Tuesday, September 30, 2014

My little bother...

I don't want him to grow up,
Wish he could stay little,
Stay as he always was,
If I could I would make sure,
Nothing ever hurts him,
No one breaks his heart,
He'll always stay this little,
Laughing carelessly,
With those innocent eyes,
If he would only see,
Time does not pass slowly,
But it goes by way too fast,
Better to live now then in the past,
Make you're memories last,
If he could only stay,
This little, This simple,
This pure, This happy...
My little brother doesn't know,
That every day I see him grow,
I am so proud of him,
But still I hope he's listening...
If we could all just try to,
Never grow up...
Make this world once again simple.

My beautiful little brother.

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the ghost

I am so sick and tired,
With always being the one behind the closed door,
Flowers won't grown with thunder,
So I've learned from past experiences...

I am so sick and tired,
Or a world that not half as broken as I am,
Trusting someone won't mean there trustworthy,
So I've saw in my memories...

I am so sick and tired,
Being scared of all these feelings around,
My only reply remains I don't know,
I don't know when I didn't know anymore...

When I'm awake and healed,
I will come and visit you,
Look for the ghost,
Of the one I used to hold in my heart...

John Green quotes are the reason I love weheartit...

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Monday, September 29, 2014

He's one of them...

He asked me...

"Have you ever met someone,
And they would blind you with their halo?
They can shine so bright that the stars look pale?
Have you ever seen the feathers of a peacock,
You know they can not see the feathers them selfs,
Or a butterfly, She never sees her own wings,
Nor a flower can smell her own scent,
Not even a tree can taste it own apples,
They are so beautiful and will never know,
Just how much they bring to others,
They will never know what their true value is...
The saddest part is,
That there are so many people exactly alike...
Never see, what I wish they could,
Never see them selfs the way I do"

"Beautiful words" was all I replied. 

I looked at him, smiled and took his hand,
How could I tell him,
He was one of those people,
I know I had to tell him it's just this thought...
For if he knew what he was worth,
Would he still be with me...? 

He's one of them... He's all of them...

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I was thinking about day to come,
But it just kept me awake,
When a good nights sleep,
Was all I wanted to find this hour,

I was trying to synchronize my mind,
Putting all my memories in place,
It's was hard...
There where all these things,
You and me shared,
I was not quite ready,
To put them away just yet,

I was trying to figure out why,
When without any real effort,
I stumble on the realization,
That I can not change the past,
Never... Not even if I wanted to,
Not even if I tried to,

So I come to the conclusion,
That I could spend another minute,
Thinking of you or,
Just accept that what's gone is gone,
Let myself move on,
And have faith that there is,
Something better in store for me...

Acceptance was all I need,
So it seems,
For I slept heavenly,
Have a dream without you in it,
For the first time in a year,
And it felt good,
To get back to the girl,
I used to be.

stop overthinking, start overlaughing...

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Sunday, September 28, 2014

I could be like

I could be like all the other girls,
Clubbing every single night, 
Falling drunk on my bed,
Waking with my eyes baked in make-up,
But thats not something that I do...

I could be like all the other girls,
Werking out every single day,
In the gym showing my figure,
Always talking about the efford,
But the shy me the be humble wont do...

I could be like really anyone else in this world,
Just one day living their life,
And it wont suit me,
For I want to suit you and you have a difficult fit...
But I've fitted you once

So maybe when I do what I'm good at,
When I am... Myself,
You find you're way back to me,
And take me of the shelf,
This time for good.

I could be like whatever, but all I really want is a lazy weekend.
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He's 50th birthday

Yesterday night,
The spotlight,
Was lighted just for him,
Followed him around,
He was no where found without a smile.

Yesterday night,
He was drunkin' talking,
About love and pride and all,
My dad, Who I look up to,
Standing so tall.

Yesterday night,
Was a perfect night,
A party we can remember,
Memorie we all share now,
Never can be taken away.

Yesterday night,
I learned again,
That every moment only,
Comes by once,
So take every chance,
To make someone happy,
Take every hand to dance.

