Brother Sister Day.

Driving trough the streets today,
With the windows down,
It's hard not to think,
About the endless summers,
We shared on that boat dock.

Driving trough the streets tonight,
With the light flickering,
To the beat of the music,
How hard not to shout,
Like we used to at the sound,
Of Coldplay, ACDC or The Rolling Stones...

Driving in the lane,
Turning to park and re-do it,
I can hear you tell me,
That this is not the way,
Or the angle,
As you always did.

Step into my place,
So cold and silent,
Without your tv show on,
Things you thought,
You'd never miss,
You suddenly do...

Now that I am full grown,
Living on my own,
I can only say that I found,
We have an incredible bound,
That's what brothers and sisters are for,
A connection with the past,
With your roots and your future,
A best friend by birth.

All the nights your protect me from danger I
do not see, oh you the best big bro for me.

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Come and get it.

Come and get it,
Won't you come and get it,
This present I hold,
For you,
To be your presence,
Come and get it,
Won't you come and get it,
All this love,
For you,
I'm falling into,
Love,
Won't you,
Come and get it?
Cause I'm ready,
For you,
To...
Come and get it.

If your ready, I'm ready, Come and get it,
All this love I feel for you,
Cause these daydreams won't seem to.

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Accounted for

Funny it is,
How sometimes,
People burst into,
Your life as if,
They where all you,
Never missed,
When now,
Even funnier it seems,
That some can sneak in,
Be there without you,
Being aware,
Of how you grow,
Into loving them,
The one's you never knew,
Had your back,
Listened so well,
Have you under their spell,
The one's that you,
Never have to miss,
Those are the one's,
That count,
Oh darling,
You would not believe,
How accounted for you are.

Maybe we can clear out the old and make some new memories,
The very next time,
Lasting memories comes around.

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Backpack hack.

As I could no longer concentrate,
I decide I could not decide,
Wheter or not to help out faith,
I wish I could tell you,
All these things I am feeling,
Yet am I terrified,
Petrified to tell you,
All these things,
I've been discovering lately,
Honestly, I've been thinking,
About the day up ahead,
The path we could treath,
Darling I ask you,
In only a matter of days,
Will you join me?
On this road to roam,
For I think two souls,
That finally found,
Worth of a thousand year scearch,
Would perfectly fit,
Together...
As I could no longer concentrate,
I decide I would not decide,
On this today,
So I wrote this down.

Let's share a backpack to the end of the world.

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Feasting on my heart.

Found my answer,
When I started to write,
About you,
Never before,
Had I ever used,
My own name,
In combination,
With the significant other,
In my stories,
Yet now,
Without any thought,
I did,
And in that,
The answer lays,
You are the one,
That changes everything,
You are,
The only one,
Who makes me feel,
Like this,
And only love,
Could be the thing,
That's feasting on my heart.

I'm so happy that you are the one that changed me and my story,
Thank you for that.

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What doesn't kill you, let's you live.

"Literature",
He called the words,
I roam to find,
Truth in the madness,
We so relentlessly live in,
Yet, it is not.

"Poetry",
Thy call it,
The poems here,
To be labeled,
As something that must fit,
Inside a box,
When it surely can not.

"Writer",
Is my name,
On the streets now,
But is it truthful,
When every single soul,
On this planet,
Writes,
To call me a writer?

All these words they mention,
Fail to see one thing,
They name it as my cure,
Yet poetry will not save you,
Literature does not shelter you from harm,
Nor does making me a writer,
Is letting me fit in.

All these things thy see in me,
When honestly,
We are all lost,
And so are our words,
Empty yet out in the open,
Words can not save us,
Yet our salvation can be words,
Literature, poetry and writers for example,
They hand us their last breath,
As we read out loud,
The words.

Poetry could not save me,
Hold the bullet,
Yet...
Poetry could never let me die either,
It just was there in a constant state,
On my side,
Maybe that is the only thing we can hope for,
Something on our side,
Even if it are words.

Literature, poetry and writing will not save you,
Yet words have never killed me either. 

