To let this world begin,
To once again spin,
Equally fast or slow for anyone,
Does my money,
Or your SuperTrash,
Does your status or,
Your cause make your worth,
Anything more,
Or anything less,
In this world,
That's already a mess.
A broken hearted teen girl,
Could plainly see,
This is not the way,
The world should be,
We are ought to get bolder,
Wiser, beloved and Older,
But we don't seem to use,
The cleverness we learn in our books,
We are so smart, so bold,
But absolutely clueless,
We're all in this alone,
And all in this together,
So together alone we stand,
But is seems alone together,
Is more the hand we lend. 

Where is this world going to?





















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Monday, April 20, 2015

Dedicated to all 2 A.M. lovers.

Every single line,
Is yours not mine,
It rarely says,
What I think,
The bloody ink,
It more often speaks,
Of the reasons,
My eye leaks.

Every single song,
I've ever wrote,
Is for someone,
The sound of the note,
Sounds like the load,
Of emotion it awakes,
When it takes,
Away my soul.

Every single word,
Turned into a chord,
Leads me to shiver,
It makes me feel,
All unable to be told in person,
These thoughts so real,
Vowels taking a run,
The rhyming has begun.

Every single poem,
We state to write,
For no one,
Had been known,
To be for our 2 A.M,
When you read,
The words I so carefully,
Selected,
Do you bleed?

At their sharp sting,
Or do you thrive,
To be part of my scars,
Blaming you,
For leaving me neglected.

Every single song,
Is written for some one,
Even if I swear,
Their not about you,
They always are,
Words don't come from,
Vague and empty air,
They form only when I care.

From everyone here,
You are my dear,
Still my favourite muse.

So on will I write,
With the despite,
That nothing,
Not even a fingertip,
Of yours lingers,
On my journal today,
Tomorrow,
In my sorrow,
So one I write my love song,
For no one.

Your my 2 A.M. - Carmen Verduyn.





















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Marry me?

Last night I dreamed of a parallel universe,
Where you and I where just fingers,
To be given from one ring,
To another,
To bound them forever,
So ironic, this clever switch,
Giving them a chance,
To hitch,
I suddenly saw,
You're fingertip flash,
Next to mine,
You where the one,
Holding on,
To the ring besides me,
And we where to be,
A lovely and marry,
Couple of fingers and rings,
it ws only the beginning,
Of that what is bound,
To become,
Undone,
If you won't ever come,
To an universe,
Where,
We could still be,
Us my dear...


Marry me? 

















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Sunday, April 19, 2015

Shocking.

Salty skin,
I'm breathing in,
Perfume scent,
Darling I can't,
A sin so dark,
Not even the moon,
Dares to light up,
My room,
I was wishing,
For clean slates,
Floating light plates,
But wishfull thinking,
Only gets you,
So far,
Walking on my toes,
The way it goes,
As our eyes meet,
I whisper to you,
"Stay",
I can feel your foot,
Stoking against mine,
Tangled feet,
This is the way,
We begin,
The darkest of sin...
So easily,
By letting someone,
Come in,
Without knocking,
So shocking...

I want someone not easily to lose intrest.
























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Friday, April 17, 2015

You-to-be

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Thursday, April 16, 2015

Stayers

Playing in back,
I can remember,
Me promising him,
I'd be there forever,
I'd stay.

Playing it back,
I can remember,
you promising me,
You'd be there forever,
You'd stay.

Yet in the way,
I left him,
You left me,
Just to be,
Changed.

Now here we are,
At this place,
Where he'll be asking,
And I am wondering,
I can hear him and myself,
The both of us,
Promising that we'll stay,
We'll be each others stayers,
When the screams in my head,
Keep on yelling,
Darling who 'r betting on?
Who'll be the first to say goodbye?

Stay, stay, stay, until you no longer may.












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Literally.

You got into me,
Then left me,
I don't mean,
The "into me",
Kind of "into me",
I mean you literally,
Got into me.