Yesterday night,
Was what is was,
A night with a too fast pass.

daddy turning 50. Celebrating life the good way.

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Friday, September 26, 2014


Just sitting there,
All alone at the station,
Waiting for nothing,
Time slowly passing,
Wishfully thinking,
I might run into you...

Just riding there,
On the bus lane,
Looking outside the window,
Letting the past go,
Hoping one day,
You'll run into me...

Just laying in bed,
Late hours thinking,
That maybe we deserved,
Another shot at this,
We could fix things,
I'll just wanne run to you...

Fall into you're arms,
Breathless kissing you,
But I am too late,
For every time I didn't,
She did...

Just dreaming,
Of you and me,
Back then,
Back to when,
We where still,
Running wild and free,
Back to you and me...

taylor swift - last kiss.
not much for dancing but for you I did.

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Thursday, September 25, 2014

give me a chance to

So please...
2 A.M in his kitchen,
I whispered at him,
Trying to come closer to his body,
Please, please, please...?
He just pushed me away,
"Then if you and me is not what you want,
Just leave me alone then,
Stop trying to make believe we could be something,
That we would never even come close to,
Quit trying to get into my head,
Enough with the remember when I said,
If you don't want me or if you're not planning to stay,
Just go,
Or at least give me the change to..."
I stood up,
walked to the door,
Refused to look back and started to walk,
Started to walk and cry,
Dropped everything on the pavement,
When I got surprised by you...
Chasing after me,
Asking me to wait,
For one more chance,
For one last forever...

give me the chance to let it go...

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eyes shut

My eyes fall shut,
I fall asleep,
So fast and uncontrolled,
It seems that I've been unrolled,
In a new sleep pattern,
I could say that it is not,
A handy one,
Or that I do not like it,
But I do,
For every night,
I dream about you...
So I don't mind,
I do not care,
For sweet dreams I'll see you there...
My eyes are falling shut,
Fall asleep as well dear,
Trust you're gut,
I'll see you at midnight...

Epic John Green love quote

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Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Only love

Do you ever have,
One of these days,
I said to him,
Mits all of rambling on,
I never even waited for the reply...
I was just going on and on,
About all that was wrong,
With myself, and the people,
And really more like the world,
At these some days...
Its just like I said,
Sometimes the world get under my skin,
And just drives me crazy,
And he laughed,
With his crooked smile,
His shaking head,
He turned to me,
And kissed me til I stopped stopping him,
When he let go,
He whispered to my ear,

"She was the most feeling girl anyone known,
She fels so much that some days she felt out of touch,
It's like some days of the year out of nowhere,
Just like that the world suddenly overwhelmed her,
And her whole heart took everything in,
Every sorrow or worry in this world,
And she would try to carry it but she only has two hands,
Her shoulders under it, Until her back would break,
Her love is like a soldier, Loyal for all eternity,
Never giving up rather die,
She's like the moon, always wanting the sun to shine,
And giving anything and everything for it,
The only thing she does not see, My beauty,
Is that she herself is the sun,
In all the worlds of everyone around her,
She is the one shining,
Making every body laugh and warm,
I would give up all for her,
To hold her in my arm,
My lovely sunshine...
Wheter mine or you're skies are grey,
You'll always be my dearest brightest sunshine..."

I did not know what to say,
I thought to little and felt to much,
All I felt in that overwhelming moment,
Was love. Only love.
Only love could made me feel the way I did.

we think too much and feel to little, weheartit quote.

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Made my heart a home...

Somedays I just keep on crying and crying,
And I'll find myself never being able,
To pin point why exactly...
I just keep crying until I hear my shivering voice,

"I wanna go home..."

I never understood how come this always appears,
When I am in my own house,
The one I grew up in,
In my own room, With my bed,
The stuffed animals the pillows and all,
Everything familiar I know...
It's where I rest my bones,
The place I shut my eyes,
But I just never sight...

So why do I keep on crying out for home?
I realised sitting in my pool of tears,
That it is always like this,
Whenever I remminis,
Over you...

