Monday, June 30, 2014


You made me feel so special,
In the way you touch me gently as you walk by,
How you look me strait in the eye,
Oh I could loved you my whole life for that, 
Just in way you laugh at my jokes, 
You hand always reaching for mine,
You made me feel so special,
Till I realised you do that with everyone...

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dont let people treat you like a cigarette...

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Believe in youre words

All this time,
I believed you're words, 
Till someone spit on it,
Gave it some dirt,
I back off right away, 
It might not be okay,
To never trust,
But why would it be a must,
When my gut tells me,
To stay away,
I can feel,
You're trying to hurt me,
With every step you come closer,
Just go,
Leave me alone,
If my believe for you,
Was so weak,
I don't believe,
That of a great love,
We could ever speak...
All this time,
I believed you're words,
Until I had to tell mine...

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even you're shadow leaves you when you're in darkness

For all the boys and girls...

Have you ever had,
That moment you thought,
That there was nothing left,
Nothing to live for,
I found,
Then when I got there,
It appeared there still was light,
A familiar voice called out,

My dear, My dear,
Come closer, 
Listen to me...

Since there was nothing,
Why wouldn't I just listen,
She whispered to me,

I see, I see,
A girl that has a beautiful smile,
If only someone taught her,
How to use it...

I see, I see,
A girl with a beautiful mind,
If only someone had told her,
How precious that is to find...

I see, I see,
A girl with a lot of scars,
If only someone showed her,
That scars turn into beauty...

I see, I see,
A girl that needs to see,
What I see when she looks at me...

Then there was nothing,
The calm voice made place,
For the quite silence,
I walked towards the mirror,
Looked at me,
And it took me a long time,
But in time I did came to see,
The beautiful me...

you only know a part of me, I am an universe full of secrets.

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Saturday, June 28, 2014

tried, tried, tried...

I tried,
Oh how I tried,
To be the golden girl,
The one,
You know, that girly girl,
Oh oh but now you know,
That I can't be what you want,
Don't tell me that we can't,
For if you could fell for me,
Then you could fall for me,

We tried,
Oh how we tried,
To be the golden couple,
That two,
Sweethearts that everybody knew,
Oh oh but now they now,
That we can't be,
What the world needs to see,
They told us we couldn't,
Not once,
They told us we couldn't,

You tried,
Oh how you tried,
To stay away from me,
To forget,
You know, That love we had,
Oh oh but now you know,
That I'm all you want,
and I would never say,
That we can't...
Because I really want...
I fell for you,
And I will fall for you,
If you promise,
To always stay...

We tried,
And oh how we cried,
Oh how they all cried,
The day I walked towards you,
Dresses as groom and bride,
Me and you,
You and me,
For the whole world to see,
That we could be,
Whatever we wanted to be,
For I fell for you,
And you fell for me,
Until eternity.

Just married. 

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Friday, June 27, 2014

Calm and quiet sleep

I cant sleep,
So I thought,
I should think of,
Whats keeping me up,
But my mind was blanc...
So where does that leave me?
And where should I go tonight?
When the insomnia,
Keeps waking me at moonlight,
Is there a please at midnight,
Where we could all come together,
With candels and pj's,
And chips and sad movies,
So we could fall asleep in,
In each others arms,
Save and warm,
Hiding under the covers,
Who knows what we might discover.
I cant sleep,
But I'm not gonna think of nothing,
I'll just pretent I'm dreaming,
Untill my body and mind,
Start believing that we really are,
In a calm and quiet sleep...

calm and quiet sleep, i love my bed. 

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Thursday, June 26, 2014

Last to know

You were my first real love,
As I was yours,
I was the first to now.

You were the first one in every way mine,
You were the first to make me feel alive,
And you've been the first to know.

But when you left me,
When you walked out,
Left me for dead,
I was the last to now...

I was you greatest love,
The one to believe in you,
And you where the first to know.

You where my ever after,
My one right choice,
Told you all about it,
We were the first one's to know.

But when you broke my heart,
When you closed the door,
When you wanted her more,
I was the last to know...

... Last to know...

i was the last to know.