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Beginning.

From the outside,
Looking in,
Was never fun,
I can not remember,
I ever laughed upon that,
Yet last night I did,
The smile I could feel,
Forming on my face,
Was perfectly in place,
For they are so my own,
That their happiness,
Is mine as well,
Thy where so happy,
As in times I had not seen,
Their faces light up like this,
I felt it inside my bones too,
The igniting feeling,
Of the beginning of things,
The mystery,
The longing,
The flow,
I am only hoping,
That is only the begin,
Of so much more left,
To share.

I loved their beginning as much, as they. I think it's in the way,
They are so much my own, that I long to see smiles stick on their faces.
For that I would play all my ases. 

She doesn't even know.

The way you say,
That I am beautiful,
Makes me almost believe,
Yet the fact,
That you add,
It's sad that I just don't know,
It all myself,
Has me wondering,
If you are as serious,
About these matters we share,
As am I,
For thy al say the same,
I do not know,
What I am worth,
Then why would you mention?
What that worth is,
Maybe I am too damaged to understand,
But I would never tell you,
Just how much more,
Then me, you deserve,
For if you'd knew,
I am sure you'd leave me,
Then again,
Maybe that's what I can not,
See myself,
But I wouldn't mind,
If you'd spend forever,
Trying to make me see.

You really have no clue how beautiful you are,
Do you? 

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Maybe more then two.

She could find herself,
In the littlest things,
Like sunshine and laughter,
Or the desire to be at two places,
At the same time,
Not knowing,
She always was.
I can not recall,
A moment in time,
That she was with me,
In the right here,
Right now,
She'd always been wondering,
Off into space,
Into her dreams or imagination,
The way her eyes would gaze,
Made it pretty sure to me,
That there was only one,
My only one,
Ever since that day,
I have not once met,
A woman quite like her,
I told her,
Go ahead,
I'll find another you,
Now I find her,
In the littlest things,
Like the smell of the rain,
Songs we used to sing,
Every thing that I miss,
Not knowing,
She always was,
The only one,
Inside my heart,
The only one,
At two places at the same time,
Carried inside my heart,
And where she really was.

She was at two place at the same time,
In my heart, and where she was herself.
Forever she'll be, as she wished,
In two places, at the same time. 

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Hold on to letting go.

Find myself,
Where I have,
Not been before,
Some might state,
I am lost,
Yet your eyes,
They look at me,
Like I am home,
I have found,
The parts,
Of a once shattered heart,
The last one,
Firmly clanched inside,
Your fingertips,
Last lesson to learn,
I ask you,
As you puzzle me,
"How can I hold on to this?"
I don't want to lose myself,
Nor you, I can not,
"Let it all go..."
You told me,
So I went on and got gone,
Now I seem to find,
That by letting it go,
I did not let go of myself or thy,
Gravity was all I lost,
Now I am falling,
As never before...

You make me feel, As if I had never been understood,
By anyone else before...
In letting go of it all, In forgetting the world with you,
I finally found something to hold on to.

Thank you for that. 

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Unsullied are thy names.

I was not bullied,
Thy only hit me,
With their bullet,
Every single day,
Until thy decided,
It was time,
To push me,
I got buried,
Not six foot under,
Yet six foot on me,
Holding me down,
In order of the crown,
How damned we are,
In this one horse town,
When you won't ever,
Be the one,
I was not bullied,
Thy are unsullied,
I asked for it,
Every single hit,
I begged for apparently,
Longing to die,
By the hands of thy.

But I'm a supergirl, and supergirls don't cry...

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Bombshell to tell.

Words,
Mean so little,
When thy lack,
Intention.

Words,
Hollow sounds,
Stringing together,
In order to,
Say something.

But did you?
Spoke?
Or merely provoke?

Your mouth,
Is dirty,
So damned,
We shall be,
When colliding,
Into a conversation,
With thy.

The air you release,
Is not a tease,
More then a disease.

I ask you,
If alone you may speak,
What would the world look like?