It's you're presence that I crave,
You came and made my heart a home,
The kind of where you long to go,
After a vacation in the snow,
You stumble into and it feels warm without heat,
You lay up you're feet,
Smell a perfect blend of old wood & cookies,
There you are big sight...

That's what my heart does when it's near you...

First it kinda makes a jump,
For it is so happy to see you,
Then it pours itself out on you're lap,
And as you hold my melted heart,
It sights for it's home...

So will now I,
One hoping to go home,
For any linger of you're presence...
Find in the streets I roam,
The one who,
Made my heart a home...

I crave you're everything...

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Aan ons mam gehecht...

m'n moeder en ik zijn erg erg hecht,
onze gewoontes in elkaar gevlecht, 
we lijken samen een, 
wetende ik ben nooit alleen... 

m'n moeder leerde me behoedde, 
van al het kwade met haar geweten, 
ik zie van de wereld alleen het goede, 
haar verhalen nooit vergeten... 

met m'n moeder altijd in de leer, 
ooit kort en ooit lang, 
ze legt het uit keer op keer, 
met haar ben ik voor niets bang...

these are my aunt's (left)
and my mom (right) :))

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anything anymore

Did not saw you friday,
Nor saturday,
Nor sunday,

Lonely week,
We did not speak,
Not even a little peak,

Have not talked,
Have not walked,

Together these hours,
Feels like I'm losing power,
Becoming a wall flower,

Did not met you,
Did not text you,
Did not ask you,

About anything at all,
Feels like a free fall,

Nor will I take the chance,
To ask you to the dance,

I will not do anything,

think of youreself, you don't always get what you give.

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Monday, September 22, 2014

My granny

We've spend to days there,
In the middle of no where,
I had the best time,
I could ever call mine,
I had so much fun,
Reminded me my life has only,
Just yet begun,
She looked at me lovely,
With her yellow eyes,
The smoking makes her,
Wise but bitter,
She loves us all though,
More then we will never know,
I am sure of that,
Sitting there with her white hat,
It's a memory forever to stay,
Until there will be a day,
When the white hat will no longer,
Be worn anymore,
I still know for sure,
You're presence will linger...

Beautiful view, La Roche, Belgium.

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Sunday, September 21, 2014

the world is coming to an end

everyone should see this, take it to heart, and be the change in the world you want to see...
hope it give you the inspiration it gave me...
thanks +Prince Ea

See France

This fantasy popped up in my head,
All the emotions,
Intoxicating red,
Just then as I laid in my bed...

I remember one time,
You mentioning his name,
Don't know who's to blame,
I say in you're hands lays the same...

He does all so different then you,
It's like he knows what he wants,
He makes can's out of cant's,
Wish he'd take me to see France...

One day soon I'll see him there,
In the winter cold air,
We will meet out in the city,
Then both of us will pity...

The only thing left,
A lose treat,

Let's fall in love, take me to France...

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Friday, September 19, 2014


Hij verteld altijd, 
Iedere keer,
Over en over,
Telkens maar weer,
Over zijn jeugd,

Hij is verdwaald,
In herinneringen,
In het neurienen,
Het herzingen,
Van die doodnormale,
Kleine dingen,

Telkens weer,
Reist hij terug,
Naar zijn jeugd,
Door alzheimer,
De rest van zijn dagen,
Nog zal slijten,
In de jaren der deugd,

Niets meer goede oude tijd,
Als je zonder sleutel,
Gevangen zit in je hoofd,

… Opgesloten in je eigen jeugd. 

people change, memories don't. 

Vind je dit leuk? Like ons dan! 
Blijf op de hoogte! xoxo

You and I

You and I,
Are so alike,
Yet different,
I'm enjoying this,

You and I,
Look up at,
Nightly stars,
All the same,
See so different,

You and I,
Are so free,
Yet bound,
Somehow drawn,
To opposites...

You and I,
Are something,
Are something...

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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

My future self

First I always used to think when I could go back in time,
I would change so many things,
Take away all the pain,
And make everything okay,
But just now...
As I am getting older,
I started to realize,
That maybe having experienced all that,
Has made me the person I was always longing to become,
Maybe it helpen me get where I wanted to go,
In a very unusual way...
I looked into the mirror,
Into my own eyes,
And started to smile,
We are not the weight of all of our memories,
Nor are we the scars that where left on our skin,
We are only what we believe ourselves to be,
In whatever kind of way you want to see,

Do something today that you future will thank you for.