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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Feeling vs choice

I've wondering about you and her lately,
You never come around with her anymore,
Neither do you parade at my door,
So tell me now babe,
Did you find the truth in my words?
I told you that summer night in late June,
Love is a feeling, not a decision,
You cant just think "Who will I love today?"
You have to feel it inside, within you're soul,
You're heart, you're bones, inside you're all,
Like the feeling you get when you've unwrapped a present,
Or when you go to your favourite restaurant, 
The feeling you get when...
When I see you...
I've been wondering lately,
Why you choose her,
And it came to my ear,
They the grand feelings we shared,
Made you scared so you choose in fear,
Now its almost over the bitter taste of the end
...Has gotten to your mouth,
Soon you'll spit her out,
And then you'll come back around,
To find a note on the door saying,
"Im sorry,
Im not feeling it,
so now you'll feel,
what I felt the last six months,
when you left me,
so lets hope...
You'll learn a bit faster this time..."
Let's consider you been thought well,
Now you know, it's head vs. heart,
And you must always bet on the heart,
If you're in it for the long run.

head vs heart

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Monday, June 23, 2014

Better then lose yourself

You said dont leave me,
Dont walk away please,
But I had to, 
I really had to,
Sometimes its better,
To choose to lose,
Some one else,
Eventhough they mean,
The world to you,
Then stay,
And lose yourself,
Some fights are just,
Not worth risking,
All you are...

I was not fine at all,
But you didn't see so buzzy,
With yourself,
And so I set you free,
So I could be myself again.

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Thursday, June 19, 2014

Having trouble sleeping...

Somehow it seems,
Lately I'm having trouble sleeping,
I can't fall asleep,
Or stay asleep either,
I keep on waking,
Or I just have this insomnia,
That keeps me up until 2 A.M,
Just waiting for my eyes to close,
To drift off and dream as a rose,
But I cant,
I really can't,
For I no longer know,
I to dream and so,
I stay awake,
Until my eyes break,
Somehow it seems,
Lately I'm having trouble dreaming
I can't fall asleep...
I tried picturing you in a dream,
And there it went like I've never seen,
You're face before,
I fell asleep on the bathroom floor,
Dreaming about you more and more and more,
Somehow it seems,
Lately I'm having trouble sleeping,
I just wanted to let you now,
For if you have the same problem we could go,
And accompany each other,
When the dark comes to smother,
So we could lay close and sing gently,
Song to fall asleep to,
For me and you...
So if it might seem,
Like you have trouble dreaming lately,
Dream a little dream of me,
Or come over a little closer,
And you might see,
A little dreamy me...

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Again and again and again

He asked,
And I said,
I will fall,
I'll fall again,
And again,
And again,
And again,
And again,
And again,
And again,
And again"
He replied,
"What does that have to do...
With me?"
And I carefully chose my words,
When whispering back,
"One fall was for you,
And I could fall again for you, 
And again,
And again,
But if you keep,
Hurting me like this,
And fail me every time,
Once I will fall, 
For someone else...
And then again,
Will stay with him..."
He was speechless,
No words came out,
Just tears poured down,
From his eyes and mine,
And then and there,
I fell in love with him,
All over,

And I will fall in love with you... Again and again and again...

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Monday, June 16, 2014

Can't hear without singing along...

I look at all our old friends,
They are all doing fine,
Yet were still unattained,
While you and I together could have contained,
All that people wish that remained,
Now that I am so far from you're bones,
I will lay you back down,
Hope the wind make take you,
That suddenly you get flown,
Right into my arms again,
And all will be turned around,
All our friends will look at us and laugh,
For they never experienced what we have...
The've never had a love like this,
And oh how they miss,
Thankfully ignorance is bliss,
And we'll just laugh along,
Because we now non of them will ever get,
What we got and never ever can forget,
Not even if we want to,
It's like our love is a song,
That you can't hear without singing along,
Yet you only sing it to me, and I for you alone,
Nobody see, hears, or understands these words,
Flowing from my heart,
I will never be able to part,
From the one who made the music start,
From you...