You would not want to live there,
I'd refuse too so I think,
How hard it must be,
To always stray,
With words bigger then you can handle,
How alone must you be,
When you say you love me?

And bombshell over bombshell you drop at me...

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Sad girls.

Sad girl...

If only you'd learned before,
Someone had told you,
You have the right to be,
The right to exist,
It was yours when you were born,
You don't have to own it,
You never had to...

If only they told you.

That's how f*cked up we are.

Everything is falling apart,
When it seems as if,
It's coming together at the same time.

Sad girl...

Stop proving yourself,
Your worth so much more.

Just because you have not found yourself, does not mean,
That you are lost.

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No rules.

Days turn to weeks,
Since I last,
Felt the warmth,
On my skin,
Not only to begin,
To mention,
The way I miss,
You in moments,
We never shared,
How odd am I,
Now that for once,
I am the one,
Falling first,
Without logic,
Without reasons,
Here I find myself,
Thinking of you,
All the time,
When it does not,
Feels as if time passes at all,
Maybe in that lays,
Why I fancy you,
Too much already,
You make me forget,
All the things that,
Used to consume me,
Like time, rules and reasons,
I do not need them anymore,
I alone need you.

Oh, I am so utterly, devestatingly falling for you..

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Knock knock

Driving trough the streets tonight,
Is there a way I can turn,
So I turn to you?

Wondering in my thoughts tonight,
Is there a thought undiscovered,
For me to discover, you?

Dreaming in my bed at night,
I'm feeling like I am lost,
Won't you tuck me in?

Standing in the door I see,
That I am blocking in and out,
Won't you help me out?

You've knocked me down...

To be or not to be is not a question.

Never,

I intended,

To become,

A poet,

At any point,

Of time,

Thy all,

Seem to think,

It was a choice,

To be made,

Yet the choice,

Was not mine,

It made itself,

And in that,

It made me,

I never desired,

To be a poet,

It happend,

What I wished,

Longed for,

Only thousand years,

Was to be,

Someone else's poem,

No one loved me,

No one wrote,

For you can not write,

About a girl so broken,

No words exist,

You can not rhyme,

Words with someone who,

Does not love herself,

So poetry I cried,

Tears to paper forming words,

For those longing,

To be written about,

To be remembered,

Even when they,

Are so easily forgotten.

He is exactly the poem I wanted to write - Mary Oliver.

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Lost love.

You can not own,
What you choose,
To let loose,
You can not hold on,
To what you let go,
You can not wish,
For the love,
You threw in the trash,
You can not love me,
Out of fear,
That I might love,
Someone else,
One day,
I will no longer be,
Standing here,
Empty hearts,
Will be filled,
If not yours then,
Someone else will,
You can not own,
What you gave away,
Stop trying to win me back,
When there is no place,
For me inside your heart,
You can not love me merely,
For I might fall in love,
With someone else,
Cause darling,
I already did,
Lost love is all I left for you,
Lost love is what I have for you,
Lost love is the thing remaining true,
Lost love between me and you.

They never warn you about the most addictive drug of all,
Love.

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Fear of fear.

No longer,

Have I,

The power,

To dare,

Share,

These thoughts,

Bursting,

Inside my head.

I withhold,

These screams,

Roaring in fear,

Of my cares,

Caring too much,

For you,

Opinions,

Too much to handle,

For my hands.

Ask you,

Quietly,

If you desire,

To pull once more,

At the wires,

Mixed up,

Make me,

Feel again,

Think,

As I am aught to.

Oh heal me,

Take this reverie,

I am in,

Turn it around,

For apparently,

We are not,

Equipped ourselves,

To do so. 

Don't look at me...
I was not honest.
I can not tell you,
What I think,
For I fear you might fear my,
Thoughts. 

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Stick 'n drums

How odd it is to me,
That you so suddenly,
With or without intention,
Can leave a mark,
On this life inside me,
On the beating of my heart,
It beats as the sticks,
Falling to your drums,
Summing me up to,
A range of possibilities,
I hope I am the one,
You take to make your,
Here and now,
You know how,
I desire to be,
Your here and now.