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Monday, September 15, 2014

His year...

He's got his hair long and stuffed in hats,
Not brushed and his hands crushed,
Eyes as little as the stars,
Not shining yet for the morning is no time,
He sleeps by day and lives by night,
Has only gotten drunkin' pride,
I wish I could just call him up,
But he won't answer till the morning coffee cup,
So I'll just wait,
Watch him go down, down, down,
Down, down, down he's falling...
Now I can't see what he is trying to find,
As long as it will be getting behind,
I can find myself in finding him,
No more worry's in the I am sorry's,
He never calls and he never stands up,
Cause down, down, down, down,
He's falling down...
Maybe it's just that it not his time,
Not his summer,
Not his weekend,
Yet when he's playing his songs,
Dances al night long,
It could really all turn out fine,
It could be his year... Maybe?
This will be his year...

maybe it's not my weekeind but it's gonna be my year.

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All credits for this perfect gif go to +Lanna sixx :D

I don't love you, I love you, You know...

He said he wanted me to say it,
He never hear me say,
That I loved him...

I looked at him,
As my eyes started to fill with tears,
I replied to him,
Oh my dear it's in every word I speak,
Don't you hear it?

It's in the littles words I tell you,
Between nose and lips,
As the "Don't you take a jacket, it could get cold.."
Or "Don't text while you're driving babe"
In the "I like that shirt on you, it colors so good..."

It in everything I do,
Saving you the last piece of cake,
Buying birthday presents even when we agreed not to,
In the way I like to stand back,
Get al little behind,
So you can walk up frond,
And I can watch you shine...

He was silent a few minutes,
As he then took my hand and said,
"We fit together under the umbrella,
You'll get a cold if you only have that hat..."

And I smiled,
Because I knew,
And he did too.

in case of love at first sight...

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You and I

You and I,
Were beautiful,
Yet you left me hysterical...

You and I,
Were one of a kind,
Hard to find,
No longer blind
Unable to rewind...

You and I,
Had something amazing,
It made me sing,
Our little thing,
Was my everything...

she wants a boy to look at her while she's smiling with friends,
and doing stupid things, she wants him to think...
"damn I love that girl"

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you're missing it...

I wait besides the window,
With a little light on,
The curtains half open,
And half closed,
Will you be there tonight?

Over this darkness below,
In the hope it will show,
You're bones resting beneath,
So again I can breathe...

In this cold cold night,
For a star to fill my wish,
For a you on my lips, a kiss,
You could make everything alright,
If only you where here tonight...

Missing you,
Missing it,
You're missing it...

If you start to miss me...
Remember I didn't walk away, you let me go.

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Sunday, September 14, 2014

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

As they read the words,
To this crowd out loud,
I thought not of you,
The one who had written them,
But of me,
And me only,
It was like I was looking in the mirror,
Yet then with my ears,
Like someone was talking about me,
Without realizing that I was there,
As well in the same air,
It was like for the first time,
I suddenly saw,
That that reflection that haunts me,
That the mirror might be,
As hurtful to everyone and not only me,
As I came home and took a look,
I saw in there,
A girl not afraid anymore,
A girl that so much more sure,
I saw myself,
Just the way I am...
And I said to the reflection,

one of a kind

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black 'n white,
little letters on the side.
I'm a paper bag writer now...

it seems so unreal,
that somebody would feel,
my words as theirs...
I'm a paper bag writer now...

words printed with ink,
it has not even had a little time to sink,
I'm a paper bag writer now...

I'm a paper bag writer now...

I'm a paperbag writer now...

What ya think?! :D

Read my mind

I can read you're mind,
Dont try to scam me,
I can see,
Everything you think...

I can read you're mind,
Know you like the back of my hand,
Don't think I cant understand,
What you're thinking...