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Fit yourself

It never really hit me,
When the moment was,
Maybe it was just something,
That somehow took pass,
I guess it was when they left me,
And I was there all alone,
That I realised when I was alone,
I felt more loved en less lonely,
Then in a crowd,
I never really fitted in,
And ofcourse I always knew that,
ButI dont hurt people on purpose,
Just because there diffrent,
It was in that one thought,
That I got scared of myself my own soul,
What if I would always stay a fit out?
Could there be a place on the earth,
Where even I belong?
Could I hang on untill that day?
Must admit that it was a rocky way,
But me, myself and I,
Even if it took some time,
Are perfectly fine,
Fitting out,
Cause maybe fitting yourself,
Is just what live is about...
I believe that anyway...

Saturday, June 14, 2014

I am a star

As we where driving our bikes home,
From a long high school day,
3 boys walked our way,
The blocked our bikes,
And laughed at me,
At my t-shirt,
It said "I am a star",
An they laughed saying,
If anyone ever knows youre name,
They should die of shame,
I reply as angry as I was,
That no on would know his ever,
And if they did they werent clever,
That in 30 year there would be no one,
Who would give a damn,
About his big loud opinion,
And that my words would be written somewhere,
That my name would be on paper,
And the 14th of september it will be,
For the first time then I will see,
My name in black on white, 
From there I will laugh,
Laugh like I never did before,
For I did it, 
I made my dream come true,
And youre still the same pathetic old you...

I am star, I'm a sky full of stars, and an universe full of secrets.

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Wanne be winners

We all wanne be winners,
And nobody wants to lose,
Or to be called a loser,
Do we do things,
That we dont feel like,
In our lust of being winners,
We sadly all become sinners,
And my lost soul,
Always prays for the beginners,
The new one's,
That they maybe strong,
And stumble on along,
Instead of with decieve,
Just with theirselfs and believe,
For that is really all you need,
Much better then greed,
Just believe in you,
That is all there is to do,
We all wanne be winners...

winners focus on winning, and we all wanne be...

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Friday, June 13, 2014

Look at you like this

We were cornered,
You on the left,
Looking at me,
Those eyes like that,
I know that look,
What a shame,
What a waste,
All my love,
All my time,
Just thrown away,
There I stood,
Looking at you,
Watering eyes,
Now don't you dare,
To say you care,
And that you,
Dont want me to,
Cuz I will,
Look at you,
Like this,
I roll my eyes,
And stare you dead,
Gonna turn my head,
When its a word you said,
All of these days,
I thought you were mine,
All of these weeks,
I thought this is it,
But my heart got...
A hit...
And now,
I will look at you,
Like this,
Roll my eyes,
When you say dear,
Raise my eyebrow,
When you come near,
I will look at you like this,
And you're gonna wish,
I would take it easy,
On you,
Like I always was,
But I...
I will make this hard,
Gonna make you start,
To wonder,
Why you left,
Make sure that you,
Know... That,
I will look at you,
Like this...

I'm gonna look at you like this...

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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Darling, darling, beating heart

Oh oh,
I said to that crying face,
The face of a scared little boy,
Who ones the body of a grown man,
"Darling, darling... You're heart still beating,
And yes you're still breathing,
My dear, You're still alive..."
His bursted red eye,
Looked right into mine,
I took his hand and whispered,
"Darling, darling, we don't carry,
All the weight of the memories we have,
Not all of us burden what we have to bare,
If you would just... Give up all hope,
And all the wishes for a better past,
Yesterday might define who you were,
But it doesn't says who you are,
Or what you will be,
Look in the mirror and one day,
You might see the exact same things as me"
His shaking voice asked me what I ment,
He said I never saw his scars,
So if I would see them that I might get frightened,
And I slowly replied,
"Oh, oh my dear,
The scars on you're soul,
Where the first one to catch my eyes,
For I have been where you are now,
And dear oh my dear,
The new day tomorrow,
It could be so much bigger and stronger,
Then yesterday,
If you would only hold on,
Look ahead and stop dwelling in self-regret,
Darling... Darling,
You're hearts still beating,
So what else matters?
You're the only thing in you're way..."
Then all that was left,
Was... Silence...

scars turn into beauty...

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I believe

I believe,
I believe,
I believe,
That I fell for you,
And you might not,
I believe,
That we can fall before we fly,
For I've been pushed down many times,
But life goes up and down,
And it's more like a circle then we think,
Every ending gives us a new start,
When all comes to an end you'll find a beginning,
I'm the one to experience the pain,
Of losing who you are,
Of being ashamed of you're soul,
But all my broken pieces got put back together,
And now that I'm whole again,
I'm more beautiful then ever,
It's never then end of me nor you,
This is not the end, It will be the beginning,
Yes I believe,
I believe,
I believe,
That you will rise and fly,
I believe in all you cant see,
And in all there is not to touch,
I believe,
I believe,
I believe...
I believe in all these possibilties you can't see...