I want all that life is for with you, you, you.

Follow me.

Haunted,

By your smell,

That hangs around,

I can tell,

Without leaving a linger,

For anyone else,

I still feel your finger,

On my lips,

I gently caress,

The lack of distress,

You so relentlessly,

Quite unlike any man,

Put on all over my sleeve,

My heart is now,

Covered,

By a love,

Yet to be discovered,

Haunting as it sounds,

Haunting it is,

The question of,

When,

It is we meet again.

It follows me around,

As my eyes follow the way,

Your chest moves with every breath,

Haunted, I am. 

Meeting you, took some time, but I understand it now,
How blind I was...

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Beyond compare

Was there a moment,

Place or time when we,

Had met more perfectly,

I'll you darling,

It would not have worked,

For the history we share,

Is beyond compare,

Worth just as much,

As the way I can feel,

Your lips touching mine,

If it where not with,

Such a detour and turn,

I would not have learned,

Who it is I am,

Or that you are worth,

So much more then I thought,

You are,

So much more then I thought.

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If I be right.

If I be wrong,
There is less,
If I be right,
Then there might,
Be more,
In store,
For you and I,
I'd love to try,
Give this a spin,
Only to begin,
To find out,
What love,
Could be about,
For you make it,
So damn obvious,
I have been lost,
Delerious,
In the idea,
That love could be,
Anything less then this,
So if I be wrong,
Then I guess thy lied,
If I be right,
You might,
Be the only one,
Here and now.

I wonder what my lips look like to you,
When my nerves come out,
As a pile of word spilled puke...

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Confess to Happiness

Soon I came to notice,
That in this life we live,
Often so as if it demands us,
To breath in automatic motion,
We forget that feeling things,
The beating of our heart,
And the toughts we strike,
Shouldn't be automatic,
See happiness is not something,
Or someone,
It is inside of you,
Like all of your demons,
In every nerve, every cell you own,
It may multiply or be ill,
All up to you my friend,
The sooner you see,
What struck me as purpose,
The sooner you'll be,
Completely free,
There is no one to complete you,
Nothing that will make you happy,
No goals to be chased,
Merely you have yourself,
Thank God for that cause,
Yourself is all you need,
Everything you are,
Everything you will ever be,
Lays inside of you stored out on display,
The moment you are at peace,
With all these things stored there,
Is the moment the pure happiness,
Inside of you springs off as a cancer,
Growing without a stop,
Until happiness has possessed all of you,
Until you are happiness itself.

Happiness depends upon ourselves - Aristotle quotes. 

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Arm Candy

Saw you in a shimmer,
Start to drown,
I know what I am aught to do,
Yet I can not so I know,
Merely I can be,
Nice arm candy,
I won't ever be able to,
Do the things you ask,
I will not ever be the first,
The one to still the thirst,
For love you have,
Cause I need love myself,
More then you think,
I am sinking inside,
With no more power to withhold,
Nothing left to be told,
And nowhere to hide,
My light is fading,
I feel so clearly,
I only pray that these,
Shimmers you give me,
Won't carry me away...
That thy won't carry me away...
If you do take me as candy for the arm,
Let me be the one with the greatest charm,
So that I can always be close,
To the place I call home,
So that forever more I'll be,
In your arms,
Make me yours.

Let me be your favourite arm candy... 

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One little thing

If I where to mention,

One little thing,

Then you would be,

Never free,

For the beat,

Of your heart,

Calms my nerves,

In such a way,

That for the first time,

I can say,

All of the things,

I hold back,

Withdrawl,

Swallow,

It flows like,

The tears that,

Used to pour out of me,

Now alone you will hear,

Falling the laughter,

Instead of tripping over,

Lightwheight,

If I where to mention,

One little thing,

I would not be naming you,

For you matter, 

More then I thought you do,

More then I want anyone to,

You are a big thing...

In a sea full of nothings.

Sometimes the littlest things take up the most room,
in your heart. -- Winnie The Pooh.