I can read you're mind,
Better then my own,
Tell me if you known,
Yourself as Well as you know me,
Cant you see?

I can read you mind,
And if can read mine,
Dont' you think we belong together?
For I do...
I do...
because you're eyes said you were feeling it too.

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Become a stranger

I met you're eyes the other day,
Smiled at you and walked away,
How can something I used to call my own now feel strage to me?

I spoke with you the other week,
Met youre eyes as we speak,
How can this I used to love so much no feel so unreal? 

I saw you there the other day,
We at eachother yet walked away,
How can someone I used to call my own now become a strager to me?

You walked pass me the other day,
You didnt greet me whatever way,
How can someone I used to know as mine now act like a stranger to me? 

you won't even realize until you dance in the shower again and,
wonder why you ever stopped.

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Friday, September 12, 2014

Met you, lost you, cost me.

Suddenly there you where,
I idd not know Wheter to dare,
Show that I still care, 

As we walked along something felt strange,
We were so out of range, 
I just then realised the change,

We're out of touch,
When I just feel to much,
For a waste that such,

When time stood still, 
You'd cured my every ill,
But it was only untill,

You walked along,
I stumbled on,
From a love so strong...

Now I've met you,
Then I lost you,
And it cost me...

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Did you dream?

I am so confused,
I get these little panic attacks,
Whenever you get close,
This time I just froze,
I looked down so you wont see,
Me, the mess I am,
Yet in a glince I saw,
You looked the way I feel,
So maybe you had a night just like mine,
One where sleep is hard to find,
Maybe you fell a sleep the same as I,
Maybe you Dreamed a little dream of us..

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Thursday, September 11, 2014


I love to post #tbt pictures on +Instagram ,
Only in the hope that you'll see them,
That you browse through when you're sitting in the train,
When you travel home bored,
You see a picture you took of me there,
Or something only we know we shared,
And that you'll get thrown back...
Just I as have for all this time,
Just as I did...
Oh how I wish,
That you would see,
Even the littlest trigger to be,
To think a tiny second of me,
For someone who is always in you're head,
For someone who keeps coming back,
Maybe they are someones that never left...?
A throw back forever,
I'll be waiting for that...

+Tyler Knott Gregson

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Go and get you're wish

Have you ever heard someone say,
Wishing upon stars,
I always hear so many things like this...
And I don't understand,
How someone on this earth can depend,
On a star far away,
That cannot guaranty a wish,
They all stated that maybe,
It was a plane or car,
Instead of a wish on a star,
All I can hear is possibilities,
When they don't even see,
For maybe it was better to wish on a car or a plane,
For they take you places,
Get you where you've always wanted to been,
Or to the school where you can learn who you want te be,
Or the place to make everyone see,
That you don't need a wish,
You had a wish,
Made a plan, took a chance,
And went for it all the way,
That's what you should wish on...

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Only foundation left...

You and I,
We shared our love,
In a secret world,
In a dream, 
First there was just you and I,
Only two houses,
Yet as we dated and made,
All of these memories together,
The street started growing,
More houses came on the block,
And parks had grown,
A little town shop had opened up,
A playground was built,
Not to forget a old corny brown pub,
All we ever needed,
Was right there in our love,
In our dreams on our block,
But when you're mind failed,
When you're heart got a attack,
So did our little world,
It is hard to find now,
Devastated to the ground,
Tell me boy...
Who I am,
When all that's left of me is foundation?

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Wednesday, September 10, 2014

After we walked away

I read in one of my psychology books once,
That when people know things about you,
Like random stuff or facts,
That they seem to get more attached,
Before I read it I never showed anything,
Let along tell,
Why would I even bother,
It was not like I am an interesting person or anything,
But well what was the hurt in trying right?
So I started to say these things that define me like...
How I love socks with glitters or dots,
And that I love the writer +John Green,
How I like to sing under the shower as the biggest +Taylor Swifties in the world,
Or that I have more hats then sunshades,
All that kind of stuff...
And as stupid as it sounds,
It seemed to work,
For it was not only about me saying something,
Or opening up a bit more to someone,
It was because things like that come up spontaneously,
And you can laugh about them...
Yet the most beautiful was when,
I told you once,
That in Germany was the best pizza I have ever had,
And we went there together,
Yet the store was different, Other owner.. Other pizza,
And even though it was an unverifiable fact now,
You still bring it up sometimes,
Making me smile,
For you still remember every tiny detail,
Of our days...
Even now when we've walked away...