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Write long lost lover

Never even read my poems,
My lyrics or my blog,
And just from the few lines,
I sometimes put in Facebook,
He thought that I might suit the job,
That I could help someone,
With writing a song,
For a lost love one, 
Yet I should be honored,
I only feel fear,
For what if my words arent clear?
Or what if the sound doesn't come near,
To what others might see as comforting,
Or what id they don't think of it as anything,
Just a something,
Then what would I do?
What would my words ever mean to you?
Will you seek my voice when black or blue?
I don't know,
I don't know,
What my answer is gonna be,
If only I could set my thoughts free,
We could write and see,
And it would be whatever it would be...

If only I could set my thoughts free...

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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

I dont want to

I don't want to break down,
I don't want to break you're heart,
I don't want to want you,
And I don't want to fall in love,
But I do I do I do,
I never wanted to be shy,
I never wanted to wonder why,
I never wanted to be a daddy's girl,
Yet I do I do I do,
I don't want to have to act like,
I don't want to have to stay here,
I don't want to have to be little,
Yet it seems I do...
This is still better then,
Being anything like you,
Like you, like you, like you...
Now I don't wanne need anyone,
I don't want to rely on someone,
And I don't want to explain myself,
Or tell you why, 
Yet I do...
Still I will come further then nothing at all,
And one day you will fall,
And I don't want to,
But I'll be walking tall...
And I'll be better then nothing at all...

You made me feel as if even nothing was better then me...

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I always liked that about you

I never really had the courage,
To do something different,
Or at least I thought so,
Untill last nights when he said to me,
I always liked that about you,
That you dare to stand out,
That you never changed for the world,
That youre the most you you can be,
And I just dont know why,
For I dont really know you that well,
So why would I care about what you tell,
But youre words sounded,
As the most beautiful compliment I ever had,
I will never forget,
What you said,
One day I'll return the favour,
I'll promiss you,
I do...

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One of a kind

Walking with another

We had the tiniest talk,
But when I decided to take a walk,
With this guy you know,
All at once you start you show,
You mate yelled dont bother,
She walking with another,
But I say you better worry,
You'll see you get sorry,
Not for leaving me oh no,
But for watching me go,
I could ask you or give you a dare,
But who in this town would care,
What little you has to do?
For youre litlle and you'll stay,
For always this way,
Only because you dont make choises,
Always come up with those noises,
Yet never truly had the best intrest,
In anyones version of their best,
For cant reach yours,
But I'm done with ours,
We never where and we never will be, 
Anything else then you and me,
And what I want is a me and you,
If someday you feel the same,
You've got my number there is no shame,
In giving me a call,
As long as you save me a dangerous fall...
I really hope one day you'll call...

walking with happy thoughts 

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Did you forget me?

Did you forget?
That I was waiting here for you,
Did you forget?
Everything you've ever said?
Did you forget? 
Did you forget? 
Somewhere we got lost,
Settelt into dust,
We where once so good,
Just like it should,
Tell me when did you forget?
All the things we shared,
All that was in youre head, 
Did you forget,
That I am still,
Waiting for a call,
That I stay here,
I will never disappear,
Did you forget,

you're my wonderwall...

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Thursday, June 5, 2014

I knew him... Once

You said to me one time,
I believe in September,
The 23rd if I correctly remember,
That one day all I heard from you,
Was what people said about you,
You would break away,
Once you've found some courage,
To leave this town,
But it will never go that far,
I knew it then and I know it now,
You're not that brave,
In 20 years when you'll be home alone,
You look me up,
And be stunned by all the places I've been too,
All the things that I did,
And the way I live,
The way you dream to find yourself,
Is how I wake up everyday,
Living in Berlin,
Trying everything I've never done before,
Bought my T2 van,
Traveled round the world,
Got to university nailed it,
I will have done everything,
You couldn't our was to afraid to try,
And I'm pretty sure you'll either laugh or cry,
Laugh for I did what I always said and dreamed,
You'll be proud of me,
And cry for you will regret that it wasn't you...
You that stands in all the pictures next to me...
You that holds my hand,
You that is my dream come to life...
But I'll tell you this now,
When they ask me about the poems,
Or point to the pictures,
I'll tell them you're name,
All the memories we shared,
And I'll say as I smile and shake my head,
Looking at the ground,
I knew him... Once...

break away, let it go, start living.