When we kissed,
You crawled into my mouth,
Made your way to my stomach,
All I could taste for days,
Was you.

When we laid so close,
Side by side in bed,
I could breath you in,
You got to my lungs,
And when you left,
I was breathless,
Cause your my air...

As we talked nights,
Till dawn see the stars,
Until the sun appears,
You taught me,
Only a million things,
You intrigued me,
Tricked me,
Into believing,
Your words so manipulative,
Without thought,
To you my mind I give.

When you told me,
About your secrets,
Hopes and dreams,
You touched my heart,
And took it over,
Part by part,
Now you have my heart,
Hostage.

You got into me,
Literally,
When all I want,
Is for you is to leave,
Cause I no longer believe,
In what we share,
I lost every fuck I care,

Get out of me,
Sincerely.

The girl I used to be.

You make me laugh, but it's not funny.


















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Holding mine.

Over over a year ago,
That a long time,
But not nearly enough,
To make me forget,
That I am not supposed to,
Light up, to laugh,
Whenever I see your pretty face,
I can not watch over,
When you walk with that grace,
I am to be bound,
Only by the haunt,
Of the memories you left,
When you went and get gone,
With my heart,
Your master theft,
Now I am in my room,
Alone and dark at 2 A.M,
Asking, wondering, re-playing,
What you would be saying,
Us dancing in the rain,
Singing don't stop this train,
You and I,
Stopping for a snack,
Down that street at the mac,
The drinks and the movies,
The winks and the grooves,
All these summer nights,
Now are my biggest frights,
I am so scared to fall,
For someone the same way,
I fell for you,
Cause darling, 
I can not handle another broken heart...

I pretend your hand is holding mine, all the time.
























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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Perspective

It only took,
A million steps,
To have taken,
A million steps,
It only takes,
A little effort,
To have taken,
A little effort,
That,
This right here,
Is how realization works,
How you should look,
At possibilities,
At problems,
At life,
It's just what it is,
You can make it,
Unfair,
Call out dispair,
You can think,
It's out of our hands,
But it all comes down,
To perspective,
If you think you will never,
Gain more to life then this,
I'll bet you never will...
The way you look at life,
Is they way,
You live life.

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Monday, April 13, 2015

Neonlights

We joked around,
Nothing to bound,
No emotional scar,
Just a kiss in a car,
Nothing like you,
Nothing I had to do,
It was a moment,
One to be lend,
I tried to reach,
Without a preach,
As I saw,
A crow,
Flying by,
Wondering why,
I found myself,
In thyself,
I asked thy,
If thy where free,
From all we used to be,
But does one ever?
Become so clever,
As to ease the pain,
By leaving the game?
Thy hardly even know,
It's an option to go,
We joked around,
Seemed nothing to bound,
But these emotional scars,
We keep them in our drawers,
Stached in jars,
It seemed,
It really seemed different this time,
It seemed.

It seemed a joke, yes it did, oh yes yes yes...

















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Sunday, April 12, 2015

Butterflies surprice.

Sun is raining down on me,
Seeds are growing by the beams,
I can feel your laughing,
Do feel the way I do,
Just now?
Breathing as if nothing changed,
No more broken heartbeats,
I pretent that I don't care,
When I can't preach,
Not to reach now,
So darlin, won't you,
Make me feel these feels,
Cause it won't ever get grey,
Not in my mind,
I'll save it warm,
But serve it cold,
So it won't ever get old,
I'll lock it in my heart,
If you will,
Keep on,
Keepin me...
Can you feel me laughing?
By your butterfly surprice.

Butterflies. Surprise.


































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Friday, April 10, 2015

babylon.