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Won't do second heartbreaks

You came around and begged me for a dance,
Without ant thought I gave it a chance...

And oh we got the spotlight put on us,
All the talks and looks and fuss,

They had never seen a couple,
Move so exactly double,

We where a perfect fit,
Everyone had to admit,

But you left the dance floor,
Let me alone for an empty door,

Now I am a big believer in second chances,
So when you begged we took some more dances,

But that time you shot me in the heart,
When for our forth dance you did not show up for the start,

Here I am hurting,
There you go flirting,

Come around knocking on my door,
Saying it's sure you want more,

But I won't make second mistakes,
I won't do second heart breaks...

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facts pact

A late warm september night,
We stood under the star light,
Gazing at the stars,
No where around the sound,
Of anything not even cars,
We stood there on the ground,
Silently speaking,
Love geeking,
When I told you about you're eyes,
How they never tell lies,
When you said,
I always do that with my heart,
I knew then and there,
That I still care,
I am in love with you,
And tere is nothing I can do,
You and I we know these facts,
Not because they are told,
But because we saw them,
And considered them gold...
No let make a facts pact,
I'll promise to always cherish,
If you'll always remember...

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sorry I am for me

You weren't there,
Not even to pretend you care,
It wasn't worth a fight...
I know that I acted stupid,
And I did careless things,
But only because I wanted to...
Hear you say that you,
Rather make up then fight,
But you never did,
I am sorry if it buggs you,
I am sorry you're not fine,
But to ask me to hold back,
Would be so out of line!
I am sorry that you and I,
Will never be a we,
But not as sorry as I am for waiting,
Not as sorry as I am for me...

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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

But if we where...

I looked you in the eye,
I almost drove insane,
For you did not look back,
They way you used to,
So frightened that I might not see you,
Might not recognize you're eyes...

It was different this time,
So much was not in place,
I am kind of confused,
For I just kept on and refused,
The facts that where staring at me...

You and me,
In every kind of way,
Things between us will never be okay,
I resent you for you're manners and words,
And you hate me for not being who you,
Hoped and thought I had to be...

And now here we are,
To see that maybe,
There is no fault in all this love,
And in all this sad movie endings,
Maybe we just...
Were not the one's for each other...

Oh but if we where...

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Come and get it

Looking back in time,
Back to when you where mine,
I can see it all too clear,
We where so blind,

And if we want it,
Why won't we get it?
If you want this,
Won't you come and get it?

Traveling back in time,
To the end of the line,
I can see the shining,
On our faces,

If it was so clear,
Tell me my dear,
If you want it,
Come and get it,

I'll let go of my heart,
If you'll let go of you're head,
If we could just...
Feel it now,
Feel it all,
Feel it now,
Oh how, how, how...

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Best part of me

Dreaming on the floor,
My soul drifted trough the door,
But somehow I want more...

Living in my mind,
Only words so kind,
Peace here is not hard to find...

Sleeping in my bed,
Movies filling up my head,
No way I could ever forget...

My soul so free,
This part of me,
That will always be,
The best of me...

I don't know about you...

I could say,
That I don't like him,
And it would be true,
For I think,
I am falling for him,
Or might have fallen already,
I don't even know,
If I know what for,
But I jumped anyway,
Without any say,
He just doesn't know,
Nor will he ever know,
For I would never tell him,
I think,
Not before for me,
These feelings sink,
I don't know what to do,
I don't know bout you...

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Me, You & Him

Saw him,
Sitting at the corner of the bar,
Wondered if he,
Thought of me as much,
These past days as I did of him...

It made me think of you,
Wondered if you,
Thought of me as much,
As you did before,
When I believed there was,
Only you and me...