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Sun was filling up the shades,
And I could hear your thinking,
See your dreams and thoughts before me,
We couldn't keep it up long,
But if you don't want this,
Don't stand so close to me,
You could get scared from what you see,
Just say that you don't feel the same,
And I'll make sure to keep my distance,
Stay in line, keep my place,
Just a smiling, plain-no-emotion-face,
I will keep on waiting for you to say what we have,
In meantime I'll make sure to only say,
I love you when you're not listening,
For we can keep spinning and act like someone is to lose, the other is winning,
But its not that easy,
So darling just call it anything but love,
I'll walk away let you go,
Just as me you know,
That we cant breathe with distance,
It calls up miss and loss and resistance,
And I just don't want to take distance,
From something that provides me the air that I'll need to breathe,
The light to grow and the attention to know,
That love is true,
That love is nothing else then...
... Me and you...

this distance between us...

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Two completly diffrent things...

I tried to tell you once,
But you weren't really paying attention,
Just staring ahead on the road,
No facial expressions,
No words no reply nothing,
So I figured that you where dreaming,
But it turns out you where listening all along,
You said to me that I'm such a strong person,
Someone who knows where she stands for,
And who will fight for it, go trough fire,
How much you respect me for that...
And no one had ever said those words to me,
They call me brave, and strong and all,
But never said how much resect I deserved,
I got silent from you're statement,
In a good way,
That moment I realized I loved you more,
Then I ever thought was possible,
Yet you didn't really ment those words,
They were true at the moment and,
I'm pretty sure if you'll had to describe me,
You would say them again,
It's just that you feel it but would never show,
And I really need someone to make it black and white,
So I'm sure once I've chosen it is right...
I tried to tell you once,
But hearing and listening turns out...
To be two completely different things...

what matter is on the inside.

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Wednesday, June 4, 2014


What if there was no good and no bad?
What if there was no sad?
Then there was no happy either?
What if there was no black and white?
What if there was no darkness nor light?
Would it all be grey?
Would we all be the same?
Outside and in?
Living in...
What if,
I'm wondering what if?
We all had a different life?
Would different really be different?
Or not so different at all?
Would grey really be grey,
Or just a perfect balance,
That we don't always find in life?
What if...
I wonder what it would it be like,

you'll always be my favorite "what if" 

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2 november or 17th august

It says 2 november now,
That one picture of you that I love,
The one when you were shopping,
I think it was with you're little brother,
The way you're curls stand up there,
And the sun shine that makes you close,
one of you're eyes a bit,
It's so cute 'n sweet,
It looked just like how you looked at me,
That sunday we went to a tiny town fest,
When you and me went to the ATM,
You told me some kinda funny story,
It made you laugh just like a little kid,
And to be truly honest,
I never even heard a word you said,
I just laughed and smile for I had the most,
Moest perfect view that sunday afternoon,
This is my thank you,
Stay beautiful, stay strong, stay true,
And I'll always love you,
Ever from since that day,
And the august 17th anyway...

choose between us.

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Open a coffee house

When I was a little kid I wanted to open a coffee house,
I knew the name the place I knew it all,
Right in between our two towns,
Right next to all the places we've been too,
There were all the people pass by that we relate too,
In my mind I cab already walk trough it,
With gallery art hanging on the walls,
Red sofa's en Brown pillow a beige wall,
A room filled with the smell of fresh baked cookies, coffee and caramel,
As I turn around in that dream,
You open the glass door and walk towards me,
You Greet me and give me a hug a cheek kiss,
I had it all,
My dream as a kid and my dream now,
I had it all and ever more,
I had you...

books and coffee my biggest love...