I don't think I'll go to Babylon anymore,
I don't think I'll ever go to Babylon anymore,
I won't ever go to Babylon anymore,
I just think I'll gonna stay here,
Lonely sheets cover my lonely bones,
Emptiness fills the empty space,
Where I used to watch your face,
Now where ever you go,
Where ever I flow,
Where ever we are,
I'll watch a blurred line,
A fake shrine,
Of picuters and quotes from,
Places where there are no heart,
Only updates, and posts,
Cause I die when I do so,
And I die not to wonder,
When I wonder to die...
 So I don't think I'll go to Babylon annymore,
I don't think I'll ever go to Babylon anymore,
I won't ever go to Babylon anymore,
I can't ever go to Babylon anymore.

I just dream of paradise.
















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Thursday, April 9, 2015

As if I where floating,
Above myself,
I could see,
All around me,
Suddenly,
So clearly,
I had no distress,
No blurred lines,
No impaired vision,
Only a decision,
To be made,
By more the feelings,
Worth and faith,
Who would be the one?
That would make,
My life feel,
As if it had only,
Just began? 
Clarity,
Worked against me,
While gravity,
Tried to pull me down,
Once again,
It was just then,
When you walked,
Into the room,
That I fell into,
Your arms,
Nothing too soon.

Roses are never too soon.
























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Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Together alone.

Laying in bed,
Staring strait ahead,
Thinking 'bout,
What I would say now,
If I had the chance...
I'd ask you,
If you where sleepy too,
Wheter you'd come over,
To lay here with me,
Next to be,
To be silent and still,
Together,
Just do nothing,
And be,
How we where we,
Perfectly happy,
Without effort,
Without expectations,
Just you and I,
All there is, 
All there was,
All I ever wanted,
So if you ever feel the urge,
To not talk,
To not do anything at all,
To do nothing,
In company,
We could be together alone,
We could do nothing,
And change everything,
If only we could be,
Together alone.

I am sorry I am such an asshole, I mess up,
I do the wrong thing, I act cold and careless,
But believe me when I say I do.
 
























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Cloudwalker

At first I always dreamed,
Dreamed so big,
That it terrified all around me,
Because of the fright,
They told me,
I would never make it,
Not even fake it,
Cause dreams are not reality,
They are not what we live in,
But don't they also say,
Live and let live,
Why not dream and let dream?
I was so heart broken,
By the shattering of my dreams,
Until one day,
I tried,
No efford till midnight,
No sweat and tears,
No blood and time turned to,
Motivation,
Just one lose try...
And it worked,
it worked again and again,
I always dreamed,
To have my name,
In black and white on a book,
I got one,
Then I got tree,
Now I dream of shelf full,
And there is no one who will be able,
To get my head out of these clouds,
I'm a cloudwalker,
Always have always will be.

Dream with heart and soul.
























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Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Ironic

Recently,
I discovered,
That life is not unfair,
Not unfair at all,
In that fact that it is unfair,
Lays the fairness,
How ironic,
Since life is unfair,
For all of us,
Equally unfair,
That makes life,
Pretty fair again...
Strange how a little change,
Of perspective can in fact,
Change your perspective...
Life is full of,
Incredible mind breaking,
And heartaching yet,
Still groundbreaking,
Contradictions,
There are so many reasons,
To hate and love,
All at the same time,
If only we all had the same eyes,
Or if only we all saw,
Nothing the same,
That's the beginning of the game.

It's a sad earplug in, world out kind of thought, that made me,
appriciate the world even more.


















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Monday, April 6, 2015

Don't stop this train

She always wondered,
If she where ahead,
Or behind with her time,
And maybe that's the reason why,
She got stuck on her train,
She never considered,
These kind of thoughts before,
Yet once one was fired,
There only came more and more,
It was a strange thing to do,
Shut down as if skies had,
Never even been blue,
Act grey when the way,
Is no longer clear,
When you forget how to steer,
She knew she knew,
Somewhere inside,
They answer lays,
That's where the truth always is,
And truth be told,
Even when my heart get cold,
I came a long way further,
Then there is ahead,
That's all needed to be said,
Now my days I will spend,
To find back the faith,
I lost along the way,
So that I can only say,
By the way...
If you ever wonder...