Saw him,
Asked myself if it was devious,
If I would fall in love with him,
You know because of...
...Values and all,
But then I realized we broke up,
Because you acted like a crazy person,
No boundaries or respect whatsoever,
So why would I wonder,
When I could have him...

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Monday, September 8, 2014


I was talking and dancing and drinking,
Just what we do when going out,
He said to me,
How did it end with him yesterday?
And I was shocked,
Almost surprised,
He laughed when I said I was,
For he just saw it different,
He liked it for me,
Even if everybody would hate me for it,
He would be oaky...
It was the sweetest kind of reassurance I ever had,
Thank you...

Thank you for making me smile! xoxo

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Not the one to blame...

I just can't get this out,
Out of my head,
Out of my system and all...

This devious way you shade,
Sticking to me like my shadow,
For only me to know...

You keep on trying to look in my eye,
Yet when I smile you turn you back,
You don't reply,
So why then do you even try?

I don't understand,
I really can't,
Why you would play these games...

I'm not the one to blame...

Don't blame it on me,
When you are not to be trusted...
Don't blame it on me,
When I believed you,
When you said we we're fine...

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our right time

I just pretend you're happy,
Act like it's fine,
Probably easier after all this time,
Talk to someone else,
Yet look in my eye,
I know you still love me,
You're still mine...
Won't you give this love a chance?
Cause I'd give anything,
Just to be you're something,
But it's not the right time,
Tomorrow's not the right time,
We will never find the right time...
Won't we?

I have so much hope, But it will never be the right time will it?

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Sunday, September 7, 2014

worried for you...

I talked to you're brother,
For like a hour or two,
And all the things he told me,
You wouldn't believe,
They just kept blurting out,
There was no stop,
And before you and me,
We talked about him,
And how we worried about,
What he was gonna do,
If he was okay and all,
Yet just now I realized,
That he feels the same way,
About you...
And he just kept calm and carried on,
For he was drunk,
I'd thought just as you,
But it was so different,
You get stubborn and mad,
Yet he became honest and humble,
What a difference indeed,
So it seems,
You should be the one I worry about...

r.m. drake quotes, are love itself...

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Saturday, September 6, 2014


I'll do a long long I am the cleanest and prettiest ladies in the whole wide world shower,
I'll put on the glittery bodylotion you liked the smell of,
Brush my hair and make it strait,
Put on the skinny jeans my ass comes absolutely unresistable out,
Paint my nails in the color you liked,
Hang on the same jewelry and earrings as that day,
I'll do it all the same,
The shoes, the perfume, the toothpaste, the ribbons in my hair,
I'll do it exactly the same,
Then maybe you'll remember just like me,
And we can stop this game...
Then maybe you'll travel back in time,
Just like me,
You'll see...
Us again...
The same way I do,

I love you 24/7 like a never ending job....


Friday, September 5, 2014

Be little again...

When I was just a little girl,
All I really wanted to be,
Was a big girl...

Then as people started to refer to me,
As my little brothers big sister,
I had to be a big girl,
All I wanted to be then was,
A girl,
That's how they called al te really "big" girls...

Then when I was "that" girl,
Or when I was "her",
All I wanted to be in my teen years was,
A grown up,
To be taken seriously and all...

Now that I have grown up,
All I really wish for,
Deep deep down inside,
When I talk to god at night,
Is just one more day as little kid,
So carefree and innocent,
All I really want...
...Is to be little again...

A child is like a butterfly, let them fly...

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You get up,
Get dressed before they hear you,
Hide and conceal you're bruises,
Look one more time in the mirror,
And walk out of you're room with a smile,
The one a clown wears,
Just as fake and forced as my aunt's hair,
So exaggerated as the jackets you're mom buys...
That are like way too big...

You wave as you walk to school,
When you turn te corner,
You start to look at the ground,
Trying so hard not to stand out,
Not to make eye contact,
If only the forgot about you for a day,
Then maybe you'll live this once,
Maybe you'll have a day without hits...

When the break comes,
You'll try to hang around as long as you can,
Making the break just a minute less longer,
It's one less name called,
Just stay against the wall,
A bit covered up,
Try not to let anyone notice you,
Accept for the teachers,
They might save you today,
Oh if they only once tried to save me...