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Never gave up on love

My Mother once told me,
"Oh dear don't give up on love..."
And it was such a silly statement,
For she didn't knew,
I never gave up on love,
And I never ever will,
I just gave up on people,
On trusting human beings,
That will only betray my trust,
Who will cheat, steal and lie,
But I won't give up on love,

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I heard +chef special's "arms" last night,
I was laying in the bed,
With a pillow in my arms,
Sprayed you're perfume on it,
And as I was crying it was almost,
Almost as if you where there,
Next to me hold me and comforting,
A little sad girl...

But I need to face the facts,
You're no longer my nightingale,
You don't sing me to sleep,
Or save my tears when I wheep,
You left me alone,
When I needed you,
Need you now...

I was just listing to the words,
Hoping the might enlighten me,
Or in a strange and rare way make me see,
That you're no longer anything to,
Someone that once cared more,
Way more about you then anything else,

You were at my window last night,
And it's time for you to face the facts,
You weren't my nightingale,
Or sang me to sleep,
Saved the tears that I cried...
You left me all alone,
When I called out,
When I needed you...

You stand there outside my door,
But I'll slam it screaming in you're face,
And I know, Oh how I know,
That you'll need me now,
But it's the same old story,
With a different ending,
For I don't need you,
Don't need you now,
Nor ever anymore...

Now leave me alone like all,
All those nights before,
When I fell asleep waiting on the floor,
Walk on to someone else's,
Tell the world, Tell them now,
You lost the one thing in this world,
The one thing that loved you...
Who's gonna hold you now?
Who's gonna save you now?
I don't need you... now...

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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

All about the little things

There was this little moment today and it made me so happy in a way that nothing gift wrapped could,
A little girl waiting on the train looked at me top down, looked back up again and started smiling,
And so as everyone would do I smiled back and said hello there little un,
She replied to me I like you shoe stains,
And she ment some Orange stain I once got on my all-stars but the sweet sound of her voice and that laugh made it a like a huge compliment to me,
And so as I was thinking it over in the train,
I figured maybe that is what it is all about,
The little things,
Like the smell of fresh coffee and Bread,
The sun shining or the wonderful sound of a storm, 
A stranger that Greets you or flowers in spring,
Someone that tells you you're beautiful and birds that sing,
Maybe its just all about those little things,
And in the end thats all that matters....

It's all about the little things in the end.

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Baby be my cure

I am sick,
Like the kind of sick,
That makes you tired,
And makes you feel sad,
But not sick enough to stay home,
And all I wanted wasn't...
Chicken-soup or chocolate-milk,
It was you,
I needed a cuddle from you...
And you to tell me everything is going to be alright...
I need you to lay close and hold me tight,
I'm sick inside,
Baby won't you be cure?

I love snuggles and you...

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Monday, June 2, 2014

Good girl

I've always been a good girl,
Living in a good world,
a small town kind a place,
All is peace and grace,
But won't you take my hand,
Baby understand,
Good is good,
But I like it bad,
Take me away,
Far from here,
We'll just disappear,
And you'll see this good,
Good girl do bad,
I need to flee,
I need some life,
Just a get away,
From this sweet and warm,
Where nothing ever happens,
And I have a good heart,
And a sweet kind love,
But my lips tast so much better,
When I've got a getter...
I've always been a good girl,
Living in a good world,
But won't you take my hand,
Take me away,
Take me dancing for a day,
I need to see some light,
I need some new kind a pride,
Take me away,
Just for a night,
I'll be the best bad girl,
You've ever seen,
For even when I'm bad I'll be good...
At it...
everyone knows bad girls have more fun.

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take me backwards

Won't you take me backwards,
For I wrote our little love story,
This skinny love of ours,
I put it on paper with the ink of my pen,
I don't have the courage yet,
But one day I will put this pen down,
Be brave when I look at it,
And go around and get around with this...
If you don't save me...
If you won't be my remedy,
It would be a tradegy,
But then this in these words I wrote,
Would be the only way to reach you...
I just can help myself but wonder,
If you would come then,
Would it be for me...?
Or just because of how far I've come...
For you've always been afraid or all,
All the chances that come from breaking,
And I won't want to be laid down,
I want someone to save me,
Even if I wont change,
Won't you be brave already,
For we both now words are empty air,
And written words aren't always fair....
So take me backwards,
To those pages in witch we smiled,
To where we were happy and in love,
Take me backwards please...?

take me backwards, to when we loved.