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Rewell.

Maybe,
Rebellion,
Is not doing the opposite,
Of what everyone else,
Is doing,
For that merely sounds,
As the opposite,
Maybe,
Rebellion,
Is doing whatever the hell,
You please,
Not deliberately hurting people,
Or trying to provoke mainstream,
But just being yourself,
Unapologetic,
If so,
Then I am not half as,
Rebellious as they all think I am,
Or wel so I think at least,
Maybe the not pleasing,
Who you are supposed to please,
Is just as going with the flow,
As everyone else you know,
Yet when there are no mask and lies,
When you forgive the endless tries,
And just be to hell with though who you feel,
Inside your own soul,
With the love you feel for a mate,
I think it is aught to be,
The best kind of free and...
In need of a little rebellious heart as well,
Don't be just another rebel,
Just be re(ally)well.

In a society that profits from your self doubt,
liking yourself is a rebellious act.

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Wash away.

Here I sit,
Drinking my sorrow,
Away once again,
Flashing back to when,
There was still a time,
To look ahead,
When I used to say,
If only I am 21,
Then I will be,
Finally free,
Yet I am not,
Still as bound,
To the ground,
As anyone else...
So I drink,
And drink,
Until I sink,
Into the alcohol,
Til all of my problems,
Have been,
Washed away...

Kill me inside out and outside in, your the only one
that wants me to die.. -- Agnus and Julia Stone, Yours.

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Voices

At some days,
I get so lost inside my mind,
So many voices,
That adress to me,
I can no longer see,
Who of them is my own,
I am to many persons,
All at once,
Maybe that makes me crazy,
Or on other hand,
Maybe it makes me a writer,
For I can crawl into,
Each and every skin,
The same that I've been,
Thinking in,
All these voices are free,
To take away the last,
Words of me.

Think think think think think think think

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Clean.

The thing is,
My heart is like my bedroom,
Messy and chaotic,
Always filled with stuff,
Too much to see trough,
Heavy loaded with,
Useless items,
Stained clothes,
That are supposed to,
Be in the trash,
Or get cleaned out,
But somehow I always,
Seem to distract myself,
With pleasure,
Only to stop myself,
From cleaning it out,
From emptying,
My heart,
And all the love lost.

Pieces of everyone I met in my life are shattered and puzzled into
a kaleidoscope of memories I can not ever seem to forget.

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Just began.

All at once,
That is,
If nothing ever happens,
How it feels,
When winds of change,
Are brought into,
The game,
Oh life, life, life,
The sharp of the blunt,
Way around the heart,
It does not matter,
For once day,
It will be stung,
As if it has never began,
To live before this moment,
I know now,
I know now,
Oh, how I know,
That my life,
Has just began.

You puzzled me, and now, I have learned,
Not to puzzle myself,
Time is to precious,
To spend all on questions I can not answer.

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You see merely your shadow.

At my insomniated nights,

I used to crawl out my window,

Sit on the roof and stare,

Just stop all that I was thinking bout,

Gaze at the universe,

I wonder then,

About the galaxies inside,

My mind,

Why the hell,

Would anyone want to,

Make sense of that?

Yet you did,

Without warning me,

You suddenly said,

All the things I am afraid,

To tell myself,

You know which constellations,

I have and have not,

Witch to adres,

And when to dismiss,

The stars that are just too bright,

For this love,

If I may,

Let my thoughts flow,

I'd only think,

You are what I dream of,

Only when I am awake,

For I am frightened to wake up,

If I'd found you in my dreams as well...

Stay,

Phantom me,

Learn me to read myself,

The way you seem to master me. 

Stars shine brighter then you think,
For daling you are a star,
And all you see,
Is merely your shadow.

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Fly for you....

Never,
Do I fall,
For I do not,
Believe in gravity,
I flow,
By my own rules,
Not following,
The stream,
Of the seen one's,
I'd rather be invisible,
Forgettable,
Only so that,
I won't ever get hurt,
Yet here I find myself,
With broken wings,
When I thought,
I had not jumped,
I did, Oh I did,
Fall for you as any,
Other girl would,
Will you find me,
A new pair of wings?
Cause I'm not much for falling,
But for you I would.