It did not work,
They walk towards,
You try to sneak inside,
Yet all you get is detention,
The hits feel like fire,
Like cigarettes being put on you,
The spit on you,
They bring you down and come bak for an after kick,
They'll make sure you never speak of it...

So you pretent it did not happen,
You try to live in a fantasy world,
Where all is good,
And everyone had a life,
And nobody gets hurt,
Yet that's just fantasy,
Reality is so much bitterder,
You just sit there all the passing minutes in hell,
Until the school bell rings,
You get out as fast as you can an run home,
Hoping you are faster then them,
That you'll beat them at this round,
But you never do...

AS you make the turn back around home,
You'll talk about this wonderful day at school,
Pretend, act, do as if,
God I should be on gossip girl,
I can act as if my life depends on it,
For it has for at least 8 years...

Then as you lay in bed,
When you hear the breaths of you're parents and you're little brother smooth and ritmic,
When you're sure there asleep,
You slip in the bathroom,
Look at the things they did to you're body today... again,
The bruises and the cuts and the bloody noses,
You'll heal them as good as you can,
With you're tiny child fingers...

As the morning arrives after a sleepless night,
You'll force a smile in the morning again,
And nobody ever sees,
How broken you really are...
Just go on pretent,
Until one day,
It is too late...

Take what you need, being bullied is hard, hurtful, take care....

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Where were you..?

When the heavens cracked open,
And the skies fell down,
Where were you?

When my world shivered,
And all came to an end...
Where were you?

When my heart got shattered,
Into a million broken pieces,
Where were you?

When I sufferd unbearable pain,
More scarred then ever before,
Where were you?

When I had questions,
And needed someone to hold me...
Where were you?

When I let go of myself,
And trusted you to catch me,
Where were you?

Where were you?
Have you been hiding?
Did I heard you wrong?

Where were you...
Where were you...
We could have prevented this...
You could have prevented this...
Heart break....
This all...

You could have saved me,
Where were you,

where were you

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Thursday, September 4, 2014

Dreams come alive...

It is almost there,
The day that I hold my dream in my hand,
When all my can't turn into can's,
When my wishes turn into wished,
When I am, what I could have been,
When I become what I've always wished to seen,
I never thought that I might one day be,
What I wrote about,
That my dreams would be spoken about,
That I could hear the words out loud...
It is so strange that life's can change,
Just as fast as the weather...
I could have never imagined,
That people would like my stories,
Let along recognize them,
Or be willing to read more of them,
And now that is just something,
Like facts are facts,
It is so unreal that what uses to be so far away,
Suddenly is so in reach and close,
This unreachable daydream I've got to a hold...
My life seems to be dip dyed in gold...
The happiest girl in the world,
Is who I meet in the mirror every day now... :))

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Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Late October night...

One late October night,
We there was no more traffic light,
Him and I we walked,
And in this even stroll we talked n' talked n' talked,
Until the dawn was breaking,
And the twilight appeared,
Up to the moment when we both feared,
That we might have fallen for each other,
But we didn't dare to care like we bother,
To say it out loud,
Now its all I dream about...
He did say to me in the morning sun,
That my struggles did not define me,
My life has just begun,
I loved him for saying that,
For showing he is the one knowing,
Me, like the back of his hand,
I gave him one last kiss on his forehead,
But I kinda wish I've said,
" I love you..."
No matter what would have been the outcome,
Everything is better then what I've done,
Oh nothing...
I said nothing, nothing at all...
On that late October night...


You're smile is my paradise...

I'll see you soon,
I'm sure of that...
Yet I am not sure,
That I will see you smile,
No worries though,
For I've always known,
Just how to lighten you up,
It's like I've saved,
Some of you're joy in a cup,
For a day that it not so bright,
I could pour it on you,
Let it soak in,
And watch you're happiness begin,
It is so good to hear to laugh,
Feel so perfect to watch over you,
It's like you're smile,
Is my heaven on earth,
You're smile is my paradise...

I love you're smile

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