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The voice of Anna

She aways was so beautiful,
But the mirror was haunting her,
It was killing her by showing what...
All the mirrors show... You...
She was so scared and unprepared,
For this hard cold world,
That she stopped eating,
Not for being nervous or in love,
Not because she didn't feel hunger,
But just because she might not be,
The one on the cover of a magazine to see...
Isn't it a tragedy?
That there are many like her,
They all can't see what all the others do,
How red hair make the fire you have inside show,
And how having a size M is just a beautiful,
As freckles and fuzzy hair...
The world it going down, down, down,
We all fake smiles and force laughs,
While inside every single one of us crashes,
Were all so scared to admit that we aren't perfect,
That we might not be the golden onces?
But how come?
How come... The world and all these wiser and older generations,
Never thought us that is isn't necessary,
To have an XS or to be happy just the way you are?
Why are we all so obsessed,
With winning it all... Being the best?
She was always so beautiful...
But our hard cold world,
It killed her,
She was dead long before she died....
Anna called her...
And she listened to that voice...
She always was so beautiful...

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Ever since I was five years old,
I already knew,
I had to get away,
Just I don't know... Someday,
Travel on a jet plane,
Or by one of those old busses,
Just keep going for miles and miles,
Until all I've ever known is far gone,
Until I am all alone,
Just so I can start over,
re-invent myself into someone new,
Become the one thing I always wanted be me,
Me without the influence of anyone or anything,
Just me as I was supposed to be,
And it stayed my wish for years and years,
Oh how I prayed to my God up there,
If he would please take care,
Of this big dream of mine,
And oh how I saved every single penny I had,
For this...
For breaking away of,
Of a town that's always the same,
Where nothing ever happens,
And no one really fits,
Thats filled with lies and secrets,
Yet then yesterday suddenly as I fell asleep,
In this kind of still awake yet already dreaming dream,
I saw myself in this little town,
As I was I think about 27,
And I was happy...
I was truly happy with a smile from ear to ear,
And you where also here,
We had a little baby in our arms,
And we lived in this house next to the mill,
And all our friends and family where there,
Oh it was a little girl called "Hannah",
And she was ours...
It was perfect absolutely perfect,
And finally I understood,
I don't need to run anymore or hide,
To somewhere far away,
For you I found myself and for you I would stay...

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The power of youre words

My Mother accused me of losing my mind,
My father tried to assure me someday I would find,
My girlfriends told me its gonna be fine,
But nothing hurts more then the words you said to that heart of mine...
At school they say only few accomplisch in year one,
And that isn't even my biggest fear,
I fear you opinion more then anything,
Its a certain self respect for me that you're approval brings,
I never intented to be just another brick in the wall,
But you being so consending most certainly will keep me from standing tall...
Youre words van either build me or break me down in just a single second,
Youre opinion goes beyond,
Every other soul that is bound to mine,
So next time better think you can choose, 
Do you want to wear me down or see me shine?

now my feet cant touch the ground

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Sunday, June 1, 2014

post-it permanently

A post-it,
That's what I need,
And one permanent marker,
That way I could,
Post-it permanently,
Stick the piece of paper,
On to the two broken pieces,
Of a once healed heart,
"Closed forever",
That it what I wish I could say,
So no one ever comes close again,
So I'm sure my heart won't shatter,
Into a million pieces more,
So that I maybe can be sure,
That in time the crack you left,
Might heal and disappear,
So that it will be my heart again,
And I can feel it beating inside my chest,
But what would it be worth?
A beating heart for no one to love?
Nor to beloved by mine...
Maybe I could better stick...
"Entrance at own risk",
or "In repair",
At those pieces you left behind...
For someone else to find...

I guess we're just not friends anymore, cause is there ever
a turning back point when you where once...

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As it was planned

Today was a match day for you're football,
So I planned my afternoon free and asked my girlfriends if they would come too,
Just like I plan every single thing I do,
For every day,
Every night,
And so on and on,
And while you can plan for a change,
And you're calendar and the weather and all,
I never planned that one day I'd be losing you,
I never guessed or thought that one day you would change you mind...
Well I went anyway,
Cause maybe just maybe,
Even though it didn't work out as planned,
It might still turn out right...?

taylor swift, if this was a movie...

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