These angel wings won't fly... But we could try...

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Miss me?

It is not that I need you,
Not even that I want you,
Let along have any desire,
To be the one on your mind at all,
Not even do I ask you to remember me,
For memories are fake,
They are offsprings of the moment itself,
Not even do I ask you to,
Say anything to me,
We don't have to stay in touch,
The only thing is that I honestly,
Thought,
Silly as it sounds now,
That you would miss me,
Least of all I thought that you'd miss me...
Funny thing is,
The only one that is missing,
Is you from me,
Not me from you.

Never get too attached to,
Something that isn't yours...

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Break it to make it.

Isn't it strange how calm,
We can be during the storm,
Only to collapse afterwards,
Strange, oh so strange to me,
For if we where,
To shut down in the middle,
Of the storm,
We would be little,
But just as heavy as before,
Maybe even heavier,
So the storm would be unable,
To hurt us and hit us,
In the way it does,
As we keep on standing,
Maybe that's why,
You are always stronger then you think,
For we endure more pain,
Only so we can learn the lesson,
We think we need to learn,
Cause honestly,
What is the reason for you,
To choose to make life harder then it is?
It will not make you wiser,
Or deeper, or better or really anything,
Accept for less happier,
So collapse,
Fall apart,
Shatter,
Crumble,
You are worth it.

How can emptiness be so heavy?
I wonder to myself as I scroll trough we heart it over and over.

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Foods with roots.

You used to be,
So at peace,
Beautifully happy,
Inside your own world,
Until it got ripped,
Now here you are,
Alone and scared,
Broken down,
To heart and soul,
Nothing more,
Body has been shattered,
Stripped down,
And smashed,
Your family as well,
Nothing remains,
Only thing you do now,
Is return to the universe,
Give back the energy,
You took,
Broken down and mixed up,
You'll get cooked,
Eaten up by greedy teeth,
You'll warm the belly,
Of starving people,
Only to hand them,
All you ever was,
In order to keep,
The balance on earth,
To live and to die,
To take and to give,
To be a carrot,
And to turn to hodgepodge,
It's in you foods...
You are your roots.

Wortels.

Jij was eens,
Zo vredig,
Mooi gelukkig,
In je eigen plek,
Tot het werd verscheurd,
Nu ben je hier,
Bang en alleen,
Gebroken tot,
Je hart en ziel,
Niets meer,
Je lichaam is verpletterd,
Gestript tot bot,
Kapot gestamd,
Ook je familie,
Niemand bleef bespaard,
Het enigste wat je nu kan,
Is terug geven aan het universum,
De energie wederkeren,
Die je nam,
Verscheurd en verpletterd,
Wordt je kokend heet,
Gegeten door hebberige tanden,
Zul je de magen verwarmen,
Van verhongerde mensen,
Alleen om hen te geven,
Alles wat jij ooit was,
Zodat het oog ligt,
Op de balans van de aarde,
Te leven is te sterven,
Te geven is te nemen,
Te groeien als wortel,
Is te worden stamppot,
Het zit nu eenmaal,
In je wortels.

I saw a carrot this big, no lie.
Cute bunny huh?! :)

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Little big things

Words,
My all,
Seem to,
Hold little,
Now that,
You took,
All I am,
With you,
Taken my words,
From my mind,
My mouth,
Stole my thoughts,
Poured them,
Around like,
Sprinkles of emotion,
My voice,
Does not tremble,
Does not roar,
My voice is not here,
Anymore,
Anymore,
I have nothing,
To say,
My words,
My all,
Seem so little,
Now that I am,
No longer so small,
Words aren't the only one,
You are,
The only one,
To hold my soul,
Inside your hands,
I beg you,
Don't draw your sword,
You are,
The only one,
That is me,
That is my words,
Even when they are,
Little... This is big.