Everyone comes with baggage, find someone who loves you
enough to help you unpack.
























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Your beautiful you.

Beauty is not the voice to be followed,
It's not the voice to be heard,
Nor is it a voice demanding to listen,
It is a soft almost silent whisper,
Calm and warm not loud or shout,
It does not asks for answers or actions,
It only makes the ear,
Curious and wondering,
What a humble sound is singing trough...
The noise of all the other voices.

Beauty is not the girl,
That waves her hands in the air,
The girl without a care,
It is not a reckless rulebreaker,
Nor a firestarter,
It may even not make your heart beat faster,
Yet it does, make you think,
Think about what you feel,
Cause beauty you see,
Is like art,
It demands nothing,
Not to be appreciated,
To be seen or heard,
To be loved or thrown in dirt,
It makes no difference at all,
Cause it's the beauty part in art,
That makes it indifferent to these things.

True beauty does not asks itself,
If it is worthy or not,
It does not look in the mirror,
It does not recognizes their every spot,
Nor does it knows it blessings or flaws,
It has ideas and thoughts,
To be consumed and blend,
By there heart and soul they lend,
To the world for those who want to see,
The true essence of beauty,
It does not roar, it does not roast,
It neither cost or get's lost,
Unable to show in a photograph,
Not to be understood,
The purest most natural form of art,
Beauty the invisible part,
Hidden inside the actions we do,
that got decided deep down in the centre,
Of a golden heart.

Beauty and grace, all in place, it's up to you.























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Shine out time

Sunshine,
Shines down,
I look up,
Eyes half closed,
Little frown,
Lips from cheek to cheek,
This feeling creeps on me,
As goosebumps spead,
Over my illuminating skin,
I'll soak,
Take it all in,
These are the moments,
Beer in one hand,
Confetti on the ground,
Toes wiggling,
Music singing wild,
Flirty Betty Davis eyes,
These are the moments,
We life to die for,
These are he moments,
That gather our collection,
Of reminissions,
These are the moments.

Make sure minutes count,
outshine time...

























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Sunday, April 5, 2015

Token

The mockingjay,
Is making its way,
Back to me,
It is mocking,
The provoken,
Token,
Tattoot on my skin,
You,
My one and only sin.

I am fearfull that if I wash,
I'll be not only getting fresh but also clean,
I don't want to lose this feel...

























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Saturday, April 4, 2015

Dreaming colours

Confetti falls, 
Between plastic walls,
Shimmering lights,
Dreaming colours,
Eyes meet,
Moving feet,
Smiles appear,
As we come near,
I can barely breath,
Spinning round,
Trying not to look down,
But it was bound,
I'm falling for you,
And hard. 


Thursday, April 2, 2015

To do

D-day is to come soon,
I'm patrified,
Scared and surly,
Too unprepaired,
But tell me now,
What is a girl to do,
When she is,
In love with you?
Why are you,
Making this,
So hard on me,
When honestly,
There is nothing,
For me in this,
Only the miss,
Of what might have been,
And what almost was,
What once could,
But took a pass,
What is a broken hearted girl to do,
When she is still,
So in love with you...

You can't have it both ways...


















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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Step over stripes

My stitches itch,
Time to remove,
Let them go,
Cause the wound,
Has healed,
It appears so,
Time to let the scar,
Turn to a stain,
Where once was tattoot,
Your name,
Time to give away,
Everything that once,
Made me stay.


Kingdom come

Moment comes,
I've been waiting,
My whole life.

Moment comes,
Chills surround me,
This whole day.

Moment comes,
I have prepaired,
My whole life.

Moment comes,
I've dreamed forever.

Moment came,
Moment passed,
Moment gone.

The moment my life,
Ended,
At the same time,
As I got born again.

2015 is the game, let's play! :))

























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