Silence me, and remember, that I am here,
If you come back around, know, that have become the
world to me, for you know I exist,
Even when I don't. 

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Chivalric stinging emotion

Ostensible,
His blood,
Is or must,
Be good.

His name,
Tells me so,
But does it,
Lie?

Can a name,
Not match,
The skin,
It lives in?

I can not tell,
If he is as,
His legacy,
By birth.

If he does own,
The sainted words,
When he holds the crown,
It merely labels...

This worker of the lands,
I feel it on the inside,
Of his warm hands,

He is not a figurehead,
He just figured ahead.

I feel like my soul had known you lives before.
When I can not tell why.
Strange how these things haunt my mind.
If even there is an answer to find.

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Hearts broken

You keep on telling,
That I broke your heart,
I find it very odd,
You would state,
Something like this,
For I had the believe,
It was our heart,
Maybe that you didn't,
Thought of this,
In the same way,
Broke me as whole.

We just happend, and so did the parting, it happend. 

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Feel so real

If there ever was,
A cure for my,
Brain game,
Then it would have,
To be you,
My ease is easier,
Now that you have,
Put my head,
At rest,
There is no,
Medicine,
For this rush,
Yet the stream,
Feels like a dream,
I no longer know,
If time has run by me,
Or I forlorn time,
I can not tell,
But I still feel,
Now that I no longer think,
I do feel,
Feelings.

Maybe I spend to much time thinking about it, that before now,
I had not felt this before. 

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To die without dying.

How happy must I be,
When I can not get hurt,
By hurting thy?

I am not myself,
Standing on the shelf,
I am lost,
Trying to find,
Direction.

Maybe in all the looks,
I forgot that,
It could be found,
Also by listening.

How happy must I be,
When I can not get hurt,
By hurting thy?

Is it rude to say,
That these tears are not,
For you, for them.

Yet for the death of,
Whomever,
I once was,
May she never be found.

Again.

The only magic left is art.

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Spoonful of booze.

A spoon full of sugar,
Makes the medicine go down,
In that wisdom,
We lost ourselves,
Last night,
Beneath seven layers,
Of neon light,
I took of my shades,
Your eyes,
Finally saw,
That I was only,
Chaotic, messy, raw,
Not any of the things,
I appear to be,
Just a spoon full of sugar,
Makes the medicine go down,
Just a few sips of liquor,
Makes the words flow,
To places they are not,
Supposed to go...
I am too cold,
For this anything to grow,
Yet I can not say,
That tonight if I find,
Your eyes staring into mine,
A few sips of liquor,
Won't make me speak in such a flow,
I just wanted you to know,
You are warned.

Just a spoonful of sugar, makes the medicine go down. 

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Heavy heart

"Cause I'm heavy hearted..."
The only reason,
Why anyone could get in,
I need someone,
Anyone?
Carry me for a mile,
Please,
I got a heavy heart,
It's wearing me down,
It holds the weight,
Of all my memories,
Fools everyone to think,
That I am what,
Has happend to me,
I am not the weight,
Of all I ever have had,
I only have a heavy heart,
Too much I feel,
Too much for me to hold,
I can not bare,
This heavy heart,
"Take a part,
Break it,
I beg you,
Break my heart,
It's to heavy,
Too hold,
Take what you want,
There is no use,
In this heavy heart,
For me."
I get carried away,
So easily,
For every lift up,
Feels like falling.

This heavy heart of mine, will take us down, in time. 

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Not yours...

The way that you,
Pull me in,
Wrap your arm,
Around me,
Like I'm a present,
In your presence,
Makes me sick,
I throw it away,
Like trash in my can,
Did you fail to,
Notice that,
I'm not yours anymore?
They was you eager eyes,
Search for people near,
If the cost is clear,
I can only say,
I hope I made the bullet,
That shoots you down,
The kind of man,
That makes me mad,
She's alone at home,
When your here,
Asking me for attention,
But haven't you heard...
I'm not yours anymore,
I'm not yours anymore,
You've got your daling home,
Don't try with me,
When she's waiting,
Cause I'm not yours anymore.

Fuck words, fuck all the things, you ever said.
Fuck you. I'm not yours anymore.

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Fright to write

To ask,
If I might,
Is to talk,
Only in pride,
Are you,
That proud,
Of the words,
Coming from,
Your mouth?
Cause I think,
You should,
Consider them,
Wisely next time,
For you wont,
Be talking with,
Mine..
I won't ever write,
Of this moment,
Despite,
The thoughts it,
Triggers,
Never.

Why would you ask me,
When you already know...

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LIESLIESLIES

Suddenly,
I could see,
Honestly,
That I fell,
For someone,
Who didn't,
Exist,
It was so,
Hard to find,
Who you where,
Not here I stand,
Loving a ghost,
The idea,
Shut,
Ending in view,
You sudden,
Shallowness,
Crushes my illusion,
Leaves me in,
Between the echoes,
Of the one,
Who I wish,
You were,
If only,
You were,
I wish,
You would.

We saw what we wanted to,
Never even knew,
Just how messed up,
Things can get.

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Fuzzy Busy

Doing fine just on my own,
But this fever has grown,
Now I am just hoping,
That I'll survive,
Like an addict,
I am trying to run away,
From the one thing,
That will catch me,
Only when I am,
The one making it able,
For me to be chased,
I can not stay,
I can not go,
No where to turn,
No where to hide,
No nothing's left,
To lift,
This feeling I've got,
Maybe I am just,
More of a swing in the step,
The party of the life,
Then the life of the party is,
Who shall say,
That I am,
Doing just fine,
On my own,
Time has flown.

We are so busy with being occupied that we forget,
Ourself deserves just as much time of us,
Than any other does...

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Made it?

Words have been spoken,
Damaged hearts,
Are now,
Broken.

Words resonate around,
Reaching my ears,
Oh my fears,
It's me they found.

Words fall down,
Into oblivion,
My eyes turn black,
I drown.

Words are lost,
Inside my mind,
My heart,
At my cost.

If your not, We got lost along the way...

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Daddy's girl.

Snuggle into bed,
Warm and save,
Hear the beating,
Of your heart,
I wake up,
Fall asleep,
At the same time,
Most wonderful,
Feeling in the world,
With the three of you,
Locked inside,
That double bed,
One happy family,
Beloved,
I wrap myself,
Inside your,
Strong arms,
I am home,
So I will teach,
My children to love,
Just as you,
Taught me.

Love is all you need, Beatles & Daddy life lessons. 

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Her salvia on your mouth.

How you can say,
That you miss me,
And put you mouth,
On my neck,
When her salvia,
Is still on your lips,
I can not understand,
How can one,
Lie like that?
In the blink of an eye,
I wonder often,
Whether it may be,
Me and her,
Your fooling,
Or mainly yourself,
No one can lie,
When they are that drunk,
We are simply,
Incapable.

Maybe then you are,
Incapable to love?

He kissed her like het lips were air,
And he.. He couldn't breathe. 

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Passed.

Had not even,

Thought about,

You.

Bus driving by,

Not even once,

Wondered why.

Did not noticed,

We went by,

Your house.

Until we already,

Passed.

Just like I,

Never knew,

We were real.

Until it already,

Passed.

I loved this moment, Oh shit.... It passed. 

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Reset.

Do not worry,
About what's comming,
Or going,
It's not here now,
Anyways,
Yet you are,
So take a step back,
Breathe,
Open your eyes,
Look around,
What do you see?
Really see,
Is the world falling apart?
Are there flames surrounding you?
Is there poison dripping from the sky?
Are you a see trough ghost...
Watching paramedics bow down to your body?
If the answers are no,
Then it doesn't matter,
Go and see the beauty of the day,
For you might never know,
How much beauty beholds this all,
From another perspective,
If you do not like what you see,
If your world is crashing down,
Change perspective,
Reset.
You'll gaze at a prettier sight,
Then you're world would be rising.
Imagine that.

Try? Press the screen to reset your world. Enjoy. 

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